Yep. I’ll be by to pick up my winnings from all you cowboy-favoring losers out there.
It seems, from a casual surf around YouTube, that they do these kinds of trials all the time.
And the gun always loses.
The ninjas advance to the second round, where they will face this year’s dark horse: Spartans. Place your bets with the tellers now, ladies and gentlemen.
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Don’t we all, sweetheart, don’t we all.
Here’s a musical number from perhaps the greatest Simpsons episode of all time. Enjoy.
Update: YouTube took it down, so here’s a fan-made replacement
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It comes as no surprise to those of us in other nations that the United States needs professional help.
They have recently begun advertising for it.
Unfortunately, while the advertising gives every indication that this is a good old-fashioned show business audition in that great Hollywood Baby-I-Can-Make-You-A-Star tradition, the bait and switch factor here is of a standard of viciousness that would give even CAA pause.
They’re actually looking for “Arabic-looking people” to play the enemy in live war games. Oops, did we not mention that? Sowee!
They came with dreams of working on a movie set, or at the very least of earning some respectable cash as a walk-on extra, encouraged by a mysterious advertisement printed recently in a Berlin tabloid.
But the reality was different for dozens of Arab-speaking applicants at a supposed casting session, only to be told they were wanted to play Iraqis and Afghans in a US wargame planned for later this month.
I can certainly see the War Games Marketing Manager vetoing a “apply here to get treated like Iraqis by the US Army” format, but a little more disclosure and, perhaps, a lot more cash, might have resulted in an uptake ratio greater than the reported four out of dozens.
…many turned back at the door when asked: “Do you have anything against working for Americans?” …One Moroccan man refused to take part, saying: “I will not help the Americans hurt my brothers…”
“We’re looking for more realism,” said Reggie Bourgeois, executive officer of the US Army’s Joint Multinational Readiness Center (JMRC) in Bavaria. “The more actual culture we can inject into the exercise the better it is for our soldiers.”
“After all, we’re in the business of dealing with the culture.”
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I’m serious here. Some misguided Midwestern bagel shop decided that nothing says “fun atmosphere” like baked goods reminiscent of a mummy’s ladyblossom.
So, how, exactly, would a bagel like a vagina be a good thing? How could a bagel be like a vagina?
Does it shoot out babies if you get it too close to Tom Brady?
Is it often baked or toasted?
Crispy outside, cream cheese on the inside?
Sometimes comes with a tossed salad?
You know where the Comments button is…use it. We await your filthy offerings with baited breath.
Oh, tuna salad is an option…
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Definitely pic o’ the day quality, this image is a painting by Douglas Herring which I found via the Squidblog. Yes, it may have been painted ten years ago, but obviously it was lying dormant all this time, waiting until the stars aligned in the ancient pattern once again.
Look around you, people: can “Mercury’s in retrograde” explain all of this?
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raincoaster 