how to get into Courtney Love’s pants

Doesn't she look great? 

One-time offer! Now, for the low, low price of just $99, you, too, can enjoy the experience once limited to the greatest rock star in the world and, before that, to anyone who tipped the stripper in coke.

from Gawker:

Sure, $99 seems like a lot to pay for a pair of slacks that have contained Courtney Love, but all proceeds go to the Chrysalis Organization, an organization that helps homeless people and ex-cons find jobs. It turns out that Courtney Love is a big humanitarian! Well, not as big as she used to be.

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Robert Goulet’s Emerald Nuts

via Neatorama. Them Canadians is tricksy, eh?

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Sandy Belle, the Desert Tokyo Rose

Country crooner and proud American Sandy Belle has a message for the troops.

Stolen from Seattle’s SLOG, the Stranger Blog, who were kind enough to compare it to the Donnie Davies video we have here at the ol’ raincoaster blog. Then they hosed my comment, the fuckers!

Nonetheless, we Vancouverites shall rise above it and, like Sandy herself, direct a welcoming wave of the hand down South.

“Now boys, I know you have a job to do and you’re far away from home,
but my girlie parts are turning into deserts of their own.”

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quiz: could you be a Phil Spector Juror???

Phil Spector, the King of Wigstock 

This is a big step for us here at the ol’ raincoaster blog: an absolute, 100% original (well, repurposed) quiz, based on the questionnaire used to screen jurors in the selection for the famous Phil Spector murder trial. I typed it up mine own seff, and I couldn’t be prouder of my baby! If only I knew how to fit that picture of his hair in the upload box, I’d be cooking with gas!

You scored as Alternate Juror. Congratulations, you are one hardboiled sumbitch and you have what it takes to be an Alternate Juror. Hell, you’re probably already a celebrity assistant, or if not you will be soon! Wear your best cashmere to court and wait for the offers!

Alternate Juror
80%
NOT Phil Spector Jurist Material
45%
YES! Welcome to the Phil Spector Jury!
32%

Are you Phil Spector jury member material?
created with QuizFarm.com

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MC Nuts vs the Shat: rapping the classics, old skool

I love that the YouTube post for the following says, with a boundless and entirely irrational optimism, “See http://www.utalkmarketing.com for more like this,” almost as if you’d want to. The shrivelled and crusty cockles of one’s heart are bewarméd at their boyish enthusiasm and entirely unjustifiable pride in product. You GO, girlfriends!

How not to rap the classics: with a cheap squirrel costume, rancid moves, a transparent mercenaric desperation to appeal to “yoof,” and an intrusive fake “street” accent, eg the Lake Country‘s tourism campaign’s would-be-viral video of Wordsworth‘s great Romantic poem, “I Wandered Lonely as a Cloud“.  

Contagious? Like ebola, baby! This thing has infected hard drives all over the world and, in fact, any laptop laid on a table that’s had an electronic device that has played this within the last thirty days is 80% likely to have its circuits liquified, spewing silicon in horrific gushes from every oriface.

Now, watch how it should be done, by that master of subtlety, The Shat!

Honestly, when William. Fucking. Shatner. pulls this off better than you, it’s time to turn in your Norton Anthology.

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