Is that a Little Red Book in your pocket, or are you just happy to see me?

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Just your typical Marxist-Leninist anti-revisionist woman

Just your typical Marxist-Leninist anti-revisionist woman

Happy May Day, Comrades!

I hope you all had a fabulous day sharing the fruits of your labour, throwing off the yoke of the capitalist oppressors, and getting your political freak on. We can all take a lesson from this young Comrade from the Cascadian city of San Francisco. When it comes to sharing the fruits of her loins (do girls have loins? not sure) with deserving and pure-hearted Comrades, she eschews the profit-ridden sex marketing machine known as Online Dating Sites and instead goes with a free listing on the website from Comrade Craig. If you’re inspired to answer her posting, please remember it’s not the size. It’s from each according to his ability.

Ready for kinky fun? – w4m – 23 (San Francisco)

age : 23 body : average height : 5’7″ (170cm) ethnicity : White politics : Marxist-Leninist status : single

I am an attractive Marxist-Leninist anti-revisionist woman who is totally dedicated to the building of a revolutionary cadre party to overthrow capitalism and imperialism. But I have a sexy side for which I would probably be denounced by my comrades if they knew about it. I am looking for a degenerate Trotskyite, anarchist, or a member of the revisionist Communist Party who accepts the concept of peaceful coexistence to put me in my place. Tie me up and recite passages from The Revolution Betrayed by the social-fascist Trotsky. Slap me around and call me an evil Stalinist. Make me get on my knees and accept your left-deviationist cock. I love petit-bourgeois intellectuals the most, because then it gets a little Fifty Shades of Red for me. This is all NSA and drama free.

See my details below. I am DDF. Normally I don’t do drugs because they are a symptom of a crumbling bourgeois society, but I am 420 friendly when it comes to this because I want to be corrupted by a hot ultra-leftist pot smoking degenerate pervert. I am so horny just thinking about it. Please no Maoists. And if you have only read the Communist Manifesto, no. I am not into FDCKs.

Spread them like you would class consciousness

Spread them like you would class consciousness

Raging Beaver Stops Traffic

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Wild Beaver on the attack

Wild Beaver on the attack

 

The quiet streets of Northern Canadian town Miramichi were terrorized recently by a roving, uncontrollable beaver, according to a recent story in the CBC.

“The damn thing was lost, it was going down the street. We didn’t do anything, we showed up and seen what it was,” said Sgt. Ed Arbeau from the Miramichi Police Force. Local resident Jim O’Neil realized quickly you don’t try and back up a wild beaver.

“Slapped [her] tail on the driveway, slapped [her] front feet on the ground. [S]He came on,” he said. “So I backed up to try it again and jeez [s]he got quite aggressive.”

Paradoxically for a wild beaver, “[S]He was camera shy.” Fans of Canadian wild beaver will note that this marks something of a departure from previous generations of beaver. Hmm, evolution in action?

Tony Blair Speaks Truth to Power!

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Tony Blair says How YOU doin?

Tony Blair says How YOU doin?

Here is My Imaginary Boytoy and also apparently Wendi Deng‘s, former British PM Tony Blair, aka bLIAR, speaking the absolute, literal truth for once in his goddam life, with a little help from remix artist Cassetteboy. The peace broker was risking all to deliver a desperate address to the hastily-gathered rebel alliance at the beating heart of the fabled Bloomberg empire, its London HQ. Oh, who am I kidding? He was there for the paycheck.

 

Armed Chihuahua gang roams Yorkshire!

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Soon. In fact, NOW says Evil Chihuahua

Soon. In fact, NOW says Evil Chihuahua

Arm yourselves! Gather your families! Pad your ankles and reinforce your doors, at least up for the first 18 inches. THEY are coming.

According to the Guardian, a gang of Chihuahuas took advantage of the absence of their guards to smash a window with an iron bar, fleeing into the darkness and desolation of the surrounding moors. THEY lurk, even now.

A nationwide hunt is under way for five chihuahuas, including a Crufts champion…

Valenchino Chihuahua Xena, who was named Best Puppy in Breed at Crufts 2014, [escaped] with four other dogs from a house in east Yorkshire on Thursday.

[Keeper] Mal Hilton said he and his partner Lucy Hilton have been devastated by the [escape] of Xena, her grandmother Angel and her mother Io, as well as two others called Pandora and Evie…

Normal chihuahuas sell for around £500.

Wait. What? There is, obviously, no such thing as a “normal Chihuahua.” That is what you call a contradiction in terms.

Evil Chihuahua

OpHippie: the Paperwork Situation

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Human gerbils

Human gerbils

You wouldn’t think there’d be a lot of paperwork involved in being a hippie. You’d be wrong. It just comes with bonus hard physical work and holistic “Namaste” garnishes.

By Monday, I will have walked 15 miles because of government cutbacks. #FACT. I have certain paperwork that has to be completed “within five business days” at a certain government office in Not-Ucluelet. This deadline was assigned Wednesday. On Thursday, I walked in to Not-Ucluelet, 2.5 miles, to find out the office was closed. I walked back to OpHippie Global HQ, disgruntled and somewhat fried, for lo I am middle aged and fat, although 4″ around the waist less fat than I was when I got here.

OHO! I thought. I will be cleverer tomorrow! I will phone and ask if they can do this before walking into town.

I did so today. They confirmed that, yes, the paperwork had to be done in that office, it was open, and the paperwork, in fact, COULD be done at that office today.

I walked into the office. Another 2.5 miles. The only staffer there said she hadn’t been trained on that software and could not help me, so could I come back on Monday.

Ty. Pi. Cal.

I walked back, 2.5 miles. And on Monday, I get to do it all again, hopefully minus the futility. Meanwhile, the actual client work I’ve already been paid for has to wait for all this goddam walking to be over, which naturally the clients are not thrilled about.

For this and other, Going Completely “The Beach” Related Reasons, this phase of OpHippie is drawing to a close. The ecovillage has essentially been kicked off the land, as in we are all welcome to stay here, but we have to spend our daily work ration working for the landowner, not the ecovillage, which means that the entire reason I moved here is suddenly entirely gone, replaced with two hours of literally shoveling shit and planting and weeding a day, while being denied the opportunity to do my own work, because the only room with wifi closes early, and I do my best work at night.

And the only cafes in town close – get this – prior to 5pm.

So.

While I am still committed to the ecovillage idea, this particular iteration is collapsing, the core group is splitting up and heading in different directions, and I need to find another home and another way to support myself until The Sikrit Projeckt is launched. I have an interview down the road at a resort on the beach for a night auditor/manager job tomorrow, as well as a freelance opportunity that’s up in the air, and a job audition for a great opportunity in Vancouver (literally, the ONLY job I would consider moving back to Vancouver for). If I get the job tomorrow, I’ll be living in staff accommodations right on the beach. If I get the second, I’ll rent a room in a shared house in Not-Ucluelet. If I get the third, I’ll get a room in a shared place in Vancouver, and I happen to have a line on one that’s good.

Next week, I’ll be back in Vancouver to do some pet-sitting, and after that? Who knows? The uncertainty, at least, is a totally hippie experience. Man.

PS: Propane leak in the kitchen tonight, and the window is still missing from the office after the break-in, so I have a choice of poisoning myself or not getting my work done tonight.

So, that’s the state of OpHippie. Anarchy. How fitting.

Tofino and environs