dick will make you slap somebody

And we’re not talking Cheney.

This is public access tv host Alexyss K. Tylor discussing vagina power and penis addiction with her mother.

Seriously, would YOU talk to your mother like that? If I did, my mother would take notes!

Uh, this is really, really NSFW. Duh.

Lessons learned in this episode:
(Read AFTER you watch the video!)

– If the man ain’t comin’, he gonna be goin’ somewhere else, puttin’ his penis in someone else.

– A lot of women will laugh and talk about a man if his penis is small.

– Just because a man is in love with your vagina doesn’t mean he’s in love with you.

– A lot of us get caught up on the dick.

– Dick will make you slap somebody.

– The penis is a heat-seeking missile, like a rocket. Information is encoded in it making it do what it do.

– Men launch their penis up in the vaginal canal. As a woman relaxes and breathes and sits on that penis and rock and move and rotate and find her rhythm and go up and down and back and forth and around in a circle, she starts getting her groove back.

– When the parts of penis hit them vagina walls, harmonizing and making them sing, a woman feels like she’s in church jumping and shouting.

– Dick’ll make you lose control.

Well, he will if you ask him nicely. And then you can slap him; he likes it that way.

But seriously, what kinda church does this woman go to? I think I saw an Emmanuelle movie like that once…

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quiz: which evil criminal are you?

Oh great. Fine. Jeez, I was hoping for Castro. Or FDR. What a letdown.

Sorry, Japan!

Congratulations, you’re President Harry S. Truman!

Due to the death of President Roosevelt, you became President of the United States of America on April 12th, 1945 – just at the tail end of World War Two. Japan had offered a surrender in January, and once you were in power, attempted again in May. In July, they offered surrender at least six times.

In August, against Roosevelt’s known wishes and the wishes of many of your advisors, you dropped an atomic bomb on the Japanese city Hiroshima, and another one on Nagasaki. Literally hundreds of thousands of innocent civilians died; many, many more suffered horrible sicknesses from the radiation. As Eisenhower put it: “the Japanese were ready to surrender and it wasn’t necessary to hit them with that awful thing.”

If you wish, you can proudly tell the world that you unnecessarily levelled an entire population with the following fine graphic:

I am Truman.

Which Evil Criminal are You?
A Rum and Monkey crime.

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the open source resistance meeting: edited footage

Whaaaaaaaa! Why does LA have all the cool resistance meetings? They don’t have any actual resisters down there in the first place! Tell that Reznor to get his sorry ass up here to the Republic of East Vancouver like, now, or I’ll sic Greenpeace on him. He’ll get his butt Birkenstomped!

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David Halberstam’s last speech

David Halberstam in Vietnam 

From, of all places, Business Week (via Gawker) we present the last speech of David Halberstam, greatest journalist of his generation and one of the immortals in a field which was pioneered by other lightweights like Jonathan Swift and Voltaire. I can’t say it any better than Business Week did, so let’s go to the article:

History, after all, was a favorite theme of this lion of American journalism. In 1955, after graduating from Harvard, Halberstam took a job at The Daily Times Leader in West Point, Miss., because he thought it would provide him an opportunity to write about race. When that didn’t work out as he had planned, Halberstam hitchhiked up to Nashville and put in an application at The Tennessean.

There, he wrote about race with a vengeance. In 1960, The New York Times lured him away. In 1964, when Halberstam was 30, he and Malcolm Browne of the Associated Press won Pulitzers for their coverage of the Vietnam War and the overthrow of the Saigon regime.

In 1967, Halberstam quit daily journalism and began writing books. Over the next 40 years he wrote 21 books covering such topics as foreign policy, civil rights, business, and sports. His 1973 classic about the Vietnam War, The Best and the Brightest, described how and why the “ablest men to serve in the government this century” turned out to be “architects of the greatest American tragedy since the Civil War.”

In 1994, The Reckoning addressed the Japanese challenge to American automakers. And in 2000 The Powers that Be tackled the rise of the American media. Halberstam’s 21st book, The Coldest Winter, a look back at the Korean War, will be released this fall. “I think it’s my best work,” he said in his Apr. 21 speech.

transcript here

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quote o’ the day: freedom of speech

Ground zero flag 

Stolen from Popbitch, here is Mark Cuban, for whom I have decidedly mixed admiration, discussing his decision to fund the distribution of Loose Change, a 9/11 conspiracy film in whose central premise he does not believe.

“I don’t believe the movie. Not at all. But I do believe that lies in the shadows are far more dangerous than lies you can confront and refute.”

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