Category Archives: Allegory

welcome to the panIHOPticon

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The Spatula of Total Information Awareness 

Would you like some surveillance with those flapjacks? How about a side of identity theft? Can I top up your presumption of guilt before offering you what we’ve got in the way of closed curcuit television monitoring, hot off the griddle? Here’s our daily special, fresh from the Department of Homeland Insecurity.

In response to a media inquiry, a Quincy, Massachusetts International House of Pancakes has ended its somewhat over-the-top dine-and-dash prevention policy of requiring its customers to not only show, but also relinquish, their driver’s licenses while enjoying the tasty breakfasts for which the chain is renowned.

Those who would trade liberty for security of pancakes deserve neither liberty nor pancakes!

The PanIHOPticon policy was overturned when one John Russo, would-be breakfaster, refused to comply with the policy, citing fears of identity theft. Media reports quote Russo as saying,

“‘You want my license? I’m going for pancakes, I’m not buying the Hope diamond,’ and they refused to seat us…Identity theft is rampant. I wouldn’t want to give my license, with my address or Social Security number to anyone that I’m not familiar with. I’m going just for breakfast.”

There are no reports of Russo attempting to use the library, pray, or take flying lessons while at the IHOP.

Would you like a cavity search with that maple syrup?

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the Charlie Brown remix: an Outkast Christmas

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Remix or original, Linus still has the best lines. It would make sense that he grew up to be George Clooney.

Vancouver’s Chinatown in winter, a vignette

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Chinese chef could kick iron chef's ass! 

From Chowman on the Urban Diner Waiterforum. This will give you a bit of perspective on where I live and how immigrants adapt with creativity to our patented Canadian winters.

My favourite restaurant ice-clearing moment was at lunch today on Main Street. A cook was on his knees with a cleaver, hacking at the ice on the sidewalk in front of the restaurant. After each series of several hacks, a staff member would step forward with a shovel. I love teamwork.

THE definitive raincoaster quiz

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My heart leaped up when my eyes saw this one! Yes, we’ve been quiz-heavy over the past 24 hours it is true, but there exists in this world not the slightest chance that raincoaster was gonna let this one get past her without taking credit where credit is, according to the Quiz Gods, due.

Bow down and worship me, mortals, lest ye be driven to gibbering madness to quench the divine thirst of the Greatest of the Great Old Ones, mighty Cthulhu!

Oooh, there’ll be no living with me after this!

Cthulhu, yo!

You scored as Cthulhu. You are Great Cthulhu! You lay and dream at home (or the beach) most of the time but one day (when the stars are right) you will suddenly have the power to get out there and show the world what youre made of! Lets hope you dont do too much damage……

Cthulhu
80%
Nodens
70%
Yog-Sothoth
70%
Nyarlathotep
65%
Azathoth
65%
Hastur
35%
Shub Niggurath
15%

Which Cthulhu Mythos character/God are you?
created with QuizFarm.com

quiz: which Disney character are you?

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What the hell, it’s easier than writing my own content. And, apparently, more popular. We’re blogging quick and dirty today, both because we’re doing a temporary move at casa del raincoaster and because WordPress’s back end is going down for a few hours (gee, I must not have my sexual metaphors straight…thought that wasn’t how it worked).

You scored as Donald Duck. Your alter ego is Donald Duck! Try as you might, you have a nasty temper that is hard to control. But you try hard to please, and you aren’t one to go down without a fight.

Donald Duck
81%
Peter Pan
75%
The Beast
63%
Goofy
56%
Sleeping Beauty
50%
Ariel
50%
Cruella De Ville
50%
Cinderella
44%
Snow White
31%
Pinocchio
25%

Which Disney Character is your Alter Ego?
created with QuizFarm.com

Show me the luv at the Bloggie Awards, people!

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