This is poetry. Sheer poetry.
So if you call one person fat that offends all fat people? When I call someone an idiot, does the entire Bush Administration cry?
Daily Archives: January 9, 2007
Ten Top Trivia Tips about Cthulhu!
Ten Top Trivia Tips about Cthulhu!
from the Mechanical Contrivium
- Cthulhu cannot burp – there is no gravity to separate liquid from gas in its stomach.
- Thirty-five percent of the people who use personal ads for dating are Cthulhu.
- The number one cause of blindness in the United States is Cthulhu.
- 99 percent of the pumpkins sold in the US end up as Cthulhu.
- Cthulhu invented the wheel in the fourth millennium BC.
- Peanuts and Cthulhu are beans!
- Apples are covered with a thin layer of Cthulhu.
In Japan it is considered rude to talk with Cthulhu in your mouth!- It took Cthulhu 22 years to build the Taj Mahal.
- Cthulhu once came third in a Charlie Chaplin lookalike contest.
Oh dear god, please don’t let #7 be true!!!
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best presents in history: dick in a box and box in a box
Justin Timberlake, something tells me you just might get lucky…and this time, with a girl who can sing, too! Here are the best-matched Christmas presents since O. Henry‘s great short story, Gift of the Magi.
This is a video response to Timberlake’s SNL video Dick in a Box, which you can see in its uncensored glory here. “Backstage at the CMA’s,” I mean, WTF???
And now, Box in a Box:
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Japanese porn rice
I suppose the accurate English translation would be Cougar Rice.
Japanprobe reports that a Japanese porn company has just released a “100% adult” rice called “Jukujo Rice,” jukujo being the Japanese word for a Mrs. Robinson-type sexy older woman character in a porn flick.
The rice is produced by Soft On Demand, one of Japan’s biggest porn companies, and it’s packaging says that it is “100% Adult” rice. It looks like you also have to be over 18 to purchase it…
I can see the marketing plan now: somewhere in a tawdry garret apartment an underpaid screenwriter is banging out a sushi delivery boy porn script; the movie will feature Nicolette Sheridan and some overendowed and underdiscriminating Japanese guy yet to be cast. Working title: Special Sauce.
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Father Guido Sarducci sings the Beatles!
The great Father Guido Sarducci was probably responsible for turning more coke-addled, Mineshaft-going athiests into alcoholic, community-center-haunting Catholics than any other figure of the late Twentieth Century. Here, in a special appearance at the Vatican, he performs a medly of Beatles tunes to a typically adoring crowd.
Father Guido Sarducci has spent the past thirty years living and working in the United States as gossip columnist and rock critic for the Vatican newspaper L’Osservatore Romano. Recently, he was also appointed Assistant Managing Editor for the Vatican Inquirer.
American audiences first became familiar with Father Sarducci during the golden years of “Saturday Night Live,” when he appeared regularly as a commentator on “Weekend Update.” He has also been a frequent and welcome guest on “The Tonight Show” and “David Letterman.”
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raincoaster 