why the squid?

How many times have I been asked about my fascination with the Giant Squid (and spillover fascinations with the Colossal Squid, Giant Sharks, Octopus, Cthulhu, and, really, anything big and crawly or big and carnivorous in the ocean)?

I understand that there are those who do not get this. These poor, deprived people have mild, torpid souls like vast expanses of blancmange, studded here and there with a dollop of something white and fatty, but never a hint of danger, of spice…

Of Squid.

Why the squid? Here’s why.

photo o’ the day: in the woods of bohemia

In the woods of bohemia

from nicointhebus, via the Bridlepath

Lagerfeld’s new lingerie: Seductive Baboon

From Gallery of the Absurd, via Defamer. I’m so incredibly relieved; for awhile I was thinking that the casting couch must have some very esoteric tastes. Assflaps? And that…thing that Lohan shared with the whole world in Venice. And Santa Monica. And Malibu. And…

The Truth Behind Starlet Crotch Photos

There has been an alarming increase in the frequency of starlet crotch photos across the blogosphere. You’d have to be from Jupiter if you’ve not yet seen photos of Paris Hilton’s weathered bits splashed all over the internet. If you’ve checked the gossip blogs lately, you’ve also been subjected to the regrettable vision of Lindsay Lohan’s “fire crotch” as she exits a vehicle while wearing a miniskirt sans underwear in front of a pack of eager paparazzi. Our reporters here at Gallery of the Absurd wanted to get to the bottom of this disturbing trend and we can now share with you what we learned:

We’re pleased to report that these young ladies are simply wearing Karl Lagerfeld‘s sizzlingly sexy new line of lingerie – Seductive Baboon. Lagerfeld noticed striking similarity between the mating behavior of the female baboon and that of certain free-wheeling Hollywood starlets and was inspired to create a line of underwear that resembles the swollen ass of a baboon.  We know, it’s hard to tell the difference, but that’s where Lagerfeld‘s genius is apparent. Sexy, no? Karl shares his insight with us:

Unka Karl on assflaps

Parisbaboon

We adore the Paris Hilton version of Seductive Baboon underwear! They even have a little pocket sewn on so that “Crabby” has a dark place to hide when there’s too much sunlight disturbing him.  Folks, there’s no longer any need to gouge out your eyeballs after you see yet another photo of Hilton’s crotch…rest assured, she’s wearing Seductive Baboon. Available at fine stores everywhere.

Lindzboon

Arar report is in

Maher Ararand Metafilter‘s got it. And, of course, I’m so out of touch I only found out because somebody linked to my blog in a post on Metafilter and I had to go see.

Note to ECNPA members; if you find the photographers responsible, I’m perfectly happy to credit them if that’s what they wish, or reduce them to thumbnail size in accordance with Fair Use legislation. I got these from Google Image Search, FYI.

Warning: I changed all their links to open in a new window. Normally I would just do that and not say anything, but there are a bajillion links here because it’s Metafilter after all and I don’t want you blaming me if your monitor suddenly looks like a weird 21st-century mosaic.

Yesterday, the Arar Commission released their report on the handling of the Maher Arar case, previously mentioned here or here. The findings are widely reported; Canada is self-flagellating for being complicit in the United States’ abduction and Arartorture of a Canadian citizen. As President Bush goes to Congress to lobby for the legal authority to abduct and torture anyone without a trial, Arar should consider himself lucky: although Canada didn’t help him out for a year, the Canadian government and news media were aware of and interested in his confinement, which likely saved him from the worst tortures. As a famous legal scholar commented some 240 years ago, “To bereave a man of life, or by violence to confiscate his estate, without accusation or trial, would be so gross and notorious an act of despotism, as must at once convey the alarm of tyranny throughout the whole nation; but confinement of the person, by secretly hurrying him to jail, where his sufferings are unknown or forgotten, is a less public, a less striking, and therefore a more dangerous engine of arbitrary government.”
posted by jellicle at 8:18 AM PST – 93 comments

Photocredits: John Lehmann (Arar alone) and Bill Grimshaw (Arar and family) as far as I can tell from this posting on ECNPA. Updates and corrections welcomed in the Comments section.

Contest: Sunday Serial Thriller

From Lois Peterson‘s Surreywriters list. Note that this is not paid writing work, which is, of course, how I came to hear about it:

On Sunday the Province will lanch the Sunday Serial Thriller, a 12-part mini-novel set in Vancouver.

The first and last chapters will be written by Daniel Kalla, with the the other chapters contributed by Province readers.  Prizes to be won include a trip to Mexico.

Complete details, and the first instalment, appears in the Sunday Province.