A very Mötley Twö

Gzerod Von Staaf

Gzerod Von Staaf has this to say: Too Metal for Motley Crue: my new Willie Nelson-look-alike friend and I both deemed “unacceptable” for a “metal” show. Note our “dangerous and inappropriate” necklaces. I am done with this city.

Ladies and Gentlemen, that’s what you get for trying to be edgy in placid Victoria, BC. Gzerod Von Staaf (possibly the most metal name I’ve ever heard) is, to no-one’s surprise, the frontman of a band, Staaf Only. His commitment to the heavy metal lifestyle and look is clear from the eyeliner-and-yes-metal-heavy photos on his Facebook page. His popularity is clear from the several thousand Likes he’s collected. He was probably as excited as any fellow musician in the field to have tickets to the Mötley Crue concert in town, and regalia’d himself out appropriately, as you can see in the above instagram. We shall say nothing about instagram not being metal, for we are not a hardass.

Unlike, apparently, the security guard at Save On Foods Memorial Centre (“Memorial?” is it bankrupt or something?). Here is what happened, from a couple of posts on the Motley Crue Facebook page”

Renee LaFortune said, “The rent-a-cops security at Save-on-foods arena in Victoria, BC, would not admit Gzerod Von Staaf to the concert tonight. Not cool.” and garnished it with footage of a truly impressive guitar solo, for bonus cred.

Then on my friend Jodie’s wall, she elaborated on what had happened.

  • It wasn’t the band, nor the arena (or so they tell me), it was a contracted security firm, hired by the arena.
  • Renee LaFortune The ticket money was NOT refunded. Complaints have been filed all over the place.
  • Renee LaFortune note: the above photo was taken outside the arena. The two people (Gzerod and the Willie Nelson look-alike) were denied admittance.

Stephanie Landucci, Von Staaf‘s girlfriend was also apparently denied admittance to the show for dress-code-related reasons, which left her plenty of time to post about it on Facebook and challenge the Crue directly.

Tonight, my boyfriend and I were denied admittance to the Victoria, B.C. concert, based on the fact that he was wearing several chain necklaces. Moments before this occurred, a group of Ed Hardy clad, gold chain sporting coke heads were ushered in with no problem at all.

My boyfriend is a conscientious, law-abiding non-drinker, as well as amazing musician and great admirer of the Crue, yet these partially-literate fucktards, who are the most likely to cause harm, undue violence, drink and drive, and ultimately date rape some girl they meet at the show, are welcomed and encouraged to get drunk. Where is the justice, Crue?

Indeed. If it can’t keep Ed Hardy-wearing douchenozzles out of your show, what the hell kind of dress code is that? Related: I was not there, so I don’t know, but by any chance were the band sporting metal?

Best comment of the night goes to Greg Bulmash: “Motley Crue’s idea of “metal” these days is the iron supplements their nurses give them with their morning porridge.”

I’m considering a career change

Lisa we have to talk

Lisa we have to talk

Seriously, this “childcare” thing looks hella fun! I can playtest plotlines for my novel while earning money and watching tv. Of course, I’ve been told that pet care pays better (and a quick search through Craigslist confirms this) but you know how cats are.

Fuck This cat

Fuck This cat

They’re even worse than editors.

Unacceptable Cat

Unacceptable Cat

DramaSec: unintended side-effects

The fearsome Goofy Elk

The fearsome Goofy Elk

One of the unintended side-effects of staring too long at a DramaSec op (previously known as Dramz, Flamewars, or Fucking Pointless Internet Drama Put Your Big Girl Panties On And Cut It Out FFS) is the contagion of the Derp Factor.

You have been warned.

DramaSec, weekend edition

Ever tried to do a simple tarot reading and keep having it come out weird? Yeah, so like that.

ninja raincoaster card

ninja raincoaster card

ron ninja card

But not to be mistaken for news that Ron IS a ninja

Ron is not a Ninja. Ron is, apparently, Asher Wolf. You may wish to get a piece of paper and pen to diagram out this particular post. As always, it gets confusing when the Lamo card is played.

ninja lamo card

lamo may or may not be a ninja, but he is clearly a Discordian

Sorry, Asher, you haven’t got a Ninja Trading Card yet like Ron and Lamo and Me.

First on Friday our old pal Ron goes apeshit on me, gloating about getting my articles edited after the fact (I have to find this out from Ron boasting on Twitter about getting the Daily Dot to eat crow? Imagine my joy). Then on Saturday, internet privacy activist and Cryptoparty founder Asher Wolf decides that doxing Barrett Brown‘s ex-girlfriend is a moral imperative. Why? Because, since Asher can’t find any record of her online prior to 2011, she must be a Fed plant.

Let’s review that: because someone leaves no tracks online, a leading internet privacy activist decides she is ipso facto an FBI plant.

As part of the pointless #DramaSec (my coinage, thank you, and you may Paypal me five bucks every time you use it if you wish. And why not? Times are tough chez raincoaster lately), Asher publicized a Pastebin someone had made of a Facebook thread in which BB’s ex and her friends, including me, basically went “what the actual fuck, Asher?” It’s not rocket science; nor is it spywork. It is ludicrous, my friends.

This of course inspired my own Facebook thread, which is reproduced here for fans of pointless, internecine internet drama. Once again, I find myself saying:

Eyes on the prize, people. Is this making the world a better place?

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Ruralopolis, Here I Come!



Well, I think that’s it. I’ve got The Place.

This is the view from The Place, roughly.

The Place is 14 acres of vineyards and horse paddocks on a major scenic trail, a ten minute drive from downtown. It is a one bedroom cabin with a full basement and about 25% more space than I have in Vancouver, for exactly the same cost. Every horse owner I can entice to board his/her horse on the property lowers my rent by the amount the board brings in. If I feed and muck out, that amount is doubled.

Since I got fat, I’ve been looking for low-impact ways to get some physical work in, given that my career involves sitting on my ass typing, and since I was a groom in a hunt stable right out of school and have been pining to get back into the horse world for years, this seems ideal.

So the plan is to move my stuff into storage on Feb 25, either here or (more likely) up in Ruralopolis where it’s cheaper, and then when I get to move in, on April 1 (no joke) bung the lot in and sort it out later, acquiring or building more bookshelves as may be.

Maybe I should tell The Sister I’m moving out of Vancouver, after 32 years ( HOLY FUCK I AM OLD) but I don’t want to shock her.