getting medieval on your astronaut!

How I love it when a loyal reader sends along a piece of web strangeness saying, “Saw this freakishness and thought of you.”

I feel speshul.

A certain horse blogger of heretofore normal inclinations has passed along the following sad and bizarre tale.

Remember when you were little, and you were asked what you wanted to grow up to be? Now, as a little girl I knew “cowboy” was off the table, but I saw no reason not to say “jillaroo” or, indeed, “astronaut.” “Firefighter” was for dumb lugs, sorry to my four cousins who became firefighters; I can only suggest they are playing against type.

Yes, didn’t we all want to be astronauts when we grew up? Everyone old enough to have seen the first Moon landing surely shares my one-time dream. But, as age and marks caught up with us, we realized we’d never have the PhD from MIT that seems to be the prerequisite, much less the Olympic medals, the Saudi princedom, or the College Republican presidency that are just the oak leaf clusters on the dingleberries of your application form.

We felt bad.

Ladies and gentlemen, allow us at the ol’ raincoaster blog to make your day. Allow us, in fact, to make up for decades of feelings of inadequacy. Your life may suck. Your job may involve the phrase “would you like fries with that?” Your love life may be as imaginary as your next vacation. Your socks could have holes, your dog could snap at you, and your shirt could well be tucked into your underwear at this very moment.

But you will never be the country-song-in-waiting that is the trainwreck which is this astronaut’s sorry-ass life.The mugshot goodness!

A NASA astronaut faces her first appearance before a judge this morning after police say she attacked her rival for another astronaut’s attention at Orlando International Airport Monday.

Lisa Marie Nowak drove more than 12 hours from Texas to meet the 1 a.m. flight of a younger woman who had also been seeing the astronaut Nowak pined for, according to Orlando police. She is being held on no bond at Orange County Jail and has a court appearance at 9 a.m.

Nowak — who was a mission specialist on a Space Shuttle Discovery flight last summer — was wearing a trench coat and wig and had a knife, BB pistol, and latex gloves in her car, reports show. They also found diapers, which Nowak said she used so she wouldn’t have to stop on the 1,000-mile drive.

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the secret to hula-hooping

So this is why I can’t do it. From Explosm.

the secret to hula-hooping

quiz: which Herb Alpert and Tijuana Brass album cover are you?

You scored as Whipped Cream and Other Delights.

Whipped Cream and Other Delights
100%
Lonely Bull
92%
Warm
83%
S R O
83%
Going Places
83%
Ninth
75%
Beat of the Brass
67%
Summertime
67%
Christmas Album
67%
Brass Are Comin’
58%
Sounds Like
33%
What Now My Love
33%
Volume 2
25%
South of the Border
25%

Which classic Tijuana Brass Album cover are you?
created with QuizFarm.com

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Lord Krishna and the Milkmaids

From the Archive
                  Wednesday, January 07, 2004

Krishna and the milkmaids

I read The Life of Pi recently, and loved it, but one story in particular has struck me. It just perfectly parallels one of the ongoing Inet dramas around. So here is the story.

                  Lord Krishna was a little bored with hanging out his usual haunts, being godlike, so he brainstormed and thought now what would be really, really different from being a god? I KNOW!
                  Being a cowherd! and indeed, it is hard to disagree, so being Krishna and all, he just went ahead and turned himself into a cowherd. Nowadays I’m sure he’d just go into a chat room and try to be cowherd like, but that was back then, okay?

                  So the god Krishna was a cowherd. Bully for him. Now, there wasn’t much to do as a cowherd. Watch the cows, sure, but you would not believe how fast that gets tired. And back then they had no honky-tonk bars. So what did Krishna do? Well Krishna, like many gods, has a sharp eye for a curvy mortal. What do cows have in terms of support staff, other than cowherds? They have milkmaids, my dear. And these were some good-looking milkmaids, too. And horny. And Krishna was like WooHoo!!! PARTY!!!

                  Every night he would sign on…I mean go out to the woods and dance with the milkmaids. He was a god, there was enough of him to go around. His abundance was such that there was enough of him to dance with all the milkmaids at once, and they were happy and Krishna was having a blast. This state of affairs continued for quite some time, and Krishna was by far the most popular cowherd around, rumours about his background notwithstanding, I think it was the dancing that made him so popular. But then, one night as the dance reached its height each girl felt, in her heart of hearts, as if he were dancing with her and her alone.

     At that moment, he vanished forever.

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Operation Global Media Domination: the equuation

Sometimes one can, if one examines one’s stats closely enough, begin to detect slight, almost microscopic changes that could lead one to believe that the Internet was responding to an entirely new set of demands.

Like today:

Search Engine Terms

These are terms people used to find your blog.

Today

Search Views
daniel radcliffe in equus poster 106
daniel radcliffe equus poster 60
Daniel Radcliffe in Equus 29
Daniel Radcliffe Equus 17
beaver shot 14

Yesterday

Search Views
donnie davies 78
beaver shots 43
daniel radcliffe equus 39
raincoaster 29
daniel radcliffe in equus 17

2007-01-30

Search Views
blackzilla 84
beaver shot 45
Donnie Davies 25
raincoaster 15
narnia 9

Looking for this?

Daniel Radcliffe and a horse in Equus

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