You know her; she’s the shrill, brittle Republican chick. No, not that one; you’re thinking of Mary Matalin. The other shrill, brittle Republican chick; the deep-fried blonde, bleached to a middle-aged semblence of desirability, fake & bake tanned to leathery perfection, starved to the point of Brancusi-like cuddliness. If she fell against a table she wouldn’t bruise; she’d chip. THAT one. If you’re Canadian, you may recall the time she so ably represented the US education system by maintaining, against even our polite CBC moderator’s spoken objections, that the Canadian military fought alongside the Americans in Vietnam. Vietnam, Korea, I guess they all look alike, right?
The Ann Coulter Quiz from Esquire, via Minor Tweaks via Gawker.
The Ann Coulter Quiz
From a feature in April’s Esquire in which semi-famous women give men romantic advice:
“Ann Coulter: When we’re telling you about our day, pretend there’s going to be a quiz later.”
1. For breakfast, did I have …
a.) eggs and toast
b.) strawberry yogurt
c.) an English muffin
d.) the still-beating heart of a newborn lamb washed down with the bitter tears of the world’s poor
2. Did I research my next column by …
a.) considering others’ opinions before reaching my own
b.) engaging in civil discussion with a friend
c.) meditating on what really matters
d.) recycling the same jingoistic nonsense, but inserting different racially offensive epithets and new historical inaccuracies
3.) How did I spend the rest of my day?
a.) Apologizing profusely for making our nation’s discourse less reasoned and more hateful
b.) Scolding myself mercilessly for appealing to the comfortable prejudices of the least-thoughtful among us
c.) Searching my soul for some lonely glimmer of humanity
d.) none of the above
Something that’s not done often enough is liveblogging the death of a horrific war criminal. Here’s just what you need to unblock that entertainment-news-stodge in your gut.
Sorry about the ugly link. Firefox is, apparently, not as user-friendly as IE and SPARE ME your dork lectures. Had them already, when I complained about my bike being inconvenient to ride. “Oh, that’s just because you don’t have an A-47.6665DoRKTastic helmet and you insist on wearing regular clothes, rather than buying a whole bike-specific, dorktastic outfit that makes you look like a beefy extra from a 50’s sci-fi movie, and why do you insist on wearing a backpack? Everyone knows you have to use panniers and then when you get to the destination you take the panniers off because otherwise they’d be stolen and presumably you pull your backpack out of them and put them into the backpack and hit a public washroom to change out of your alien reentry costume before going to your meeting…hey, wait! I wasn’t finished! There’s more…
