That is an as-yet-unnamed-but-obviously-world’s-cutest variety of octopus that’s been found by a new expedition to the dark depths off Newfoundland. I suggest “Octo-Newf” as it is both geographically specific and way cute. As we’ve mentioned before, cute is critical in our contemporary media climate. You’ve gotta have a gimmick if you hope to knock Boat Smashing Whale off the evening news.
The Gummy Bear periodic table
My class never did anything this fun.
Gummy Bears, see, are made out of sugar. Sugar and … uh … gummy. Duh. Sugar and gummy and that’s it, bare; hence, gummy bears. It’s obvious. And potassium chlorate is made out of potassium and chlorate.
Still with me?
And potassium and chlorate are neither sugar nor gummy nor even sugar and gummy, and when they all meet it’s more or less like the Hatfields met the Capulets, or perhaps more like when the McCoys met the Montagues.
And that ain’t good, whether you’re a substrate or a … superstrate? Or even a tumbler, as our poor gummy bear sacrifice here appears to be.
So sad. As god is my witness, I thought gummy bears could climb.
Once again, this blog is on the very forefront of fairy science as we reveal this shocking photo evidence that, as alluded to in the Victorian document known as “Peter Pan
O cursed is the world that contains such abominations! Undead skeletal fairies, roaming the forest in search of innocent victims to torture! What unspeakable evil could have dreamed such perversion? Who can be behind this eldritch and unnameable madness?
Are you thinking what I’m thinking?
As god is my witness, I thought airplanes could fly. Next Saturday, we’ll learn otherwise, as Vancouver International Airport hosts an old-skool plane pull-off for charity.
The charity is Orbis, and they’re all about the airplanes since they have one of their own:
The ORBIS Flying Eye Hospital circles the globe to train eye care professionals and treat underserved patients in developing countries. Here are the Flying Eye Hospital destinations for 2010, as well as previous years’ destinations.
Niamey, Niger
Kaduna, Nigeria
Kampala, Uganda
Dalian, China
Chengdu, China
Phnom Penh, Cambodia
Jakarta, Indonesia
Surabaya, Indonesia
Da Nang, Vietnam
I know some of the people who’ll be pulling next weekend: each team commits to raising a minimum of $1000 for the charity. Interested? Get 19 of your friends together, raise some money, and show up Saturday to pull a full-size FedEx plane 12 feet. The winning team is the one who pulls it the fastest (magnets in your shorts might seem like a good idea, but would probably result in an involuntary de-pantsing).
Here are the key deets:
When, Where and What Time is the Plane Pull?
The ORBIS Pull for Sight 2010 will be held in Vancouver, British Columbia. There is ample free parking on the FedEx Apron grounds. The event area opens at 10:00am with the actual pulls occurring between 10:30am and 12:30 pm. The event will take place rain or shine.Date: Saturday, May 15, 2010
Time: 10:00 a.m. to 1:30 p.m.
Location: Vancouver International Airport – FedEx Apron
Address: 3151 Aylmer Road, Richmond, BC V7B 1L5
How much is it?
There is NO registration fee. Each team MUST raise a minimum $1,000. All donations are entitled to a tax receipt. (E.g. For a team of 20 members, each member only has to raise $50!)Why participate?
All money raised through the ORBIS Pull for Sight 2010 will go towards supporting ORBIS’s Kids Sight program that will benefit blind and visually impaired children throughout the developing world.
Here is the pledge form! And may the best team win!
I tried to tell you. I tried to tell you why:
Just why.
It’s really very, very simple. If a picture is worth a thousand words, then here are three thousand words plus a few extra which, together, explain everything:
In this picture you can clearly see that the “volcanic” phenomenon are actually caused by the return of Godzilla. This is consistent with previous Godzilliandamage and destruction to property manifestations: fire breath, atmospheric disturbances, , disrespect of rule of international law, atomic disturbances and worldwide panic. Obviously, last time we buried Him so deep He dug His way out all the way over in Iceland, and His proximity to the surface of this tiny island nation explains the aberrantly swollen economy, its subsequent bust, and the remarkable prevalence of superpowers, in particular indie music stardom, among the population.
You still doubt? Contrast and compare:
Hampstead Heath, yesterday.
The conga line in the Seventh Seal.
Questions?
raincoaster 