Britney loses weight: 180 pounds!

 the body's back, boys!

Skanks, wiggers, and rednecks everywhere rejoice as today their Vestal “Virgin” Britney Spears, tosses aside Husband #2 as the first step on the long march to eventual penniless and dubiously-titled decrepitude.

Yep, she’s single. TMZ via Gawker has the report. I have only one question:

DOES JUSTIN KNOW?

…citing “irreconcilable differences.” In her petition, Spears asks for both legal and physical custody of the couple’s two children, one-year old Sean Preston and two-month old Jayden James, with Federline getting reasonable visitation rights.

As for money, sources tell TMZ the couple, who married in Oct. 2004, has an iron-clad prenup. Not surprisingly, Spears is waiving her right to spousal support. She’s also asking the judge to make each party pay their own attorney’s fees.

Spears gives the date of separation as yesterday, the same day she flaunted her incredible revamped physique during a surprise appearance on David Letterman‘s show.

Boys, you know what it takes: nice arms, a collection of tats, a pretty face, the ability to wear clothes large enough to fit an entire family of nomads inside, and proof of fertility. Deafness is a plus, or at least one of god’s small mercies in this case.

Good luck and god speed.

Oh, and the news about the sex tape is here.

Freedom, 2006

Liberated in the name of the people from Gawker, and just in time for the election.

America: a gentle reminder for voting day

Oi! Don't elect any more idiots!

from the Sydney Morning Herald via Pharyngula

“saw this and thought of you”

My friends send me the sweetest little notes. The packages they’re attached to, however…

Presenting the Mad Scientist Laughing Contest, from Helsinki, Finland, proud home to one of the highest rates of Seasonal Affective Disorder in the world. Here, we can see the tragic consequences.

Walken to dial down the weird

Walken plays pool just like you, and when he's done he makes gold records!It’ll be a blow to his longtime fans, but cinematic icon and soul-blackened master of the bizarre Christopher Walken is to take on the most challenging role of his career.

In a complete reversal of his normal role-seeking priorities, Walken has chosen a character who, despite an outward appearance of berserk, orgiastic hedonism, actually possesses the soul of a retired bee-keeper in the Cotswolds.

Christopher Walken is to play Ozzy Ozbourne. Defamer has the rest:

Motley Crue lead singer Vince Neil told ABC News Radio in an exclusive interview that the 63-year-old Oscar-winning actor will make a cameo appearance as Osbourne in “The Dirt,” a movie based on the band’s controversial 2001 autobiography…

…other stars are going to appear in the film as rock stars, including Val Kilmer as David Lee Roth.

Both of those men are going to have to dial the weird RIGHT DOWN in order to play these rock gods. And, I imagine, they’ll be blowing off a lot of pent-up steam with the extras later.

Play safe, boys! Rough play with airborne blood particles must only take place in a properly tarped zone…