Yes, they are real. Reebok St. Patrick’s Day Classics. Green, with white trim, shamrocks, and “Kiss Me, I’m Irish” on the heel cup.

And a goddam Union Jack on the label. Use orange laces on these buggers and you could start another civil war right there on the sidewalk. If you check out the other model through the link above, you’ll see that the Orangemen are also well-represented. I can’t wait to see that in an updated version of West Side Story.

A sneaker you can wear once a year. The fashion world has reached its apotheosis, people; here is where it ends. Here, Karl Lagerfeld swallows his own tail and vanishes in a puff of brimstone.

Besides, they’re Reebok: they’re crap. Soft, pretty crap, but it’s a good thing they’re only wearable one day a year, because that’s the only way Reeboks would last more than one year anyway.

I’m wondering, looking at these, if they were designed by a Dublin dominatrix who, being new to the business, hadn’t really gotten the hang of the “Kiss my feet” thing yet.

“Yo P.Paddy, is it me feets ye’d be kissin?” Heel, boy.

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