Yes, you read that right. Authentic Klingon Bellydance Music.
From their YouTube description:
Deserae dancing to an excerpt of the Shyriiwook Bellydance tune, “Muaarga” (Peace), as performed by the il Troubadore Klingon Music Project at the Viaduct Theater in Chicago (3 August 2012).
The Klingon Music Project is a real thing, as apparently is Deserae the bellydancing Wookiee and now they are both going viral. What can I say? She’s got the nous if not the Nad’s
Anonymous Investigation
Well, I TOLD you I was connected.
I just maybe didn’t know how connected.
Turns out one of my Twitter pals is the Supreme Great Leader-President Baby Daddy of Anonymous. No. Of the whole interwebz.
FACT.
For proof, just listen to this little drive-by he pulls on a couple of rubes who think they’re safe behind the cover of their own laptops. They’ve been BACKTRACED!
JAN: Just Act, Naturally
Just feast your starvéd eyes on this vision of natural, spontaneous loveliness. She is Ja,n: Just Act, Naturally; she used to be called Jan: Just Act Naturally, but she changed it because…reasons. And she has a Tumblr.
Would it come as a total shock to you that she teaches acting? Look at her: it was either that or interpretive healing dance.
Emmy Speech Master Class Announcement!
My acting master class is dedicated to the most important performance of an actor’s career: the Emmy Awards acceptance speech.
My much sought-after class is back by popular demand!
Meets twice weekly for four weeks. Cost: $899.00. Begins October 5th. Cash only, no personal checks.
To register, email JAN.JustActNaturally@gmail.com and tell me why you want to be in the class. Admission is based on strength of essay and knowledge of my work.
You can’t have EMMY without EM-ME!
Well, who wouldn’t want to take that workshop? Careful, no stampeding: the line forms on the left. “By popular demand,” yeah, I’ve used that one myself!
But who would spend that kind of money without taking a careful look and doing due diligence and other alliterative investigative thingies. So let us go deep inside the Emmy Speech Master Class and see the hidden truth about delivering a speech in full “I WANT TO LIVE” mode while at the same time remembering to thank your lawyer.
Invest in your future! You never know when you’ll need the assistance of a grateful lawyer.
As someone on Twitter said, “Every day I’m not Parker Posey is a failure.”
Barrett Brown Busted
Well, it had to happen. Everybody’s favorite/least favorite Anon/talking head/fameball Barrett Brown once again drew the attention of law enforcement. Being a very 21st Century character, he was half-naked, seemingly baked, and on video when it all went down.
Here is that video.
Full report will be up tomorrow on the Daily Dot. You’re welcome.
EDIT: it’s up now. Barrett Brown Anonymous hacker, arested.
Worship Cthulhu
Welcome to Sunday. Sunday is, quite obviously, the most important day of the week.
It is the day the restaurants close.
In an age of over-adequate labour supplies and chefs, sous chefs, and assistant-sub-sous chefs, there can, of course, be only one reason for EVERY FUCKING RESTAURANT I WANT TO GO TO being closed on a Sunday. TWICE IN A ROW.
Everyone on staff has gone off to worship.
Cthulhu worship
For those of you picturing neat rows of Episcopalian pews filled with shiny, freshly-scrubbed food and beverage staffer faces, allow me to shatter your dreams now. Think back to the last time you were at a good restaurant. The bartender, the waitstaff, the chef, the buspersons…did they look familiar from church? Did they even look like the type of person who goes to your church? I think not. I very much think not.
Yet, Sunday closures. Therefore, they must be Cthulhu worshipppers. It’s the only logical conclusion. When everything impossible has been eliminated whatever is left, however improbable, must be the truth, and you KNOW those people don’t show up at your church, now do they? So does it really matter what flavour of damnation they choose, whether it’s Lutheranism or SisterWifeism or Whateverism? No. But restaurant staffers, if they’re clever, know exactly how to play the angles. They know how to pick a winner and glom on to him like there’s no tomorrow, which is why Gordon Ramsay’s busboy is the same as he was twenty years ago, only with more scars.
Hence, Cthulhuism.
Cthulhu Worship for doubters
Now there’s a religion that pays out for your investment. The stars are going to align almost any day now and when they do, acolytes of the Cult of Cthulhu such as myself and all non-fast-food restaurant staffers are going to be on the top of the world, along with loathesome, towering monstrosities of which you’ve never dreamed in your worst nightmares. If you really, truly doubt that Cthulhuism has infiltrated, influenced, and irrevocably changed mainstream culture, listen up: has there not been a VAST increase in the number of women insisting on being eaten first?
I rest my case.
Now, let us sing, Cthulhian-hipster style.
The Fishy Song
Hey There Cthulhu
raincoaster 