Regular raincoaster fans (an irregular bunch, for sure) are well aware that around these parts (these ones right…here, to be specific) we recognize no gods; none but Cthulhu and Christopher Walken.

Mr Walken’s thespian skills are indisputed, but perhaps fans are less familiar with his amazingly powerful prose reading ability. Regular raincoaster readers will be familiar with his astonishing reading of The Three Little Pigs; new readers are welcome to click through and review before moving on to the new material.

Now, from the homeland of Alistair Cooke himself (via SeriouslyOMG), comes this stunning recording of Ronald Christopher Walken performing a dramatic reading of the poet Lady Gaga‘s masterpiece, Pokerface.

God knows, others have tried and failed to interpret this most elusive of musical geniuses:

Jude Law:

Perez Hilton:

But this, my friends?

This will never be topped.