eel be all right soon

You won't eel a thing

You won't eel a thing

Look, dude, just close your eyes and get it over with. It’ll all be over soon. You’re just lucky your friend is too stupid to understand his boss’s orders: normally, when they say “Sleep with the fishes” they don’t mean sleep, you know what I’m sayin’? And I’m not going to tell him.

Isabella Rossellini fills the convents! (raincoaster)

Parker Posey is no angel either (Ayyyy)

Putin aside temptation (Lolebrity)

Industry Swiftly makes Kanye prOn (AgentBedhead)

Conan O’Brien is a cunning linguist (BusyBeeBlogger)

Adrien Brody is pursued by a succubus from Hell (CelebDirtyLaundry)

Angels get pregnant? (CelebritySmack)

Celebrity hobos (CityRag)

Cojo eulogizes Liz Hurley’s dress (CojoStyle)

Recession fashion tips from Vivienne Westwood (CyberBoris)

Kanye in the Sky with a microphone? (DailyStab)

Anne Hathaway is Jake Gyllenhaal’s guardian angel (EvilBeet)

Don’t EVER touch Charlie Sheen’s watch (Earsucker)

These are your people’s choices (GabbyBabble)

and deliver us from Speidi (GirlsTalkinSmack)

Un-chain Hilary Swank’s heart (GoFugYourself)

A Kardashian is judging you (HaveUHeard)

Russell Brand leaves his wife for Prince Charles (INeedMyFix)

Victoria Beckham and her incubus step out in daylight (JustJared)

Shalit be time for trading places? (Movieline)

The government hates your boss too (PerezHilton)

and in related news, Castro is still alive (PoorBritney)

Before Pee-Wee! (SeriouslyOMG)

 

Happy Halloween from me, some Afghani kids, and Edgar Allan Poe

 

Afghani kids play in the Kart e Sakhi cemetery

Afghani kids play in the Kart e Sakhi cemetery

 

And now, a little something from the Wayback Machine: a 1928 film inspired by Edgar Allan Poe’s The Fall of the House of Usher.

Sticks

 

Drive In Reality Theatre Peace Arch Crossing

Drive In Reality Theatre Peace Arch Crossing

 

Pretty nifty art, eh? Find out more about it at Wired. I think I liked it better when I thought it was a drive-in screen, but maybe I was just ….

projecting.

Oh, if only my old computer George were still with us! Truly should George’s passage be mourned throughout the interwebs, for upon George is the only copy I have of one of my best short stories, one that would be a perfect addendum to this post, about a middling hypnotist who gets to do his routine in front of a very posh crowd for once in his life, slightly overreaches, and accidentally drives the entire group of Bilderbergers irrevocably insane.

Oopsie.

As a replacement, please enjoy listening to this audiorecording of the somewhat absurd and extremely creepy Sticks, the only short story of Karl Edward Wagner‘s that I ever really liked (nice guy, but better editor than writer). Best listened to by candlelight, in a remote cabin in the woods.

Audio via RadioDramaRevival.com

Dawn of the Ted

Not to be mistaken for the I’m-sure-all-very-well-in-their-own-way series of educational videos that have shamelessly bandwagon-jumped on this nomenclature.

Vodpod videos no longer available.

Paris Hilton’s Bunny Hutch

 

Paris Hilton was in Donnie Darko? I don't remember that part.

Paris Hilton was in Donnie Darko? I don't remember that part. These remakes have gone too far.

imaj: Lolebrity
sorse: Fark

Mind you, if Jake Gyllenhaal is in this one too, I’d totally watch it. Some people wonder why Paris Hilton has a movie career, but think about it: House of Wax on DVD = $7 to watch Paris Hilton die!

And now, yes, your Gossip Links. It’s only three times a week, shut up!

Hipster Potter and the Philosophers, Stoned (raincoaster)
Friday Caption Contest: Cravat Edition (Ayyyy)
Ozzy and Slash: pocket queens (Lolebrity)
The Gruesome Twosome are no more (CelebrityBeehive)
Kate Moss is just dicking with Pete Doherty now (AgentBedhead)
Alicia Keys popped! (BusyBeeBlogger)
Pink gets on the horn (CelebDirtyLaundry)
We’ll have no Beyonceing here! (CelebritySmack)
Eva Longoria Parker poses next to a Paula Abdul impersonator (DailyStab)
Kim Kardashian’s butt armor needs a blacksmith ASAP (GabbyBabble)
NPH officially world’s coolest dad (HaveUHeard)
Katy Perry is no Julie Newmar (INeedMyFix)
What happens in Vegas stays…on PerezHilton (PerezHilton)
St Britney (PinkIsTheNewBlog)
10 best-dressed authors (Flavorwire)