Monthly Archives: January 2008

D’oe!

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Audrey Hepburn and her pet deerDon’t you just hate it when you’re minding your own business, just taking your deer out for a walk, and suddenly one little thing sets off the mob and things go all Quentin Tarantino on you? Someone call a recently-reemployed screenwriter and get them on this right away: it’s a soon-to-be-classic, can’t-fail romcom featuring Hayden Panettiere as the ditsy socialite India Vanderhoof and Michael Cera as Fred Fogg, the waiter with a heart of gold, starring in the guaranteed worldwide box office smash Bringing Up Bambi!

All the way from Winston-Salem, North Carolina:

Witnesses eating lunch Sunday at TJ’s Deli in Winston-Salem were startled when they said a woman walking a pet deer on a leash lost control of the animal, causing it to break through a window and run amok through the restaurant’s dining room…

The deer, which witnesses described as a 120 to 140-pound doe, finally ran through the kitchen and out the back door.

No one was injured in the melee, and there’s no word on why the woman had the deer or if charges would be filed against her.”We might add deer jerky (to the menu),” Fogg said laughing

Who should I call about this…Pixar? Steve, Steve, we need to talk.

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not just a river in Egypt

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Our thought for the day:

Denial

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Your Scientology vs Anonymous Unicorn Chaser Video

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Update: Oh, fine, take down your damn videos. Here’s another one:

Some faithful readers have complained about the ominous, extremist anarchist tone taken by the internet action group Anonymous in its video manifestos against the Church of Scientology. And we understand, we really do. We don’t understand why ominositousness, extremeology, and anarchistication are seen as negatives, but there, there, we’ll cut you some slack.

Here is your unicorn chaser, stolen straight from The Church of Stalkerology, Gawker.

LolCats. NonyLolCats vs the Church of Scientology. Is this not the meta-ist of the meta-memes you’ve ever seen? It is a thing of beauty and a joy forever. The only way this could have been improved is if it had been posted, yes, anonymously.

Transcript

Hey-a, we is anonacat.

We haz been in yer sitez watchin’ ur filks.

We see whud u did der.

We no whud u bin doin wif yer peeps.

The lays, teh lawsoots, teh deed peepel n stuff.

U got caught in butt sechs and ceiling cat is not amused.

We is gonna ate allz yer cheezburgers

and poop n your corm flacks.

We is gonna pwn u.

pwn ur websitez,

pwn yer blags.

pwn your girlfriend wif butt sechs.

We know that u b strong n stuff, but we is not impretz.

We are a lots,

we be have a lot of kittahs

that can be catz fer us if we be get deed.

We are in your base, liberating your doods.

For the gud of yer peeps.

For the good of teh kittehs everwhere,

and for de cheezeburgas, we is gonna make yer cult be kilt.

We are anonycat.

We are teh leegun.

We haz a flavor.

We is no skert.

Expect We.

kthanxbai.

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Banksy caught in the act!

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Banksy’s bouquet

One of the great mysteries of the Twenty-First Century has been revealed: the identity of the secretive “Banksy,” perhaps the most (in)famous of all guerrilla graffiti artists. Banksy, whose politically and socially critical works sell for hundreds of thousands of dollars to collectors around the world including the Pitt-Jolie family, is notoriously reclusive. The artist has never been publicly identified, and no previous photos of Banksy at work are known to exist. As you will see from the picture behind the page jump, the patron saint of taggers everywhere has good reason to have kept quiet about that highly inconvenient “day job.”

Banksy Thug for Life

Click onward for the shocking photo evidence.

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Ten Things You Don’t Know About Women, by Jennifer Love Hewitt

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Jennifer Love Hewitt’s face is up here

O RLY? Yes, RLY.

She’s not as bimbonic as she looks. She certainly is smart enough to have hired a PR who can pick out a good ghostwriter!

From Esquire, via PopOnThePop:

1. PMS is not a lame excuse to be able to yell at you. It’s a great excuse.

2. We really can pump our own gas. It’s just that we’ve got this fantasy of you as a ’30s-era full-service station attendant. You’d look so cute in the hat.

3. We’re not complimented when you call your ex a slut. She dated you, too. So what are we?

4. We’re smart enough to know that smell is always the dog.

5. Yes, we can dish it out.

6. No, we can’t take it.

7. We want to raise children. We just don’t want you to be one of them.

8. Women are meant to talk and men to listen. We don’t want to be fixed; we want to be heard.

9. When we ask if you’ve had any work done, it’s because we want to know what our kids will really look like.

10. When we ask you how we look, it’s okay to lie; when we ask you how she looks, you better lie.

I disagree with #6, but then, I’m considerably better-nourished than Ms JLoHew, and as everyone knows, cocaine interferes with one’s ability to detect #4. #2, though. What was she thinking, letting that out of the bag?

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