For a randomly-selected Blogthings quiz propably written by an agoraphobic emo teen as his only hope of fame and immortality, it’s actually pretty accurate.
You Are Scary |
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and in related news:
You Are 52% Sociopath |
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Words.
Fail.
Me.
From the brilliantly twisted mind and elegantly restrained pen of that Bob Newhart of British politics, Jon Henley in The Guardian:
In possibly life-changing Valentine’s Day news, we are pleased to report that the many and varied attractions of Birmingham have just been enhanced by the addition of all-male belly-dancing classes. According to the Birmingham Mail, belly-dancing for blokes helps “trim porky stomachs, achieve ramrod straight backs and turn themselves into sex gods”, and while there are drawbacks – you have to wear a “tight top” so the teacher “can see your belly rolls” – we can, at this late juncture, think of few better ways to show her you really love her.
A ten-tentacle salute to Juvenal for the tip. The BBC has obtained video and still photos of a beautiful Taningia danae attacking its prey. Its balletic movements are surprising in such a large creature, and its speed really rather frightening. 2.5meters per second is 150 meters per minute, which is really quite a lot faster than I can swim, which is why I and all sensible people like boats so very much. Also, they like to circle their prey like cats circle their beds before pouncing, presumably just to freak it out a bit or something. And, much like kangaroo and deer hunters of our upper world, they know that a powerful headlight is a hunter’s best friend.
Jack Sparrow got off easy!
Alas, the video is uncapturable so you’ll have to watch it on the site, or watch this pretty Vampire Squid light show instead.
…the intense pulses of light that accompanied the ferocious attacks surprised the research team.
Dr Tsunemi Kubodera from the National Science Museum in Tokyo, who led the research, told the BBC News website: “No-one had ever seen such bioluminescence behaviour during hunting of deep-sea large squid.”
The footage reveals the creatures emitting short flashes from light-producing organs, called photophores, on their arms.
Writing in Proceedings of the Royal Society B, the team said: “[The bioluminescence] might act as a blinding flash for prey.”
The light would disorientate [sic!!!! asshole semiliterate BBC writers!!!] the squid’s intended prey, disrupting their defences, they added.
It could also act, the scientists commented, “as a means of illumination and measuring target distance in an otherwise dark environment.”
And, say the scientists, presumably assist the squid to find a mate in the dark depths of the ocean. God knows when you’re on the prowl, the right lighting is crucial: just ask the Gabor Sisters! Or, come to think of it, any common or garden flasher.
Also useful for telling ghost stories to the calamari piccolo.
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The Shebeen Club and 50Books.com Present:
Falling in the Forest:
Dialogue and Readings for Freedom to Read Week
When: 7-10pm, Tuesday, February 20th
Where: the Shebeen, behind the Irish Heather, 217 Carrall Street, Vancouver BC
How: reserve in advance by emailing lorraine.murphy at gmail.com or show up at the door
How Much: $15 includes meeting plus set dinner and a drink; strictly limited to 25 places
What: This month in honour of Freedom to Read Week we will host a discussion of literary freedom in Canada. Bring your opinions, your manifestos, and your forbidden writings! We will feature banned books with readings by CBC radio personalities Lisa Christiansen and Tammy Everts, quotations from great political thinkers, and a participatory discussion of the recent Supreme Court case involving Vancouver’s own Little Sister’s Bookstore.
Who: The Shebeen Club, Vancouver’s Literary Gathering, in association with 50Books.com. See http://www.shebeenclub.com and http://www.50books.com and http://www.freedomtoread.ca/ or email lorraine.murphy at gmail.com for more info.
Dress code: Orange jumpsuits, plum velvet frock coats, and gags optional.
Door prizes: We have a don’t ask, don’t tell door prize policy. We don’t ask you if you like ’em, we expect you not to tell us if you don’t. Book donations snivellingly accepted.
Meet and Mingle 7-7:30
Listen and Learn 7:30-9 (going to be a VERY involved night, eat your Wheaties)
Manifesto Manifesting 9-10 or whenever they finally throw us out
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Humanity is born free, yet everywhere it is … in thrall to the military-industrial complex using threats of terrorism to manipulate the cowed multitudes.
My question is this: why, when Pierre Elliot Trudeau imposed the War Measures Act (as a response to the kidnapping of only two individuals and with no sign of a war) did we accept this as right and good, yet when Tony Blair and George W. Bush impose similar measures (and they are both actively fighting wars…well, the poor people in their countries are; and there have been terrorist attacks in each of their countries which have killed a significant number of regular citizens) we reject it as nothing more than a cynical fascist control technique?
For me, I have an excuse: I was little when Trudeau ruled the Earth. But even then I was anti-fascist. I don’t think there’s any question about whether or not the technique if fascist: it is. The question is why did it seem right then but not now?
Is it personality-driven? Is it the charm factor? Is it because Trudeau was so obviously more intelligent than either Blair or Bush? or, come to think of it, more intelligent than the citizenry and we damn well knew it? Blair‘s no moron, though; is it because he’s so much Bush‘s catamite that he gets zero IQ points by association (or as a penalty for bad taste)? And can you imagine Stephen “RoboTory” Harper getting away with something like that? He’d be run out of Ottawa at the head of a mob armed with insulated buckets of boiling Steeped Tea™.
Pierre Trudeau‘s speech announcing the imposition of the War Measures Act is after the jump, and very interesting reading it makes, too:
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raincoaster 