the rise and fall of William J. Sidis OR What my parents did wrong

Story of MY life too

Well this explains a lot. Ever read someone else’s life story and know that, on some all-you-mortals-look-alike level you were really reading your own biography?

For those of you who don’t know as much about me as I do, I shall provide a brief recap:

  • was reading the Globe and Mail at four
  • used to get up early and watch University of the Air algebra and calculus classes before preschool
  • was nearly put into a school for the mentally retarded at six, because the teachers couldn’t figure out why I was so detached from their lessons on how to spell “cat”
  • at my mother’s insistence was given an IQ test, scoring 136 and sparing myself from a life of institutionalized intellectual lowballing
  • skipped most of primary school in favour of sitting in the library, reading encyclopedias. Got through four editions of the Encyclopedia Brittanica alone, lamenting the lower standards in each one
  • was once frogmarched out of the library to write a math test in Grade Four. Hadn’t attended class all year. Got 98%
  • have been vigorously and repeatedly thrown out of every institution of higher learning in the Lower Mainland including (but not limited to) Vancouver Community College Langara, VCC Kwantlen Richmond, VCC Kwantlen Surrey, University of British Columbia, Simon Fraser University, and although the Open Learning Institute is forbidden by charter to throw anyone out, they did write to me and ask if I’d consider giving it a rest
  • let’s just say I got a work ethic for my 30th birthday, not before.

Now, from the highly marvelous and damn interesting website Damn Interesting, comes this tale of shocking parallels. My parents weren’t New York intellectuals, it’s true, but they were both easily in the genius class and never tired of setting up new hoops for my brain to jump through. How many packs of flash cards they wore out on me only God knows.

In fairness, my mother once said, “Once I’d seen what I’d done with you, I decided to raise your sister differently.” Which may be why my sister has a BMW and a four bedroom house in Crystal Beach.

Now to our story:

The Sidises believed that aggressive curiosity was a quality to be nurtured, so Sarah gave up her career in medicine to dedicate her life to the child’s development. William‘s thirst for knowledge never went unquenched, and by his first birthday– an age when most children are still babbling– he was honing his spelling skills. At one and a half years of age, he was reading the daily newspaper.

As William approached his fifth birthday, his spectacular abilities began to draw the attention of the press. He had taught himself to operate the typewriter from his high chair, tapping out a letter to Macy‘s regarding an order for toys. He had also taken it upon himself to learn Latin, Greek, Russian, French, German, and Hebrew. His appetite for information seemed endless as he easily chewed through weighty tomes such as Gray’s Anatomy and the works of Homer. He entered grammar school at age six, but in just over half a year he had advanced into high school curriculum. His stunning accomplishments soon became a frequent feature on the first page of the New York Times.

However:

William did not live long after that; in the following July his landlady telephoned the police after discovering him unconscious in his Boston apartment. Forty-six year old Sidis had suffered a massive stroke, and he never again regained consciousness. Such was the end of the one-time prodigy who had astonished a Harvard math audience at age eleven; he died a reclusive, penniless office clerk.

Those who knew him in his later life spoke of his conspicuous brilliance and his mastery of over forty languages, but his tangible contributions to society seemed to be relatively few for someone of his talents. Some argue that his parents pushed him too hard in his youth– overexerting his exceptional mind at an early age– and some blame the press for driving him into isolation. There is considerable evidence that William favored the Okamakammesset tribal philosophy of “anonymous contribution”, a principle which implies that one’s value is not measured by one’s visible contributions to society.

Though he probably would not have put much stock in formal measures of intelligence, it is estimated that William Sidis‘s IQ was as high as 300, where 100 is average and over 140 is considered genius. Whatever the reason for his underwhelming output later in life, he was certainly one of the most profoundly gifted human beings who ever lived. There is no telling what William might have accomplished for mathematics and science if only his talents had not been squandered.

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Molly Ivins RIP

If you don’t know who Molly Ivins was, shut down your computer, go to an independent bookstore, and ask.

If you’d like to read the latest Molly Ivins article, click here for Stand Up Against the Surge. There are more of her articles on AlterNet.

If you’d like to see a video of her which I stole from Pharyngula, click on this:

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a field guide to fandom, Barbaro edition

horse avatar of Barbaro...I mean Vishnu! 

Ladies and gentlemen, we present to you this amazing Hinterland’s Who’s Who guide to Barbaro messageboard fans. It’s from the Philadelphia Weekly, who should immediately give D-Mac a raise, and gotten at via Bridlepath.

Oh, I know what you’re thinking: but raincoaster, I’m not a horsefan; but raincoaster, I don’t care about horse fans; I don’t want to learn about online animal adoration forums; I came here for beaver shots. But read on, O Skeptical Reader, read on!  Remember always that God makes us become what it is that we profess to despise, for lo, he is a twisty bastard, yeh.

As a taxonomy of fandom archetypes, this is near-perfect. Here we have all of the typical pathologies, their sordid lumps lurking barely disguised under the thin cover of a My Little Pony Barbaro Special Edition quilt. Oh, the clowns wear their happy and their sad faces with scarlet grins and glitter-drawn teardrops and many, many animated gifs, but still they hobble a well-beaten track and lunge in circles, spinning slowly in the soundless depths of cyberspace.

Behold fandom revealed.

Pray for us. Poor Tom’s a-cold!

Anthropomorphic Barbaroites: These posters believe in a Barbaro that can not only read letters on an Internet messageboard, but also that he can read them from beyond the grave. Also called Mr. Edsters, these posters usually write up extended letters addressed directly to Barbaro, thanking him for everything he taught them and telling him to stay strong.

Example:

Dear Barbaro:There are so many tears flowing today from all of your FOB’s. We have to remember that even though we are sad, you are free from pain, beautiful and perfect as you should be. There are no more casts, bandages, or special shoes. God and Dr R have finally healed you completely.

I watched the news conference about you today. Everyone (Mom, Dad and Dr R) were so sad when they talked about saying Good Bye to you today. We’re all so glad they had some time to say their special goodbyes. You know they love you very much.

Your FOB’s and BarbaroManiacs are also sad today. But, you taught us all how to live life to the fullest (enjoy treats and special friends) and face adversity head on. We won’t let you down. When we can pick ourselves up tomorrow or the next day, we will join together to further track safety and end horse slaughter in honor of your name and undying spirit.

People With The Last Name Barbaro: These people have the last name Barbaro. They may also fall into other categories.

Example (this person is also a Poet Laureate):

Do not stand at my grave and weep;I am not there. I do not sleep.
I am a thousand winds that blow.
I am the diamond glints on snow.
I am the sunlight on ripened grain.
I am the gentle autumn’s rain.
When you awaken in the morning’s hush
I am the swift uplifting rush
of quiet birds in circled flight.
I am the soft stars that shine at night.
Do not stand at my grave and cry;
I am not there, I did not die.
I am BARBARO…
Be Free Brave Colt…Be Free…
Native American Prayer

Posted by: Laurie A. Barbaro at January 29, 2007 10:50 PM

Long Timers, First Timers: These are people who claim to have been visiting the Barbaro messageboard since he was injured in the Preakness in May, but are just posting now, after his death. They are pejoratively called Unbelievers by some, since they did not register their love of Barbaro on the site until after he was dead…

Blarbaro Blovers: These are black people that like Barbaro. (And here is the referent.)…

Children of Barbaro: These people believe Barbaro was put here on this earth “for a reason.” Some go even far enough to say he’s a prophet from Jesus himself, or he is a human being — or an “old soul” — reincarnated in a horse’s body. There has been little talk of Barbaro rising on the third day, but wait until tomorrow.

Example:

I do think that on some level Barbaro did know, in his animal way, what he was about. I think he is an old soul who came here for a reason to help other animals especially horses. He did his job and now he’s off to other matters. An evolved soul in a horse’s body. We responded to that, we “got” it, that this wasn’t just a horse. We joined him in his mission, now he’s gone and we can carry it through to finality.

Here is an excerpt of Fare Thee Well by Indigo Girls:
[Snip. You can thank me later. —ed.]

People Who Write Fan Fiction About Barbaro’s Death: There’s only one person in this group, but she deserves her own entry. Harriette Brillianthawk, from Lexington, wrote fan fiction about Barbaro’s death.

[ed. note: snipped to spare you. Seriously, you owe me]

Barbaro Himself: One person, Cheryl Jones, writes in the voice of Barbaro. Many posters are very happy with her writing as Barbaro. Jones assumes that although the horse has acquired a human brain and the ability to think and talk, his lack of opposable thumbs make it rather hard for him to type. He also doesn’t have spellcheck.

Example (this elicited several responses saying it made people cry):

hay its me im in hevvin now its beyoooooooooootiful i can seee yuo lissen for me ill see yuo agin love eech uthur be nise to eech uthur save horsssesss say prayers thankyew for lovin me so muchlove bArbaro

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quiz: which Edgar Allan Poe poem are you?

Not a whole lot to choose from in this quiz, but what the hell…it’s Shebeen Club day, I’ve got two job applications and a report do to before I go to bed, and I’m running around like a raven with my tiny birdie teeth ripped out. That’s a doubly-obscure reference, for those of you who think Poe is a waiflike Nineties singer.

You scored as Annabel Lee. Virginia Eliza Clemm Poe was dubbed as Lenore, Annabel Lee, and others in her husbands poems. She was his child bride who died when Poe was 38. He died two years later. this poem shows that love has an extreme importance to you, and even if that love stops, it never dies.

Annabel Lee
94%
The Sleeper
69%
The Raven
56%

Which Edgar Allan Poe poem are you?
created with QuizFarm.com

the most improbable meme in the world soldiers on

Zounds!

From raincoaster to Archie…from Archie to Metro…the madness marches, tagless. Is there no end to this insanity? No abbreviation of this alliteration? Nay, not so but constant consonance.

SriusLEE, had I known Metro‘s favorite Shakespearian play was Macbeth, I’d have hesitated longer before accepting his hospitality. Truly, Lord and Lady Macbeth stand as a shining and eternal example of all that a host and hostess should not be. But I went anyway: if he’d only told me they had no gin, that woulda been a dealbreaker.

A sliver of MacMetro‘s elegant, piercing, and tearjerking, if unhyperlinked, contribution:

Is this a blogger that I see before me,
The keyboard t’wards mine hands? Ah, now I click thee.
I posted thee, and yet I see thee still,
Art thou froze, lousy server? Not sensible
To mine heart’s broken cries? Or is this but
A pausing at the node, a short delay?
Originating from the crowded cable?
I see thee yet, in form the same
As t’other window that I now do open.
Thou mock’st my labours of an hour ago,
And the environment I blog in.
Mine fingers drum upon the veneer’d desktop
But answer comes there none, I see thee still,
Thy circling logo saith “‘Tis being published”
Yet ’tis not so, I trow. There’s no such thing!
It is the fruit of hours that hath gone
From my account.

Of course, it’s his own fault for not being on WordPress.