The Spiders from … Antarctica!

Of the many and varied delightful creatures which enliven the drear, dark depths, there are perhaps more mysteries than certainties. From time to time a trawler will snag something huge, something strange, something unspeakable; briefly it surfaces on Ananova or Reuters, only to be tossed back into the void, too disturbing for true contemplation.

We live on a placid isle of ignorance, amidst black seas of chaos,
and it is not meant that we should voyage far
.

Tunicates on the ocean floor

Giant sea creatures, including sea spiders the size of dinner plates and
jellyfish with six-metre long tentacles, have been found by Australian scientists in the deep waters around Antarctica.

Huge worms and giant crustaceans have been filmed during an expedition which trawled the floor of the Southern Ocean almost a mile below the surface. Many of the animals could not be identified and are to be sent to labs, possibly to be classed as newly discovered species…

So it is with these strange creatures recently spotted in the subsurface valley depths of the great Antarctic Mountains of Madness. Where shoggoths breed, man was never meant to tread. I wouldn’t want to be this videographer once they find out their secrets have been exposed. Philipa passed the footage along to me, and I put it out to the public as a way of saying, “Look. See what wonders, what horrific marvels our world contains. These living anomalies share our planet, dwelling beneath the deceptively peaceful surface of the Antarctic Ocean, crawling and thrashing, killing and breeding all unsuspected in the Stygian, turbid void beneath us…”

We live in Fortean times indeed.

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Not Abandoned abandons us

Freedom, so close and yet so far

I guess he’s still bitter about that whole “gelding” thing. Thoroughbreds are so sensitive!

In news that will delight fans of Walter Farley‘s classic Island Stallion books, a winning and winsome registered Thoroughbred racehorse called Not Abandoned has slipped the surly bonds of civilization and apparently either dematerialized entirely or joined a herd of wild brumbies in the Outback. Unfortunately for the brumby gene pool, the horse has long since been parted from his twin tickets to immortality, having been gelded as a colt. Still, I’m sure he’s an excellent conversationalist.

Australian authorities are also investigating the possibility of horse rustlers, although the market around Alice Springs for an internationally infamous seven year old gelding who can’t be raced (no papers) or sold would be less than millionaire-making; he’d be worth perhaps 35 cents per pound, meaning about $400.

I’m sure, however, that this case will be solved. Just as soon as OJ Simpson finds the real killers of Shergar.

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Pic o’ the day: Dragonfly

Dragonfly with Dew

by Martin Amm, via Neatorama

D’oe!

Audrey Hepburn and her pet deerDon’t you just hate it when you’re minding your own business, just taking your deer out for a walk, and suddenly one little thing sets off the mob and things go all Quentin Tarantino on you? Someone call a recently-reemployed screenwriter and get them on this right away: it’s a soon-to-be-classic, can’t-fail romcom featuring Hayden Panettiere as the ditsy socialite India Vanderhoof and Michael Cera as Fred Fogg, the waiter with a heart of gold, starring in the guaranteed worldwide box office smash Bringing Up Bambi!

All the way from Winston-Salem, North Carolina:

Witnesses eating lunch Sunday at TJ’s Deli in Winston-Salem were startled when they said a woman walking a pet deer on a leash lost control of the animal, causing it to break through a window and run amok through the restaurant’s dining room…

The deer, which witnesses described as a 120 to 140-pound doe, finally ran through the kitchen and out the back door.

No one was injured in the melee, and there’s no word on why the woman had the deer or if charges would be filed against her.”We might add deer jerky (to the menu),” Fogg said laughing

Who should I call about this…Pixar? Steve, Steve, we need to talk.

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Creepy Crawlie o’ the Day

Say hello to the Olm salamander. Although this lovely amphibious creature lives only in caves underground, it reminds me of the fabled and 100% aquatic Tully Monster of Illinois.

Olm Salamander

This delightful creature is the deadliest underground predator in the entire nation of Slovenia. Also known as the human fish for its eerie resemblance to a scrawny, pale person, the Olm salamander can live to 100 and go ten years without eating, two more things it has in common with the Olsen Twins.

Mud puppy