To be quite frank, it’s been quite some time since there was jizz or, in fact, anything but me, in my pants, unless someone’s gotten up to something I don’t know about in the laundry room.
White. Bright. Practically dewy with freshness, dated Monday, December 8 2008 (I quadruple-checked the year)(which the literal-minded will note was not even technically the case in my time zone when I encountered it) sitting there on my monitor for all the world as if it were a regular article waiting patiently to be read, with a perky, amusing author bio in the sidebar looking as normal as all get out.
TMN Contributing Writer Leslie Harpold is a writer and designer with a long list of publications she’s marred with her work. She is working on a novel and dreams alternately of an über urban or ultra rural future, as she is not one to do things by halves. After misspending her 20s in New York City, Leslie now lives in Grosse Pointe, Mich. She makes pie crust from scratch.
Only, it wasn’t.
Normal.
Leslie Harpold, you see, has been dead for exactly two years today. [thanks to Wendie for the correction; I had it at one year. Freakouts are so fresh!] I remember her death particularly, because for several years friends had been telling me how much I, the Christmas nut, would love her annual online Advent Calendar. Which I’m sure I would have, only by the time I finally clicked around to it December 14th of 2006, it was frozen at the 7th. Which date it has been frozen on ever since, because December 7th was the last full day she was alive. She was found by friends several days after her death, in part because of curiosity generated by the failure to update her famous Advent Calendar.
So, naturally, the appearance of a brand-new and highly chipper-sounding article by the aforesaid deceased, most particularly exactly two years after her death and seasonal at that, rather freaked me out.
If you think that title is far-fetched, you should see some of the streetwalkers around here. Oft, and truly, has it been said, Holy Jeebus, that raincoaster can whore it out like nobody’s business! And oft am I questioned on the results thereof. And, truly, answering is good for hits so here we go again! Cat and Bunk, over in the popular Mummified Fairy Remains thread, were wondering:
rain– How ’bout an update on the stats for this whored out post? Maybe a screenshot of the graph? I’m willing to interpret it for Metro.
Those were actually comments number 1297 and 1298, respectively, but I’m too lazy to edit the code. Anyway, their wish is my command, so here are the stats with bonus graph for the Mummified Fairy Remains post.
Months and Years
J
F
M
A
M
J
J
A
S
O
N
D
Tot
07
717
1,537
945
3,212
3,543
3,309
5,047
3,145
5,432
26,887
08
8,962
6,641
4,548
4,638
6,998
4,228
5,063
4,516
3,223
6,569
3,703
1,293
60,382
Average per Day
J
F
M
A
M
J
J
A
S
O
N
D
Tot
07
24
50
32
104
114
110
163
105
175
98
08
289
229
147
155
226
141
163
146
107
212
123
186
177
and the graph, unfortunately, will have to wait till I figure out how to save it to a place I can use it on this machine. It’s so advanced I can hardly use the damn thing!
I don’t think I’ve ever seen someone whore a post out this much. I am impressed!