Pussy tips from Fox: picking the perfect playmate for your cat house

Catwoman relaxing with her humans

Cat houses are notoriously hard to manage and staff. While we’ve all made impulsive choices at one time or another, some decisions are far too important to be left to the whims of the moment. Certainly at the time it seems right. It seems natural. It seems good.

But the next morning, when there are another’s hairs in the sink and breath in our faces, we must ask ourselves: did we really make the right choice?

Fortunately, the ever-dependable Fox News has stepped into the breach and collected a list of tips for picking the perfect pussy. Never again will you face morning-after remorse!

[they] can be a wonderful addition to any household. But many novice — —-rs assume this “pet” will be an aloof alternative to a —, which is far from the truth. While they can stay indoors and do not have the exercise requirements of —s, —s do require attention and stimulation…

Although —s are usually thought of as a low-maintenance ——, they still need play time and care. —s may not need to be taken out for a walk, but that does not mean they do not require a serious commitment.

No matter whether it is a ———– ——– — or Russian —-, the decision to buy a — should be a decision made by every single person in the household…

Baby ——s, especially a wide-eyed ——, can be almost impossible to pass up. Anyone looking for a —— should consider that it is a tiny bundle of energy, very different from the composed demeanor of many adult —-.

“… they tend to be active from 3 to 6 a.m.,” Buchwald said. “It takes a lot of care. We often say, if you don’t feel like being awakened in the middle of the night, then maybe opt for an adult…” [anyone with a teenager would agree]

All ——-s are natural scratchers, according to Tartaglia, so it is important to provide natural surfaces … so ——– behavior does not turn destructive.

For people looking for a specific —, they might want to consider a breeder

And so on. That’s Fox: Not Afraid to Be Servicey.

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if only I could get money out of mine…

I hear some women know the trick.

Pussy Purse This little item, from Lola’s Dashboard (via Hazel) reminds me, for no reason I can put my finger on (in polite company) of the time I was at the Bacara resort near Santa Barbara, eating the most expensive breakfast of my life ($42 plus tip) and discussing, as one does at the breakfast table, the Black Dahlia murder case. I managed to avoid the more gruesome bits (a tricky business, to say the least) and concentrate on the psycho-social aspects of the case.

“Everyone said she was dumb, but by the time she died,” I said of the then-22-year-old victim, “she’d been living off men for five years. And she was still a virgin.”

“I want to know how.”

And quick as a flash, the waitress said, “When you find out, let me know, too.”

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the consolations of a gossip blogger

We at the ol’ raincoaster blog are experiencing several layers of technical difficulty, some, but not all, relating to our roomie’s streaming video addiction. Tomorrow we shall pull plugs or go out and deal with the public (gasp!) until this thing works better. In the meantime, here’s something I found while doing my “soul-killing” day job as a gossip blog link wrangler. If there’s a beefcake shot you’d prefer to see (Shia Leboef, Colin Farrell, whoever) drop your requests in the comments. I’ll do my best, although I draw the line at Federline. I’m so, so tired of him making sock puppet comments.

Welcome back, my Butterscotch Stallion.

Owen Wilson

Amy Winehouse: Love is a Losing Game live at the Mercury Awards

Yes, I know we’re all about the YouTubes lately, but watch this and listen and tell me how I could NOT put it up. It’s over mannered, it’s over-rehearsed, it’s overdone (and so is the hair, the makeup, and the reputation as a hellraiser) but it is, nonetheless, astonishing. Lyrics after the jump.

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Celebrity Gossip: the roundup!

Garbo

Because I have so many blogs, and because I am yea, very easily confused, forsooth, I wrote a post for Ayyyy.com which place does, in fact and in actuality, pay me to read gossip blogs (NOT kidding. Life is a cabaret, old chum) and say “go look at that…now go look at this…now look at that” etc.

Yes, I am getting paid to read gossip blogs.

My sister is going to eat her lips when she reads that.

In any case, here’s the post that was going to put food on my table this month, until I remembered that I’m only supposed to do this during the week. And it’s the weekend. And I thought, bugger it, I can at least feed the ol’ raincoaster blog with it.

Mindy McCready behind bars, not under them this time (PerezHilton)

Viggo Mortensen‘s computer-enhanced nude scene (Agent Bedhead)

Alyssa Milano: Who’s the Sportsblogger? (Daily Stab)

The Celebrity Cover Corral (Celebrity Smack)

Katie Holmes is no Richard Avedon (I’m Not Obsessed)

OJ Simpson is looking for the real burglars (Holy Candy)

Christina Aguilera visited by the Titty Fairy (Wizbang Pop)

Carmen Electra bringing the respectable back? (Hollywood Tuna)

Angelina Jolie rocks the Mother of the Bride look (Just Jared)

Lindsay Lohan is delusional (and easy) (A Socialite’s Life)

Colin Farrell‘s homeless shopping spree (Defamer)

Ryan Gosling loves his costar (Jezebel)

Larry Birkhead‘s graveside photo-op (Mollygood)

Amy Winehouse before the wine (Dlisted)

Paula Abdul has something you don’t…besides memories of sex with Emilio Estevez (Evil Beet)

Prince is suing…YOU! (CeleBitchy)

Well, this should be good for hits.

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