Daily Archives: July 21, 2008

The Deadbeat Club

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Well, I’ve never been one to dip a toe in when I could plunge over the cliff taking an entire bus with me instead.

So…Facebook.

MistressCowfish suggested I start a group, because after Friending people, Grouping is teh hawtness on Facebook, which sounds to my elderly ears like a rave gotten completely out of control, but whatever.

I have Grouped.

If you’re on Facebook, you’ll find me at The Deadbeat Club (cue Metro‘s bitter humour…).

Inspired by glorious deadbeats throughout history such as the authors of Frugal Indulgents, Dorothy Parker, Oscar Wilde, Quentin Crisp, Vincent Van Gogh, and that guy … you know … that guy whose name I can’t remember, who destroyed his priceless collections and then killed himself rather than let the collection fall into Ceasar’s hands. See, if Boris would join the group he could tell us who that was.

Yes, surely in a Deadbeat Club there’s some room for rich, sore losers. Especially if they’re buying.

Ladies, Gentlemen, and the Undecided, please raise your glasses, mugs, or sippy cups to our anthem:

The Deadbeat Club by The B 52’s

I was good, I could talk
A mile a minute,
On this caffeine buzz I was on
We were really hummin'
We would talk every day for hours
We belong to the deadbeat club

Anyway we can,
We're gonna find something
We'll dance in the garden
In torn sheets in the rain

We're the deadbeat club
We're the deadbeat club

Going down to Allen's for
A twenty-five cent beer
And the jukebox playing real loud,
"Ninety-six tears"
We're wild girls walkin' down the street
Wild girls and boys going out for a big time

Let's go crash that party down
In Normaltown tonight
Then we'll go skinny-dippin'
In the moonlight
We're wild girls walkin' down the street
Wild girls and boys going out for a big time

Anyway we can
We're gonna find something
We'll dance in the garden
In torn sheets in the rain

Chorus

Oh no! Here they come
The members of the deadbeat club

Raincoaster OfVancouver is on Facebook

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I know, I know, I’ve blogged about Facebook warning you all about it, and what I said is true.

But.

I talked Brian Atene into signing up on FB and it would look pretty stupid if I didn’t do it myself, eh? So, there I am.

Friend me. Operation Global Media Domination needs you.

And promise not to tell Lisanti that I came when I saw the add. Deal?

Married To The Sea

Twice.

Canadian Beaver goes Brazilian and comes out on top!

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Canadian Beaver. Friendly!

Canadian Beaver. Friendly!

Beaver. Who doesn’t love beaver, eh?

Okay, so I stole that headline, or most of it, from Vancouver Theatresports when they competed for the world comedy improv championships in Australia. And I had to tweak it from “We’re going Down Under to come out on top!” but hey, it still works.

And who doesn’t love beaver? And Brazilians?

Okay, maybe Christopher Hitchens, but that was a Brozilian and, as such, completely different.

These beavers gone Brazil are still fully-furred. They are fully-fanged as well, and in a desperate attempt to divert attention from the cattle barons and soybean growing enviro-rapists of South America, a government-funded organization has labeled the mild-mannered (and, if anything, excessively polite) Canadian Beaver as the largest single threat to the South American ecosystem.

Riiiiiiiiiiiiight.

The document, presented to both governments this month, says only a multimillion-dollar project can protect South America from tens of thousands of beavers gnawing their way through its woodlands…

Fifty North American beavers, Castor canadensis, were introduced to Tierra del Fuego, in southern South America, in the 1940s in order to establish a fur trade. It was a catastrophic mistake. Numbers multiplied dramatically and beavers spread across the archipelago, crossed the Magellan Strait and are now spreading through the mainland….

‘The ecosystem in North America evolved along with the beaver,’ said Donlan. ‘Vegetation there has adapted ways for dealing with it.’ North American trees can grow back from their roots after beavers have gnawed them down, for example.

Riiiiiiiiiiiiight.

Now, nobody is pretending that a sudden, unnatural influx of Canadian Beaver is entirely without effect, my ex’s reaction notwithstanding and, indeed, that is why he’s an ex, but it is entirely possible to protect one’s precious and presumably precarious homestead from an influx of aggressive Canadian beaver without taking refuge in expensive governmental flights of eco-fiction.

Just tell her you need to fill your Valtrex prescription, for instance.

Geekaerobics with Elijah Wood

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This isn’t a workout video, but it should be! This mashup of Yo Gabba Gabba and The Numa Numa Song (Dragostea Din Tei) would be an instant hit, whether released as a regular DVD or in specially adapted format for the WiiFit. We’ve all seen and enjoyed those videos, haven’t we?

So here is music geek Elijah Wood with the post-postmodern children’s television geek icons from Yo Gabba Gabba, prancing and dancing and even (apparently) moonwalking, a risky move that has been known to be fatal to street cred.

Enjoy?