aussie fondles snake in the dark

Crikey!“Nothing new there,” you’re thinking, rightly enough. Too right, mate.

But he was fondling it because he thought it was a lizard.

Oh, that’s different then.

A Sydney holidaymaker has received two doses of antivenom following five bites from the world’s second-most deadliest [sic] snake, an NRMA CareFlight spokesman says.

As Fark has the “Florida” tag, I’m thinking of starting an “Aussies playing with deadly wildlife” tag, for lo, we find we are making reference to such events with great regularity.

Now, it’s possible as Metro claims that the continent has been set up, PR-wise, and that people all around the world handle deadly creatures with just as much frequency, intimacy, and cluelessness, but the evidence is against it.

No, my theory is that we interact with wildlife in ways which eloquently, if inadvertently, express our national characters.

In Australia, they make a grab for it and try to become pals; any woman who’s met an Aussie in a bar will understand the scenario. 

In Germany, they issue execution orders. Any Jew…nah, I’ll leave that joke alone.

Here in Canada when we see wildlife we don’t mess around; we call the government. Anyone…seriously, anyone who’s been to Canada should recognize this as the default procedure, regardless of the circumstances.

Dudley, can we talk? Even Horse is embarassed.

Canadian Content vid: Lorne Michaels terrific with beaver

That’ll teach him. Everybody knows to stay away from those shrill, self-centred beavers; they’re nothing but trouble. Even if they allow you to bill yourself as “the tall, good-looking one.”

With bonus coverage of Canada’s national tragedy: Dutch Puck Disease.

when giant octopus attack Goonies!

Stole this from Cracked‘s piece on Most Absurd Deleted Scenes of All Time. Definitely worth it for the Steve Carrell, not to mention Jay (of “and Silent Bob“) scarifying a couple of hookers into giving up the profession. via Defamer.

Movie: The Goonies
Director: Richard Donner
Why this scene was deleted: Because having a giant killer octopus appear in the final act of a movie that, up to that point, had at least pretended to exist in the real world, makes absolutely no fucking sense. If Donner had ended his next film, Lethal Weapon, by having Pterodactyl fly out of the sky and attack Riggs and Murtaugh, it wouldn’t have been any less nonsensical. [raincoaster knows, as the editors of Cracked apparently do not, that Octopi of this size do, in fact, exist]

Also, by cutting the infamous octopus scene and leaving in Data’s line later in the movie that confusingly refers to it (“The octopus was very scary!”), Donner was able to push his apparent belief that Asians are prone to exaggeration and not to be trusted, an agenda he was able to further explore in Lethal Weapon 4, quite possibly the most racist movie ever made.

Why this scene was ever shot: Probably because some old college buddy of Donner’s was on the payroll as “Unit Manager, Octopus Effects,” and kept nagging the director and bringing up “all those times I bailed your ass out in the Quad” until Donner finally sighed and said, “Alright, fuck it. Let’s shoot the ‘pus.”

photo o’ the day: shadowcamels

from National Geographic, via Raj. Look closely, or you’ll miss the actual camels.

Shadowcamels

Operation Global Media Domination: not goodbye, but au revoir

TIAand here I am again!

Thankfully, it appears that none of you particularly missed me. Hits took a slight dip on Friday, as they always do, but you came back like swallows to Capistrano or, more likely, alcoholics to the saloon, on Sunday. For this I can thank Mark FoleyMark Foley, Mark Foley, Mark Foley, Mark Foley, the trailer for 300, Ohio Northern University, the FW 109, Colin McEnroe’s Blogging On class at Trinity College in Hartford, CT, Technorati‘s front page (finally broke the top 30,000!), and Steve Irwin, who is still dead at 44.

Note, if you will, that my post about Foley‘s IM transcripts, which quotes from and links to ABC‘s complete transcript, actually outranks the ABC post it refers to in searches on ABC.com.

I don’t know what WordPress is drinking, but I’ll have one!