Now that Albus Dumbledore has been thrust out of the closet, brutally outed live onstage at Carnegie Hall (surely every closety fellow’s worst nightmare, especially if the ghost of Judy is watching) it seems the ripple effect is rocking not a few boats in the world of children’s entertainment.

One that’s particularly rocky is the Transformer di Tutti Transformers, Optimus Prime. A word of warning: the following video contains cringe-inducing self-doubt, blindingly obvious truths unacknowledged, and a narcissistic self-absorption entirely at odds with a typical childhood perception of the hitherto entirely macho Opti. Click at own risk…to your own childhood dreams, and the thinnest closet door in the whole flimsy Dream Factory.

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