Vancouver International Film Festival Contest

]Vancouver International Film Festival Contest

You’ve got ONE day, Vangroover. Contest ends tomorrow.
What are you doing sitting at home when you could be at the Vancouver International Film Festival, watching movies that the nasty greedheads you know and love from Entourage never got their filthy paws on? How can you be there? Easy:

You win my contest, you get tickets. Two tickets to one of these films FOUR tix to the film of your choice. (not includig galas, not including sold out performances, not including getting the star’s phone number; you’re on your own for getting those) Simple, right?

How do you enter? You leave a tasteless joke in the Comments section right here, preferably a tasteless Hollywood joke. Or, if you can’t think of or Google a tasteless joke that nobody else has told yet, you can just leave a plain old vanilla comment. But tasteless jokes get automatic priority in my completely slanted system. Tasteless jokes featuring Cthulhu count triple!

We’re talking Imaginarium of Doctor Parnassus. You want to see Heath Ledger‘s last (and possibly best) movie, don’t you? Support the twisted genius of Terry Gilliam and piss off major studios while you’re at it.

We’re talking The Agony and the Ecstasy of Phil Spector. Who doesn’t want to know what twisted, murderous mania lurks under that hideous fright wig? A man who is capable of convincing himself that THAT looks good is capable of anything.

(sorry, the Beeb took down the trailer and it’s not on YouTube yet. You KNOW what you must do, little soldiers)

We’re talking Beyond the Game, World of Warcraft made actually interesting for non-WoWers. I just want to see if this can be done in the first place, really.

We’re talking…hell, just READ this:

Empire State Building Murders (France,
73 min.) <EMPIR>William Karel (The World According
to Bush) has created something entirely
new. He’s “mixed” scenes from more than 50 classic
film noir and recruited the very much alive
Kirk Douglas, Lauren Bacall, Mickey Rooney and
Cyd Charisse to play along from the point of view
of today, adding whole new layers of meaning.
Ben Gazarra leads us through this seductive maze.

I dunno about you, but frankly Ben Gazarra can lead me through a seductive maze any time. It’s Dead Men Don’t Wear Plaid meets … well, every film referenced in Dead Men Don’t Wear Plaid. Trailer is here: Empire State Building Murders

and we are talking about The Great Contemporary Art Bubble, which is basically every story John Richardson ever wrote for Vanity Fair magazine, in documentary format. Watch Damien Hurst sell dead critters for more digits than you’re accountant has ever seen! Watch ostentatious Eurotrash frenemies air kiss in Monte Carlo auction houses! Watch…the auction audience, trying to spot the prostitutes.

Let the Great Tasteless Joke Contest for Vancouver International Film Festival Tickets begin!

Cthulhu Collects

You think you’ve got it bad NOW? Imagine being audited by the ravening, tentacled mass of malevolent, soul-killing protoplasm which is the Great Cthulhu.

You think he’ll allow those pub crawl receipts? Do ya, punk?

Cthulhu comes to collect

Cthulhu comes to collect

via Pete Quily

The Lord of the Ring

Steve Jobs, Ringmaster

Steve Jobs, Ringmaster

Today in My Imaginary Boyfriend News (well, actually last week in My Imaginary Boyfriend News, but things are always complicated chez Operation Global Media Domination HQ) Gawker reports that Steve Jobs made his stage appearance at … who gives a rat’s ass what it was, like I can afford anything he previewed anyway!

At something…

Without his wedding ring.

Yes, ladies and gentlemen, quibble if you must; deny; harangue; make ridiculous claims like “he’s lost a  lot of weight and probably just took it to get re-sized”. Tell yourself whatever lies you need to let you sleep at night.

I KNOW.

At last, I’m one step closer to getting a free Macbook!

The winner writes the history…when he has both hands free

superpoop.com
superpoop.com

Yog-Sothoth reflects

Yog-Sothoth reflects

Seldom-glimpsed Great Old One Yog-Sothoth, the All-In-One and One-In-All makes an unusual appearance in London to ponder the fleeting nature of the seasons, to enjoy the stunning views along the river, and to drive a few of the simpering locals into an irrevocable, gibbering, terror-born madness.

NOBODY puts Bubbly in the corner!