One more reason to drink

To save Formula One Indy racers’ lives.

It’s up to you, people.

Pacific Tree Octopus caught on camera!

They are very rarely captured while blooming

pacific tree octopus blossoms by liz wolfe

We’ve previously covered the tragic decline of the noble Pacific Tree Octopus, once a monarch of the temperate rainforest, now sadly reduced to a furtive, shadowy band of cedar-crawling hobos, frantically fleeing from chainsaw-wielding lumberjacks. In this shocking image, Artist Liz Wolfe has managed to capture a cluster of them in mid-orgy. Never before have the cavortings of the Pacific Tree Octopus been captured on film. Truly a breathtaking sight.

And, for those of you looking for something a little earthier, here is a video of two octopuses having sex, from the Vancouver Aquarium.

From the notes:

Within minutes of introducing the male to a female octopus – sex happened… The whole process took roughly four hours.

Four hours? No wonder he got lucky so fast!

Border Collies do it better

 

Bored Collie is bored

Bored Collie is bored

 

Yes, border collies do it better, no matter what “it” is. Proof: this border collie plays Yahtzee better than you. Let’s see a Chihuahua top that!

Research paper of the day: snot otter sperm

le otter du snot

snot that important, really

So apparently the Snot Otter, aka Hellbender aka Devil Dog is endangered. “Very little reproduction has taken place in recent years.” Well, looking at one, I can believe it; he’s totally let himself go. Get that salamander to a gym, give him a good skin care routine and equip him with a few dance moves and next stop: PlentyOfFish!

This was an addendum to a research post about hipsters linked to by Gawker, but thank god for once I read right to the bottom. It is possibly the most interesting research notation I’ve read since the Journal of Irreproducible Results posted the Psychology of the Necronaut.

From Miller-McCune Magazine:

“Dr. Agnew and Dr. Carleton’s expertise and equipment were invaluable in helping us validate and document the results of our initial cryopreservation trials with the hellbender semen.” — Sally Nofs of the Nashville Zoo, on efforts to develop conservation techniques to sample and freeze sperm from the last surviving hellbender salamanders — the largest kind in North America — which are also affectionately known as “snot otters” or “devil dogs.” Note: We made none of this up.

I believe you.

Zombie Sex Guide: a public service announcement

Today’s safe sex warning comes to us from Zombieland, just in time for Halloween. While you’re out there shopping for your Slutty Zombie/Playa Zombie costume, remember not to make it too realistic. You don’t want anyone avoiding you because of any of the following zombie-specific sex challenges:

  • crotch rot
  • S&M without the sting
  • insertion without the option of exertion (dropped limb syndrome)
  • or the truly terrifying consequences of necronautical oral sex:
That totally blows, guys
Zombie blow jobs suck.

Oral sex can be challenging for zombies, especially if you’re in a state of advanced decay or have taken a lot of physical damage. The repetitive sucking and mouth movement can overtax the jaw joint and cause permanent dislocation of the mandible. In addition, your partner’s genitalia may have degenerated to the point of being unrecognizable. And if you thought the smell was bad before…