Nothing says I loves y’all like a bouquet and a classic ballad, so here. Don’t say I never did nuthin’ for ya.
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Valentine’s Day Sweetheart: The Jealous Astronaut
If, like me, you grew up babysat not by living, breathing human beings but rather by the marvelously crude animated friends on the incredible flickering electric rectangle, you’ll love this.
We lost The Osmonds. We lost The Jackson Five. We lost The Partridge Family 2200AD . We lost Scooby Doo. We lost Josie and the Pussycats. We lost Kimba the White Lion and Speed Racer and G-Force and He-Man and the Masters of the Universe.
But now Metro passes along this gem for our animation-starved generation. Now we’ve got something to fill the hole in our aching souls: We have The Jealous Astronaut!
What better muse for a post-millennial Valentine’s than an aging, obssessive, hygiene-impaired, would-be-adulterous rocket scientist? I sense another Douglas Coupland book coming on…
YouTube is over the jump if you don’t want to wait for that Flash to load up.
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quiz: how scary/sociopathic are you?
For a randomly-selected Blogthings quiz propably written by an agoraphobic emo teen as his only hope of fame and immortality, it’s actually pretty accurate.
You Are Scary |
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and in related news:
You Are 52% Sociopath |
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The Valentines Day gift that keeps on giving: belly dancing lessons for men
Words.
Fail.
Me.
From the brilliantly twisted mind and elegantly restrained pen of that Bob Newhart of British politics, Jon Henley in The Guardian:
In possibly life-changing Valentine’s Day news, we are pleased to report that the many and varied attractions of Birmingham have just been enhanced by the addition of all-male belly-dancing classes. According to the Birmingham Mail, belly-dancing for blokes helps “trim porky stomachs, achieve ramrod straight backs and turn themselves into sex gods”, and while there are drawbacks – you have to wear a “tight top” so the teacher “can see your belly rolls” – we can, at this late juncture, think of few better ways to show her you really love her.
flashlights of the deep: The Giant Squid hunts with headlights!
A ten-tentacle salute to Juvenal for the tip. The BBC has obtained video and still photos of a beautiful Taningia danae attacking its prey. Its balletic movements are surprising in such a large creature, and its speed really rather frightening. 2.5meters per second is 150 meters per minute, which is really quite a lot faster than I can swim, which is why I and all sensible people like boats so very much. Also, they like to circle their prey like cats circle their beds before pouncing, presumably just to freak it out a bit or something. And, much like kangaroo and deer hunters of our upper world, they know that a powerful headlight is a hunter’s best friend.
Jack Sparrow got off easy!
Alas, the video is uncapturable so you’ll have to watch it on the site, or watch this pretty Vampire Squid light show instead.
…the intense pulses of light that accompanied the ferocious attacks surprised the research team.
Dr Tsunemi Kubodera from the National Science Museum in Tokyo, who led the research, told the BBC News website: “No-one had ever seen such bioluminescence behaviour during hunting of deep-sea large squid.”
The footage reveals the creatures emitting short flashes from light-producing organs, called photophores, on their arms.
Writing in Proceedings of the Royal Society B, the team said: “[The bioluminescence] might act as a blinding flash for prey.”
The light would disorientate [sic!!!! asshole semiliterate BBC writers!!!] the squid’s intended prey, disrupting their defences, they added.
It could also act, the scientists commented, “as a means of illumination and measuring target distance in an otherwise dark environment.”
And, say the scientists, presumably assist the squid to find a mate in the dark depths of the ocean. God knows when you’re on the prowl, the right lighting is crucial: just ask the Gabor Sisters! Or, come to think of it, any common or garden flasher.
Also useful for telling ghost stories to the calamari piccolo.
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