Operation Global Media Dominaton: the imperfect storm

I think we all know what a 45-degree angle looks like. And we know what a slope, dropping down at 45 degrees looks like. Like fun skiing, like nasty winter driving, like…

the stats for my blog ever since the Internet went out at my house.

Oh, they’ll recover, I suppose. It’s just a wee titch annoying that once I’d (or rather, you’d) finally cranked the hits up to almost 2k a day, Mother Nature (just as much of a bitch as my biological mother, and quite possibly as big a bitch as my stepmother, although it must be admitted, somewhat less likely to sell off my family heirlooms to purchase dreadful antiques and very definitely less likely to stencil cows with gingham aprons all around the ceiling of any rooms; Mother Nature prefers her cows with all four hooves firmly on the ground, except when she likes to send them flying in windstorms, which brings us back to why I still have no internet and why Mother Nature is a bitch).

God hates blogs.

who has rolled away the stone?

Ah, that would be telling! Like I said, Gawker, use a silver bullet next time.

can I whore it out or what?

I know what you want, baby. And you want Charo; I am here for you, bitch. We are all about YOU on the ol’ raincoaster blog, despite Gawker‘s attempts to claim we are all about the we me. Perish the thought!

So here’s one from the raincoaster archive (because Charo herself apparently pulled the post of her leading the Macarena on Fantasy Island that I wanted to post), but it bears repeating. Particularly when Chris is making up rules on the fly to ensure I will only return to Gawker after a 3 day commenter death. Gee, if only there were a hyperbolically egotistical parallel I could draw with that

del.icio.us: Can I whore it out or what?
blinklist: Can I whore it out or what?
furl: Can I whore it out or what?
Digg it: Can I whore it out or what?
ma.gnolia: Can I whore it out or what?
Stumble it: Can I whore it out or what?
simpy: Can I whore it out or what?
newsvine: Can I whore it out or what?
reddit: Can I whore it out or what?
fark: Can I whore it out or what?
Technorati me!

operation global media domination: victory dance macabre!

total information awareness large

Well that certainly didn’t last long, did it?

Thanks to a nameless Denton staffer who obviously seeks to flout his/her overlord’s will in all things, I have been reinstated as a Gawker commenter after a downtime of approximately…until I checked hotmail.

Next time follow the proper procedures, people.

TO DO: read Dracula.

 

operation global media domination: victory!

Seriously, you have no idea how important!

Welcome, the curious and unbanned.

TIAWell it took them long enough.

On the other hand, it’s palpably quite a lot better for hits than NOT being banned, so I won’t complain too much. Yes, today Gawker, Defamer, Gridskipper, Consumerist, et al, al, in fact, of Nick Denton‘s bloggy empire, joined the illustrious ranks of … hell, what WAS the name of that fan board? Only Orlando Plus! that’s right, thanks to the editors of Gawker they now stand side by side with a defunct Orlando Bloom and Viggo Mortensen fansite.

They have banned me.

I should probably be hurt by being called “stunningly unfunny” by the people who write TO DO, blog pet cuteness stakes, and Unsolicited, who are, as you can see from their posts, experts on the subject, but strangely, I am not. (I do cop to the ubiquity, though. Yep, they so totally nailed me there. ETA comma abuse: they didn’t even mention comma abuse!)

And today, I am up a significant percentage in hits. To the Twin Hermiones (and Balk) I say thank you. And good-bye.

Better to reign in Hell than serve in Heaven
(will miss Defamer though; that’s gonna hurt!)

PS: Update here. Being unbanned is nowhere near as good as being banned, hitwise. I’ll try to make the best of it.