the dreck of the Edmund Fitzgerald

The Dreck of the Edmund FitzgeraldOne of the greatest and most Canadian of all Canadian songs is Gordon Lightfoot‘s The Wreck of the Edmund Fitzgerald. Quite typically, it’s a story about a tragedy that actually took place in the US, affecting primarily Americans and it is more or less successfully attempting to pass as a Yank tune.

It’s the accent.

The ship went down in a storm on November 10, 1975. The ship had been in grave trouble, and in constant radio and visual contact with a fellow ship, for many hours when it vanished in a sudden squall. No trace of the ship has surfaced…until now.

Now, from exotic Conklin, Michigan comes news that bits of the wreckage have begun to wash up on the shores of Lake Superior. Well, 20 feet up from the water line, about as high as the waves were the night she went down. Unfortunately, the constituent parts of a Great Lakes shipping vessel are not exactly the glamorous New World equivalent of the gold of Spanish galleons.

Joe, an apple farmer from Conklin, Mich., was agate hunting with his family midway between Horse Shoe Harbor and High Rock Bay in Keweenaw County Friday when he discovered a life ring off to the side of a blown-down tree. The ring was found 100 feet from the waters edge, up a rocky slope, 20 feet higher than the lake level, three feet into the trees, Joe said. The ring was not visible until he went up the bank, he said. Thinking nothing of it, Joe rolled the ring down the hill to his daughters. Joe’s youngest daughter Elizabeth, 10, caught the ring in her hands and turned it over. What was printed on the ring, they had never imagined: Edmund Fitzgerald.

“It sent a chill down my spine,” Joe said. “It’s the last thing I thought it was.”

Lyrics over the jump: Continue reading

handy!

For the pathetically lazy, OCD loser in your life…and yes, we all have one. I would hope it’s relatively self-explanatory, even to them; if not, they’re too dumb to be having sex, even with themselves. They should not be encouraged.

masturbation kit

A fine product from lovehoneyUK, via Nerdapproved.

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Naughty Wet and Wild Swedish Beaver!

Beaver SwedishGranny got tail!

Naughty, naughty beaver! Keep your tail away from innocent Swedish grannies, be they never so wrinkled and asking for it.

Word comes from the banks of the Bottena that a wild Swedish beaver went crazy at the sight of an elderly swimmer and indulged in an orgy of slapping and physical violence.

“The beaver attacked the grandmother. She was seriously hit by the animal’s tail and received a number of bites and scratches,” an officer told the newspaper.

Surely not the first or last time that someone has regretted an encounter with really wild beaver.

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Mansinthe: booze o’ the day!

Marilyn MansonI’m not sure I’m up for this. Thanks (?) to Caddie, I’ve sampled actual absinthe, and I must say the experience was about as pleasurable as a fluoride treatment at the dentist‘s.

Now, apparently aware that there is essentially nothing you can do to make absinthe taste worse than it already does, Marilyn Manson is issuing his own brand of the noxious substance.

No word on who gets to “milk” him.

Now, if Trent Reznor wants to bottle his manjuice, I’ll take a case of it.

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what if…the Brontë sisters had a heavy metal band?

SpyStolen from the greatest magazine in the history of recorded thought, Spy, via the greatest blog based on blogging the best dead magazine in recorded thought in recorded thought, Ten Years Ago in Spy.

“What If the Brontë Sisters Had Been in a Heavy-Metal Band?”

[Wouldn’t they be Kittie?]

1826
Emily rejects ritual indoctrination in the domestic arts; vows to create a “towering wall of sounds.”
1842
Anne throws straw-poke bonnet into seething concert crowd at Albert Hall.
1849
Charlotte returns to public house to trash furniture and have sex with publican; locks manager, Mrs. Rochester, in attic.

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