Shebeen Club: Teeny Tome is Livin’ Large!

For immediate release: see also World’s Tiniest Press Release below

 World's tiniest press release

What: The Shebeen Club : Teeny Tome, Living Large!

When: 7-9pm, Tuesday, April 17 (3rd Tuesday of each month)

Where: The Shebeen, behind the Irish Heather, 217 Carrall Street in Gastown

Why: Celebrate Shebeen Alumnus Robert Chaplin‘s publication of the World’s Smallest Book: Teeny Ted from Turnip Town!

Who: Contact lorraine.murphy at gmail.com for more information

How(much)? $15 includes dinner and a drink

The Shebeen ClubThis Month: Teeny tomes loom large lately. This week, the literary world welcomed its smallest member, as nanoscientists Li Yang and Karen Kavanagh from Simon Fraser University, together with independent Vancouver publisher Robert Chaplin and author Malcolm Douglas Chaplin, presented their minimasterpiece: Teeny Ted from Turnip Town. At 0.07 by 0.10 millimetres, it’s so small you’d need an electron microscope to read it; at thirty pages, it’s still pretty substantial for a dream book about a turnip tale. Small but perfectly formed, this book has made headlines around the world.

The Shebeen Club will celebrate this ironically monumental moment with readings, door prizes and a writing challenge, all specially miniturized for the occasion. Dinner, however, will be oversized as usual at the Shebeen.

Dress code: miniskirts or skinny ties, but please, no thongs.

The Procedure: Sink into a warm velvet banquette and enjoy our programme: your basic meet-and-mingle from 7-7:30, followed by a riveting, yet brief presentation, followed by Q&A and then breaking up into casual groups for wandering, boozy reminiscences of the time you snubbed Jay McInerney in the airport. A fine dinner of bangers and mash or vegetarian pasta from the kitchen of the Irish Heather, plus one glass of wine, beer or pop are included in the $15.
For more information, contact: Lorraine Murphy, raincoaster media ltd www.shebeenclub.com or  lorraine.murphy at gmail.com

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size matters: real estate and roi

McMansionAccording to this veddy interesting article in Slate, the size of a CEO’s house may bear an inverse relationship to the performance of the company’s stock on his watch. If this proves to be true over the entire CEO sector, you can expect hysterical investors to drive Zillow to the top of the web, and Architectural Digest to become a hollow shell of its former self.

And George W. Bush to propose real estate offsets, wherein CEOs in monster McMansions get tax breaks for paying destitute Third Worlders to live eighteen to a room.

In a working paper titled “Where are the Shareholders’ Mansions?David Yermack of New York University and Crocker Liu of Arizona State wonder whether there is a relationship between CEO home-buying behavior and stock performance. (The title is a riff on the classic 1940 investment book Where Are the Customers’ Yachts?.) In doing so, the two academics are invading one of the last preserves of executive privacy, and we should all be very grateful! …

Yermack and Liu insist there’s a solid academic reason to look through the keyholes. They want to figure out if a mansion purchase signals commitment or cashing out. A CEO who buys a 12,000-square-foot mansion could be showing his intent to stay for the long haul and to bust his butt so that he’ll have the cash to pay off the huge mortgage. In which case, you’d expect stocks of the companies where the CEO just bought an obscenely large house to thrive. Buy!

Or the purchase of an absurdly large house could signal entrenchment: The CEO is too comfortable with his position and his personal finances. He has made so much money that he can’t really be bothered with running the company. And the willingness to spend gazillions on a house—not to mention the furnishings, artwork, and baubles to fill it—betokens a general inattentiveness to costs. In which case, you’d expect stocks of the companies where the CEO just bought an obscenely large house to fare poorly. Sell!

Especially if, like me, you know that those CEOs often bought those houses with company-financed and company-guaranteed loans that are contractually obligated to be company-forgiven when the CEO leaves said company for whatever reason including stunning incompetence, mendacity, or criminality.

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pic o’ the day: Dubai bridal show

from the Guardian, who have thankfully kilt that bloody animated slide show that was always mucking up my computer. Funny how Western wedding dresses look in the Middle East and parts of Asia. In my opinion, particularly looking at this example, the brides could do a LOT better.

Dubai Bridal Show

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Calls for Cthulhu #3: Cthuaraoke

Heeeeeee’s back! Everyone’s favorite Elder God is standing by to take your calls now on that smash hit show, Calls for Cthulhu! Call 1-800-SOL-EATR or email cthulhu.hotstud1413 at gmail.com now!

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beaver shots: hairy robot beaver!

As you all know, we at the ol’ raincoaster blog pride ourselves on service journalism, particularly along the beaver lines, and this should service you right up. This incredible furry cyborg beaver is so hot it would make anyone feel inadequate. I mean, check it out:

Specs:
Intel Core 2 Duo processor – T7200 2.00 GHz 667 4MB 1.0375–1.3V
160G Hard drive – laptop drive
1G RAM – NBM 1G|PATRIOT DII667 PSD21G6672S R
Motherboard: AOpen Mini ITX A-I945GTT-VFA (RoHS) with external power supply
Panasonic UJ-85J 8X Slim DVD Burner
Tornado 80mm fan – ACCES FAN|80X38 3/4PTD8038H VTTD RT

She said “laptop.” Heh, heh. “External power supply” eh? Yeah, that’s probably just a coded expression for “secretly fucking the boss.” Like, if she talked him into buying Microsoft products.

Oh hey, I think we may have figured out who the manufacturer is. Like I said, this thing is intimidating! It would make anybody go micr…well, never mind.

Pictures and a 40-pic slideshow of the naked computerized beaver over the jump. Brace yourself; it’s hairy! Thanks to judyb12 for passing along this little gem.

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