Ever wondered what she really looks like, without all the Photoshop? Gallery of the Absurd already knows…click onward to view at own risk. Continue reading
Monthly Archives: November 2007
Day of the Ninja: how to become a ninja
As we here at the ol’ raincoaster blog have noted, December 5th is the Day of the Ninja. You may wish to ninjafy yourself, or you may wish to ninja-proof yourself (as if such a thing can be done!) in preparation for the dread event.
Our sympathies, naturally, lie much more towards the Squid quadrant of the Grid of Alignment (Squid, Pirate, Ninja, Robot) than the Ninja quadrant, but we provide the following How To Become A Ninja chart as a public service to our readers.
Click to enlarge. And: Don’t say we never did nuthin for ya.
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SFW Viagra demonstration
No, really. Safe for work, even if you work in Saudi Arabia. Necessity (necessitated by strict religious laws) is the mother of invention…but who is the father? We may never know, but it’s pretty likely that he used this stuff, which is reportedly the second-best-selling pharmaceutical in Saudi Arabia.
found at Bakascorner via Finestkind Clinic and Fishmarket
Natalie Portman wants you to marry your boyfriend (updated)
UPDATED: now that’ I’ve drunk my coffee, I see I completely misinterpreted things. All corrected!)
If Natalie Portman has ever put so much as a pinkie toe wrong since she began her career at, what, 12? I certainly never heard about it.
The accent in V for Vendetta notwithstanding.
And she doesn’t even come from some fringe Yahoos For Jesus cult: she’s a good, old-fashioned Jewish girl.
So it is with relief that we read the following quote attributed to Miss P:
“I’m not convinced about marriage. Divorce is so easy, and that fact that gay people are not allowed to marry takes much of the meaning out of it. … Committing yourself to one person is sacred.”
And the future Natalie Portman Broadway musical gets moved to the fast track!
Stumblin’ in
And then there are the things you stumble across when you’re walking down the street, minding, very much, your own business, and which do not seem, at the time, to be the kind of thing you should be overhearing, nor even, it must be admitted, the kind of thing that should be said in the first place; but then, you don’t know if the speaker is in the first place or, come to that, the place of last resort. And so…
What do you say when you come around a corner and literally bump into a hooker working said corner, and it’s someone you went to school with? “Gee, I’d-a thought the firedancing skillz would have kept you at the novelty escort level”???
And what do you say when you show up at the spa for your pampering session and the receptionist is someone you worked years ago with who’s got a brand-new set of apparently quite expensive bazongas? “You’re looking…fuller”???
And, of course, if it’s someone randomly wandering down Robson Street, chatting into a cellphone, with whom one has no previous acquaintance, one simply pretends one didn’t hear it, yet takes notes, as all good Canadians do…
“Anything. Get me anything. Anything but sleep, because I’ve had enough of that…”
or the storefront in Smith’s Falls, Ontario: Bridal Affairs. I mean, I just don’t wanna know. It’s like asking for trouble.
I mentioned to my friend MistressCowfish that I recognized most of the dogs on the Downtown Eastside, but hardly any of the people, to which she responded with what can only be described as a bark of laughter in the Sirius Black mode, and the retort: “of course! It’s perfectly polite to stare at a dog!” Quite so.
When I went to Indonesia I learned to say hello to the people, who were friendly, and ignore the dogs, which were touchy and feral. On the Downtown EastSide, it’s the other way around.
raincoaster 