from Anton Sledgehammer, who are, if I am any judge of landscape, a Vancouver organization. They could probably sell this thing at Art Knapp’s for twice what they’re asking.
Category Archives: Weird
the one crime I’ll never be arrested for
According to the US Court of Appeals, driving with lotsa cash is against the law.
Let’s do a quick check of the raincoaster situation:
No driver’s license. No car. No money.
Yay, I’m immune!
from The Newspaper, via Fark.
A federal appeals court ruled yesterday that if a motorist is carrying large sums of money, it is automatically subject to confiscation. In the case entitled, “United States of America v. $124,700 in U.S. Currency,” the U.S. Court of Appeals for the Eighth Circuit took that amount of cash away from Emiliano Gomez Gonzolez, a man with a “lack of significant criminal history” neither accused nor convicted of any crime.
On May 28, 2003, a Nebraska state trooper signaled
Gonzolez to pull over his rented Ford Taurus on Interstate 80. The trooper intended to issue a speeding ticket, but noticed the Gonzolez‘s name was not on the rental contract. The trooper then proceeded to question Gonzolez — who did not speak English well — and search the car. The trooper found a cooler containing $124,700 in cash, which he confiscated. A trained drug sniffing dog barked at the rental car and the cash. For the police, this was all the evidence needed to establish a drug crime that allows the force to keep the seized money.
Associates of Gonzolez testified in court that they had pooled their life savings to purchase a refrigerated truck to start a produce business. Gonzolez flew on a one-way ticket to Chicago to buy a truck, but it had sold by the time he had arrived. Without a credit card of his own, he had a third-party rent one for him. Gonzolez hid the money in a cooler to keep it from being noticed and stolen. He was scared when the troopers began questioning him about it. There was no evidence disputing Gonzolez‘s story.
Yesterday the Eighth Circuit summarily dismissed Gonzolez‘s story. It overturned a lower court ruling that had found no evidence of drug activity, stating, “We respectfully disagree and reach a different conclusion… Possession of a large sum of cash is ‘strong evidence’ of a connection to drug activity.”
Judge Donald Lay found the majority’s reasoning faulty and issued a strong dissent.
“Notwithstanding the fact that claimants seemingly suspicious activities were reasoned away with plausible, and thus presumptively trustworthy, explanations which the government failed to contradict or rebut, I note that no drugs, drug paraphernalia, or drug records were recovered in connection with the seized money,” Judge Lay wrote. “There is no evidence claimants were ever convicted of any drug-related crime, nor is there any indication the manner in which the currency was bundled was indicative of
drug use or distribution.”“Finally, the mere fact that the canine alerted officers to the presence of drug residue in a rental car, no doubt driven by dozens, perhaps scores, of patrons during the course of a given year, coupled with the fact that the alert came from the same location where the currency was discovered, does little to connect the money to a controlled substance offense,” Judge Lay Concluded.
The full text of the ruling is available in a 36k PDF file at the source link below.
Source:
US v. $124,700 (US Court of Appeals, Eighth Circuit, 8/19/2006)
hyperbole o’ the day: Fark it out, bitch!
You really do have to admire the Farkers. If it were not for the divine glory that pours from their keyboards, would anyone ever have looked at this?
The worst imaginable cover of Europe’s The Final Countdown – this makes you pray for nuclear armageddon just to burn the tears of laughter off your face. I’m not kidding.
And seriously, he was not kidding.
impersonating a journalist is a crime…somebody better tell Fox News!
So there’s this kid. He loves the Mets. Really, doesn’t everyone? But he loves them so much he forged an NBC employee card and got a press pass so he could get into Shea Stadium to watch them play.
And now he’s in the pokey.
Police arrested the 18-year-old Leli Friday night at Shea just before the start of the New York Mets-Colorado Rockies game and charged him with impersonating a journalist, the Queens District Attorney announced Saturday…
Leli was also charged with criminal possession of a forged instrument, falsifying business records, larceny, criminal possession of stolen property, criminal impersonation and criminal trespass.
He was arraigned Saturday in Queens Criminal Court and released on his own recognizance.
Leli was scheduled to return to court on Sept. 27. He faces up to seven years in prison if he’s convicted.
Man, not even George Will loves it that much!
Patriot Pampies vs the Dark Stain of Valour
You know you remember that song (and probably that movie). But you don’t know the latest version.
Let’s go to Jesus’ General and let him explain to our tender ears the background on Ofjoshua‘s great invention, Patriot Pampies.
Our Lady of the Concentration Camps, Michelle Malkin
Hugh Hewitt, Townhall
Bob Owens, Confederate Yankee
Pamela, Atlas Shrugs
Biggus Dickus, Blue Crab Boulevard
Ace, Ace of Spades HQ
Allahpundit, Hot AirDear fellow Fighting Keyboarders,
After seeing our reactions to the capture of various vaseline-wielding senior citizens and brown people in ninja costumes, my wife, Ofjoshua, suggested that we might consider creating a product that would prevent us from soiling our pants. She even came up with a name for it, “Patriot Pampies.”
Although I promised I’d run it by all of you, I don’t think much of the idea, myself. I’m not ashamed of the sudden incontinence I experience when I see a swarthy person. The dark stain that radiates from my crotch isn’t an external display of fear. It’s a warning symbol to all around me that I’ve spotted a potential terrorist and will report him or her to the State Security Apparatus the moment I stop shaking enough to dial my cellphone.
I like to think of it as a kind of self-awarded medal, a “Dark Stain of Valor” or “DSV” if you will. It’s a commendation that almost anyone, no matter their class, can obtain. Just as Sen. Specter wore it deservedly and proudly when he attempted to pass his warrantless wiretap legislation, so did Allahpundit when he risked a coronary reporting on the “Ahmadinejad virus” and the dangers of petroleum jelly. Their respective stations in life made no difference. Each earned the DSV solely on his own merit.
I guess, I’m not really giving Ofjoshua‘s idea a fair hearing. I suppose there are advantages to wearing Patriot Pampies. They’d save us a little in laundering costs and the French would stop laughing while pointing to our crotches (although I still get a lot of that even when I haven’t soiled myself).
So what do you think? Would you buy Patriot Pampies if they were available?
Or would you rather wear your Dark Stain of Valor, proudly, like me?
Heterosexually yours,Gen. JC Christian, patriot
So much for background. I think these things would sell like hotcakes, myself! Since everything in America eventually gets super-sized, including the children, it was inevitable that the sanitary pad was destined for bigger and … uh … bigger things.
Now if only I could get some of them on that CC list to try the tampons, we’d really be onto something.
Particularly if they put them in their mouths.
In any case, Corrente has taken inspiration from the General’s call for DSV-wearing patriots to stand up and be counted. And he’s set it to music, of which we present a slice here.
Stain alive, people, stain alive.
Pissing Our Pants
(sung to the tune of “Staying Alive”)Well, you can tell by the way I stain my pants
I’m a patriot: just read my rants
Muslims make me want to hiss, when they come at me
I start to piss
And now it’s airtight, it’s inside
I have hung onto my pride
We just want to all be safe
But when I walk I tend to chafeWhen you are so frightened the tension is quite heightened
You’re pissing your pants, pissing your pants
Feel the bladder leakin’, everybody freakin’
And we’re pissing our pants, pissing our pants
Ah, ha, ha, ha, pissing our pants, pissing our pants
Ah, ha, ha, ha, pissing our pants…Well now, I get moist and I get dry
Sometimes in back I “bake a pie”
My body sometimes like to twist
I’m leakin’ from every orifice
And now it’s airtight, it’s inside
I have hung onto my pride
We just want to all be safe
But when I walk I tend to chafeSaw a brown person. Somebody help me.
Somebody help me, yeah
Saw a brown person. Somebody help me.
Somebody help me, yea. Pissing my pants.
Brings a tear to the eye, don’t it?
raincoaster 