Category Archives: technology

Operation Global Media Domination: Technorati crumbles

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TIAMADE IT!

Finally I am back in the top 100,000 blogs on technorati.

raincoaster

$e(‘bsearch’).value = “Search this blog”;

 

About bloody time, too. There are actually more like 150 blogs that link here, but because Technorati is not technologically sophisticated enough to recognize that one blog could have two URLs, it only counts the ones made since the domain switchover. Thank god for the 700-or-so misguided surfers who came here yesterday, looking for info about Borat getting the shit pounded out of him in NYC.

If it weren’t for the fact I’m so incredibly self-referential, I’d still be languishing with the haircut blogs down at the three millionth position. At this rate, with a couple more flamewars, I should be back to the old ranking by about Christmas time, which will be a nice pressie. If I haven’t made it by then, I’ll just start picking fights with celebublogs at random and linking to blogs nobody else links to randomly, as they are always so grateful.

Beware, ye mighty and ye obscure!

how to stuff a blog

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blogwars! 

from Gawker, who helpfully shares some blog-stuffing tips for the sake of their Dark Lord, Nick Denton, who is slumming it this week as a writer for Valleywag (fluffing the VC’s, Nick?). One gawktease commenter has requested my email, claiming many and varied interesting Gawker tidbits, but has yet to put out for me. I’m not going to wait forever, baby; show me yours and I’ll show you mine.

Meanwhile, I appear to be the only one who reads these tips and thinks “those would work for blogging drunk, too.” See the rest of this blog for examples.

  • Photoshop and other graphical tricks can often disguise the fact that your posts have little or no information in them.
  • “This thing looks like that thing” never gets old. Ask Kurt Andersen!…
  • Engage the commenters. Sure, some of them can be truculent or deliberately obtuse, but the involvement of a comment community can really make any post – no matter how vapid or desperate – appear to be a riot of activity.
  • Don’t be afraid to be hypocritical. Worried about castigating someone for committing the exact same practices in which you usually engage? Don’t give it a second thought! Who remembers? And if someone does, and e-mails you an angry response, hey, free post!
  • Naked chicks amp up clickthroughs. Rock ’em…
  • When all else fails, never underestimate the power of a screengrab to masquerade as actual content. It’s quick, it’s easy, and requires little effort on your part.

    • Mission Improbable: The Overly-Serious Fishing Guy

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    The Mission: to infiltrate Verizon’s corporate campus and score some sweet largemouth bass. The only man for the job: the Overly-Serious Fishing Guy!

    Pulp Fiction meets Halo; Ezekiel 25:117

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    The best part of the movie is still the surf guitar introduction. Got to love that Dick Dale.

    Adaptation of the Ezekiel 25:17 done using Halo graphics. We cut a few things because they’d be difficult to recreate, however, what was done was matched angle for angle. Master Chief is Spartan 117, so this is called Ezekiel 25:117 :-)

    Operation Global Media Domination: raincoaster the drama queen

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    total information awareness

    Ladies and gentlemen, I have joined a rare sorority indeed. Up in the Cloud-Cuckoo Land inhabited by the likes of Xeni, Atrios, Matt and Robert, one is issued with one’s very own Stanford-grad intern and Technorati fluffers upon entry.

    I, my friends, have ascended.

    I have my own tag.

    Now, the eagle-eyed among you will have already noticed that if you check Technorati for blog entries associated with the tag “Operation Global Media Domination” that I have pretty much a complete hegemony on all OGMD-related posts. This is no accident; indeed, I put the fix in early and often for that one, and to, obviously, great effect.

    But as every self-aggrandizer knows, the true laurels are those which come to you when you least expect them, from strangers.

    An unknown (and possibly unknowable) WordPress member has bestowed upon me my very own tag.

    “raincoaster the drama queen“

    *wipes away a tear* 

    Alas, Dr Mike has proactively deleted it; now not only do I look histrionic, I look like I’m hallucinating as well! A screencap, a screencap, my Slithering Reptile TLB Ranking for a screencap!