Category Archives: poetry

RIP Jack Layton

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Jack Layton's immortal words are right there in orange and white

Jack Layton's immortal words are right there in orange and white

RIP, Jack: one of the greats is gone. You would have been an awesome Prime Minister, and you put that kitten-whoring robot who’s serving as Fuhrer in fear of his political life!

I know what I’ll be drinking tomorrow: The Layton: orange crush and jack!

Before he left, Jack Layton wrote Canada a letter, and never was there better proof that the man held his country foremost in his thoughts and close to his heart. Here it is:

Jack Layton's Letter to Canada

Jack Layton's Letter to Canada

Jack Layton's Letter 2

Jack Layton's Letter 2

Artist Stuart Thursby has translated some of Jack’s words into the powerful art you see at the top of this post, as well as others you can download from his site (he continues to update the site with new works). (via Tris Hussey)

And here, because not everything in memory of a man like that can be somber, are the song stylings of Jack “Party for Sale or Rent” Layton. And if you despair of human nature, look at the comments on the YouTube page: that man’s power of nobility is such that it even inspired YouTubers to behave with grace.

Via Bonnie Nish of Pandora’s Collective

Jack Layton's Words. Don't forget them.

Jack Layton's Words. Don't forget them.

Palin Poetry: The Palinleaks Haikus

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New Shakespalin

New Shakespalin

Many and varied are the treasures of the internet, and the greatest of these may be HaikuFinder. After spending far too much time trying to download and run the damn thing (okay, i got the program…and now I need to install Python? And then I need to hack a workaround into Vista, which won’t run Python? And then I need to disable my virus protection so it can run? and whatever, dudes) I find out there’s a website. Paste in the words aye wallah! Your Haiku: dey are fownd.

So, presumably the Python script etcetera exist so you can Haiku-ify top secret documents without the off-chance that Wikileaks will find your sooper-sekrit poetry stash? Okay then!

In related news, it’s obvious to the most casual observer of the Contemporary Poetry Scene that we are not the first to take a stab at finding the poetry in Palinisms: There was Slate’s fictional Palintry roundup, The Utne Reader’s architectonic analysis of an interview, Prospect Magazine (yes, even in the UK, which reminds me, did you see Mike Tyson at the Oxford Union? Oscar Wilde is spinning like a turbine, I’m telling you), and, of course, a year later the Huffington Post. And this book:

Tap that!

Tap that!

And, of course,William Fucking Shatner.

As you may be aware, the Great State and Future Province of Alaska has recently released all of Sarah Palin’s emails (now, Republicknuts, keep your panties on: they’re redacted) for your reading pleasure, and we at the ol’ raincoaster blog have taken this one step further by running said emails through the HaikuFinder, and here are the results [who, by the way, is this “Tibbles” who gets cc’d in on so much? Her cat?]:

Continue reading →

Keep Calm and Recite the Lords of Hockey Prayer

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Keep calm and Canuck on

Keep calm and Canuck on

I was walking down the street, minding my own business (for once) when, right at the corner of Richards and Hastings, I saw this. I had to have it. And since I don’t have a camera capable of photographing it well enough to capture all the text, I ripped it off the hydro pole on which it had been pasted, and took it with me to type it all out. So here it all is, laboriously typed out by hand, so I hope you appreciate it.

Thus saith Michael the Captain of the Lords Host,

The year I was born, they joined the Big League, and waited patiently for Me,

They didn’t play for last, no more two line pass, bring on the Holy Spirit Gas

To bring it into submission, you must surrender to a God, and agree on the vision

Good Grief, I love My Beloved Leafs, but Vancouver I desire to give the cup to thee

REVELATION 19 THROUGHT 22; EZEKIEL 9: DANIEL 12

I am Stanley’s Lord, drink from My cup, after the parade we will sit and sup

I AM the Man clothed in linen, with Trevor Linden, saying the Devils ain’t winning

Game 7, a loud trumpet sound, a musical ride gathered around

Oh Canada, don’t you see, New Jerusalem a virgin bride dressed for Me

Hebrews 13: Thessalonians 4:16-17

Skates of Fire, Stars on Ice, entertaining angels is it not nice

In 89, Al MacInnes stood on the line, Patrick Roy ducted every time

Lanny McDonald, I Am the Golden Arch, I began My shout on the 19th of March

Don Cherry, I Am the vine, you Me and Ron the Devils will whine

Matthew 24L Mathew 18:19, Daniel 12:1-4

Davey Crocket and the Richard Rocket, I have a cup, in My pocket,

Bobby Orr he shoots he scores, I AM Michael, I hold the oars

I row row row the boat, I Bless the Humble, and oppose the goat

If you want this gift from Me, get on your knes in My Name Jesus say please

Mark 13; Matthew 24; Luke 21

Uncle Steve and Wayne the future I see, Luongo, will stand on his head for Me

Hey twins call Sundin up, and tell him to come, and sip from My cup

Surroundd by the cops, the crowd weeps, and the tears will drop

The crowd will roar, the Master is home, as Roger packs the Thunder Dome

Revelation 14; 1st Thessalonians 4:16-17; Daniel 12:1-4

Scotties tissues, a tournament of hearst, as I tear her walls all apart

To her shall the Archangel sing, about a Seven Carrot, Diamond Ring

Hey B.C I aAm the Lion, I am Orion, and you are standing on Mount Zion

Before Christ, this is the blan, I long to give you the cup from My hand

Revelation CH 6 through CH 13 understand the silence Aug 26, 2011

The Pacific Rim, the Ring of Fire, all prepared for cowards and liars

A three game sweep, a three game come back, Michael and His Angels lead the attack

The Devil and his angels, all cast down, 7 trumpets and they will gather around

Gates and the Pope I will capture, the rest marked, and headed for disaster

Isaiah 11

Born to be My Baby, she gives love a bad name, The New Jersey Devils concede the game

Little Girl Airheart, I tore her world apart, IAM destined to win right from the start

Across the oceans her claim to fame, she is taking, My New Name in vain

In your hands, I command you to lift her up, Zion’s Daughter must raise My pup

Love OrionMichael Prince “MY NEW NAME” Rev 19:11-16; Rev CH 2 and 3

Email Michael_Prince777 AT yahoo.ca with questions and comments


High Ku Hollywood

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Snooki's book heralds the apocalypse. Well, WE all knew that. But we weren't gonna tell you!

Snooki's book heralds the apocalypse. Well, WE all knew that. But we weren't gonna tell you!

Conspiracies everywhere! What’s a person to do when reality itself is unreal? Is there a sure guide in these troubled and uncertain times, when it seems as if there are a million different perspectives on Rashomon itself?

Tom Hanks doesn't know what's going on and neither do I but I've just decided to "go with it"

Tom Hanks doesn't know what's going on and neither do I but I've just decided to "go with it"

At least I finally got something useful out of the pointless drama that’s been going on around here lately. I ran the entire Fandumb post through the Haiku Finder, comments and all, and found a haiku. One. ONE haiku. From 4,852 words. This only confirms my belief that this is the lamest, most boring bunch of trolls I’ve ever had the misfortune to encounter. From almost five thousand overly-emotional words, only one haiku can be gleaned, and it is my own.

I think Monet died
before he really hit his
stride artistically.

You’d think a few Impressionist dealers would have chimed in, with a statement as controversial as that, and in poetry no less, but noooooooo! In any case, let’s make an attempt to get back to “normal”? around these parts, with a bog-standard and hardly dramatic list of Hollywood gossip links. I expect Khloe Kardashian’s red hair to be blamed on me any second, but oh well, what can you do? I DID totally talk her into it.

Pointless Internet Drama, I wish I could quit you (raincoaster)

Good Mourning! (Ayyyy)

Colin Firth’s face AND Alan Rickman’s voice, in one post! (Lolebrity)

Toni Collette vs Coldplay (AgentBedhead)

Amy Winehouse goes Full Brazilian (BusyBeeBlogger)

Miranda Kerr and Orlando Bloom welcome world’s most beautiful baby (CeleBitchy)

Amy Winehouse is wearing an awfully tall belt (NSFW) (CelebDirtyLaundry)

It’s Ted Williams’ world; we just live in it (CelebritySmack)

Detouched Celebrities (CityRag)

He’s still a douchebag, but he’s an awfully decorative one when he’s nekkid (DailyStab)

Robert Pattinson doesn’t know who he is (FitFabCeleb)

Celebrity pizzaface (GirlsTalkinSmack)

Jane Krakowski is packing babeh (HaveUHeard)

Kardashian Kard Konflict! (INeedMyFix)

Britney leaks! (PoorBritney)

The evolution of the fashion blogger (PopBytes)

Drew Barrymore narrowly escaped from Borat, it seems (TheSkinny)

Kim Kardashian has a big mouth (SeriouslyOMG)

 

 

A New Year’s Prayer from Jeff Buckley

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This was Jack Kerouac, every single day

This was Jack Kerouac, every single day

The more I see/hear/read of this guy, the better I like him. Yes, some true abominations have been done in his name (including the entire genre of hipster music; you know what I’m talking about: I’m talking about the soundtrack of Juno, that’s what I’m talking about) but as with Hunter S. Thompson and William Falkner, the original emanates such pure, numinous quality that it nearly absolves the wannabes from their failure, because everybody can understand wanting a piece of that, however second-hand and degraded.

via CelluloidBlonde