Category Archives: Weird

Lord Krishna and the Milkmaids

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From the Archive
                  Wednesday, January 07, 2004

Krishna and the milkmaids

I read The Life of Pi recently, and loved it, but one story in particular has struck me. It just perfectly parallels one of the ongoing Inet dramas around. So here is the story.

                  Lord Krishna was a little bored with hanging out his usual haunts, being godlike, so he brainstormed and thought now what would be really, really different from being a god? I KNOW!
                  Being a cowherd! and indeed, it is hard to disagree, so being Krishna and all, he just went ahead and turned himself into a cowherd. Nowadays I’m sure he’d just go into a chat room and try to be cowherd like, but that was back then, okay?

                  So the god Krishna was a cowherd. Bully for him. Now, there wasn’t much to do as a cowherd. Watch the cows, sure, but you would not believe how fast that gets tired. And back then they had no honky-tonk bars. So what did Krishna do? Well Krishna, like many gods, has a sharp eye for a curvy mortal. What do cows have in terms of support staff, other than cowherds? They have milkmaids, my dear. And these were some good-looking milkmaids, too. And horny. And Krishna was like WooHoo!!! PARTY!!!

                  Every night he would sign on…I mean go out to the woods and dance with the milkmaids. He was a god, there was enough of him to go around. His abundance was such that there was enough of him to dance with all the milkmaids at once, and they were happy and Krishna was having a blast. This state of affairs continued for quite some time, and Krishna was by far the most popular cowherd around, rumours about his background notwithstanding, I think it was the dancing that made him so popular. But then, one night as the dance reached its height each girl felt, in her heart of hearts, as if he were dancing with her and her alone.

     At that moment, he vanished forever.

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I got a raise!

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Well, theoretically I did. If you know me at all you know that for me, money generally exists on the theoretical plane rather than the material one.

In any case, I went from this:


My blog is worth $57,583.08.
How much is your blog worth?

to this:


My blog is worth $90,326.40.
How much is your blog worth?

Now, if I just knew a bank that would give me a loan against equity…

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international boundaries

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two solitudes 

Us Canuckistanis like to think of ourselves as unprejudiced people. This is, after all, the country to which 27,000 Americans fled before slavery was finally outlawed (1898 in New Jersey, fun fact!) in the United States. This is a country born of many cultures, a country in which the Aboriginal Peoples constitute probably the third most powerful political force (fourth if you count graft). A country with two official languages, a country where the Multiculturalism portfolio is one of the most powerful and most coveted on Parliament Hill.

So when we heard of a racist assault on a burqa-clad pedestrian, we were, naturally and as one, outraged. The loathesome bigot and all his descendants for ten generations were cursed by a for-once-united British Columbia.

Of course I put my own two cents adjusted for inflation in:

“Got to be an American!” I said.

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this is everything

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from Exploding Dog.

this IS everything. this is EVERYTHING.

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and a big hand for Darth Vader…

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Star Wars‘s climactic battle scene, as reinterpreted by a troupe of … human hands. Be sure to stay tuned right till the finale; it’s delightfully glorious and bloody. Stolen from Japanprobe, a good daily source of weirdness with an Eastern flavour.

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