Well, this is interesting. Okay, it’s not: it’s just weird and hilarious, both inadvertently AND advertently. And filthy.
So you know why it’s here.
via Irina Slutsky
Category Archives: Zeta Males
Furniture Sex: a cultural phenomenon whose time has come
It was Lisanti that started it, on Twitter. Cultural phenomena used to start in Rome and were carried, over the course of years, to the outer reaches of Europe, Africa and the Middle East. Now they start on Twitter.
Sic transit Gloria I didn’t know Gloria took public transit, now where was I?
Oh yes, talking about decadence and cultural devolution and short attention spans. And Twits. Tweets. Whatevers.
@lianamaeby Have you considered the possibility that Jason Schwartzman is fucking atop your building’s dryer?
He sez. And he goes on, all unashamed-like:
It occurred to me that some of you may not be interested in who might be fucking atop @lianamaeby dryer.But I say dryer-humping is beautiful.
It is at this point that I recall hazily that it was on Lisanti‘s watch that Defamer posted the notorious Peer Pressure video. Peer Pressure? you ask, or you do if you’re not too undercaffeinated to recognize a cue when you see one. Peer Pressure, the glorious YouTube record of the Pathetic, Skeezy, Gangsta-Lite, Ottoman Gang-Banging Empire.
This:
Previously, of course, there was the brain-scarring Chachi Loves Couches incident, of which we shall not speak. It is still too painful.
And where has it gone from there? From the obviously diseased mind of a broken and twisted blogger, cast aside by Technorati and wandering now in the wilds of Tumblr, where the tumblrweeds are all following one another. Also: size queen!
- China Vagina
Which he stole from BrianVan.
But now the meme (I said meme; shoot me if you must) has broken free of its moorings and is careening about the memosphere, infecting all in its path. First Silverstar, then Az:
Where will it end???
Boston?
- White Plastic Chairs Mating
Even the Germans?
- you should see his easy chair
Trend Alert: Ghost Whipping!
Ghost riding: SO 2007! The new hotness: Ghost Whipping.
I’m not sure where the whipping comes into things, as there are no apparent signs of ghost abuse in the video; perhaps it refers to what your underwear does under these conditions?
Raj can gloat all he wants about his pimped-out ride, but does he have a sun roof? Sun floor? Sun doors? Sun hood?
You know my sweet ride is crazy insane, going walking pace hee-yah in da BIKE LANE!
Lyrics over the jump. Continue reading
Octopus Sex Man Gets Off
How’s THAT for a title?
Yes, Rodney Scott McLagan of Hobart, Australia, hereinafter and for the rest of his natural life at the very least known as Octopus Sex Man, has been released from custody with a $1500 fine and a suspended four-month sentence for possessing 31,000 images of pony, snake, dog, tiger and octopus porn.
“Without the opportunity for normal sexual relationships fantasy is often indulged. It also emerges from the report that you are particularly self-conscious about your teeth.”
It is reportedly the first case of British teeth being responsible for a shokushu goukan fetish. Still, better that than throwing him back to try to swim in the human gene pool; It’s polluted enough in those waters. The Zeta Male is (surprisingly, given his usual body composition) the very opposite of buoyant.
I suppose that’s why he likes the bottom-feeding octopus.
The Dream of the Fisherman's Wife
the Blogosphere works in mysterious ways
Operation Global Media Domination
Indeed, no sooner had I cried to the heavens with wailing and the rending of garments (well, they were slightly torn already, but surely that counts? Like, God wouldn’t be picky about placement in linear time, would he? Ya think a deity doesn’t have better things to do than fart around with continuity details? Puh-leez!) about the loss of my paid gig than the clouds parted (probably accompanied by the Red Sea, but I can’t tell from here…anybody got Google Earth?) the angels sang (NIN’s Year Zero
It’s a scary, only-virtually hedonistic place in there, Gizmodo: the kind of Xanadu that a Zeta Male imagines is heaven…imagines from the comfort of a Barcalounger in his mom’s basement. IE his mom’s basement, but with more stuff!
Anyway, I lost a job and, true to form, I whined. I mean, if I hadn’t whined you’d have had grounds to send in a missing person’s report, as I’d obviously have been abducted and replaced with some sort of replicant. Some pray, I whine. What can I say? The payout rate is better when I do it my way.
Fun blogging to re-commence in 24 minus n hours!
Which reminds me: for some reason I thought there was an underwear hook on this post…if it re-occurs to me, I’ll make an underwear-related post to explain. Gawd knows what it was, only it had something to do with doctors and Amy Winehouse.
raincoaster 