Well, what did you expect? Stolen from Defamer.
:: 
:: 
:: 
:: 
:: 
:: 
:: 
:: 
:: 
:: 
Daily Archives: September 20, 2007
Terror Alert Level: Speedos!
Shocking news from Guantanamo Bay, as reports trickle in that security has been breached, in several, very palpable ways.
Prisoners have been sighted in possession of, and actually wearing, contraband items which have obviously been smuggled in somehow, to purportedly the most secure compound on Earth. Ringed by the Caribbean Ocean, patrolled by endless US Navy and Coast Guard boats, continuously scouted by fighter jets and surveillance drones, nonetheless the Gitmo prison camp has proven as porous as cheesecloth, all the forces of the United States Military no more effective than the elderly, be-aproned greeters at Wal-Mart.
We’re talking Speedos, people.
From the AP, via the Guardian:
SAN JUAN, Puerto Rico (AP) – Guards at the Guantanamo Bay prison camp found two prisoners sporting unauthorized underwear, and the U.S. military is investigating to determine how they got the contraband.
Both prisoners were caught wearing Under Armour briefs and one also had on a Speedo bathing suit, items the military said were not issued by Guantanamo personnel or sent through the regular mail, according to a Defense Department letter obtained Friday by The Associated Press.
Army Lt. Col. Ed Bush, a spokesman at the jail holding some 340 men on suspicion of terrorism or links to al-Qaida and the Taliban, said more was involved than just an uproar over skivvies.
He said the appearance of contraband raised serious concerns about the potential for smuggling other items that could be used by detainees to harm themselves or staff.
“There is no room for error when working in a dangerous environment, and constant vigilance is of the utmost importance,” Bush said.
Sweetie, if they look half-decent in them, you can be certain that at least some of your guards won’t take their eyes off of them. They’ve been away from home for a long time.
So, how does that work: if we wear the baggies, do the terrorists win?
:: :: :: :: :: :: :: :: :: ::
Calls for Cthulhu #6: Special Guest Star Xenu!
It’s time for another episode of everyone’s favorite call-in show, and ohhhhh, by Shub-Niggurath, this is a good one! It’s not every day that you get to hear from Xenu himself! Wonder what Tom Cruise thinks of this?
:: :: :: :: :: :: :: :: :: ::
Stacy Keach, Jedi Master Chef
Yes, Stacy Keach is a man of many talents. You may be familiar with him as an actor; you may have heard of his charity work; you may know him from his colourful personal history, but are you aware that this veritable Renaissance Man is also a qualified Jedi Master Chef?
Indeed, in the crowded ranks of celebrity Jedi Chef wannabes, only a rare few make it through to the revered rank of Jedi Master Chef. The years of training, the discipline necessary to wield a lightsaber or boning knife equally with not only a straight face, but a threatening one, the dogged pursuit of the scoundrel known as “Santa Clause”, and the ability to instantly recall the correct method for preparing non-weepy custard, are accomplishments beyond the ability of all but a rare, ascetic few.
Undertaking the way of the Jedi Chef is the choice of those remarkable individuals whose paths wind through tangled underbrush, dark valleys, and science fiction conventions.
:: :: :: :: :: :: :: :: :: ::
fan dumb
Sorry, Tuffy; the name is just too good not to steal – uh, recycle.
This story is stolen from the book I’m reading now: Starstruck: When a Fan Gets Close to Fame by Michael Joseph Gross who was, and is, a fan himself, so he aught to know.
On April Fool’s Day, 1934, when Ray Bradbury was thirteen years old, his family packed up and left Waukeegan, Illinois, for Hollywood, where his parents would search for work, and he would spend his free time outside studio lots with the packs of fans who collected autographs from movie stars. Remembering those days, he told me, “Of all of the people who did that sort of thing, I was the only one who had a dream of the future. I had a purpose for what I was doing. I was standing outside the wall of Paramount Studios when I was thirteen years old and I had a dream that I would jump over the wall and land inside and write a picture.”
About twenty years later, that dream came true. Walking down the red carpet with John Huston at the premiere of Moby Dick, Ray Bradbury was shocked to see, standing on the pavement, some of the autograph collectors he had known as a teenager. He left John Huston’s side and approached them, hoping they would recognize him. “I said, ‘I was that crazy boy who used to stand with you in front of Paramount.’ They said, ‘Oh yes, what are you doing now?’ And I suddenly got very embarrassed and didn’t want to tell them. There was this chasm that opened up between us, between what we had done together, what they were doing now, and what I was doing now. And I said, ‘I worked on the screenplay.’ And they said, ‘Did you type it? Were you in the stenographer’s department?’ And I said finally, ‘No, I wrote the screenplay.” And a strange thing happened at that moment. Suddenly their hands shot out, and there were half a dozen autograph books in front of me, and somebody handing me a pen. I crossed the border. I was not collecting autographs now. I was giving my first ones. It made me cry. I had made it over the wall. But none of those other people had made it over the wall.”
:: :: :: :: :: :: :: :: :: ::
raincoaster 