Coco-BOOM
Contrary to my expectations, and to my great disappointment, I learned that this is not how Coco Puffs are made. Au contraire, this is the War on Drugs. Who knew coke was so flammable?
Puerto Concordia, Colombia: anti-narcotics police officers blow up a cocaine processing laboratory after seizing it from the Farc
Photograph: Guillermo Legaria/AFP/Getty Images
Bystanders were extremely moved by the pyrotechnic display, if not thrilled.
I fucking hate shortages!!
This round so totally goes to Canada. Why? Well, let’s see…what did the widely respected Guardian have as a front-page headline two days ago?
Like, duh. You think he’s going to do it in a graveyard at midnight, a Vegas Chapel of Luv, or some unpronounceable South American bureaucrat’s office? No; he’s Peter Fucking Phillips and he is going to goddam well get married at Windsor Castle and we DO NOT NEED A NEWSPAPER to tell us that.
The story, strangely, appears to be offline now. Perhaps they came to their senses, or perhaps I’m not the first to have remarked on the remarkable stupidity of that headline.
And what, you may ask, is this world-beating entry from the Socialist Republic of Canuckistan? Just this:
Naturally, it takes more than a grizzly bear attack in which he gnaws on your brain to keep a Canadian down; the fellow actually picked himself up after the bear was done with him and drove himself 25 kilometres to a gas station, where they called for help.
His hands were so swollen and bloody, he could barely get his keys out of his pocket, said Case, an experienced outdoorsman.
“I knew that if I didn’t drive and have the fortitude to control things, I was going to die.”
Case then drove 25 agonizing kilometres to the closest town to seek help. He finally reached a gas station and asked the attendant to call for an ambulance.
“I think my brains are hanging out,” he said. “I don’t know what’s happening here, but I’m alive. I started wiggling my fingers and toes…”
“I said [to the doctors], ‘There’s nothing hanging out that you’re not telling me?’ They said, ‘No, you’re OK'”
“They started using the peroxide and, ‘Ooh,’ I said, ‘that hurt more than the bear!'”
Badassery. We haz it.
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Have you seen the cinematic triumph which is Shine? It is the movie that launched Geoffrey Rush on an unsuspecting public. It takes a few of those to make up for chewing scenery in a pirate’s outfit, that’s for sure.
But, perhaps hoping to capitalize on the crossover audience (sure to be huge) coming to serious cinema from the huge fan-making machine which is the POTC franchise, they’ve now remade Shine in a more child-friendly format.
Hey, it worked for Pixar.
And now, I shall go back to reading Bridget Jones and thinking what a good Twitter feed it would be…
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From Popbitch:
Men in England and Wales are twice as likely to die as a result of having a foreign object in their anus as they are through being struck by lightning.
Like, Italian sausage?
Bear porn.
You know you want it. It makes you feel dirty and all tingly inside, and the rougher and rawer it is, the better you like it. Here, in lieu of a real, effort-taking blog post (since I’m currently under the weather and, it feels like, Mount Olympus as well) is a random selection of naked, underage panda bears in compromising positions for your amusement.
and the immortal nekkid kiddie panda bear wrestling vid:
bonus hawt teenage panda-bear-on-panda-bear action:
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raincoaster 