Photoessay o’ the Day: the Eight Phases of Goatse

I’m just going to assume you know what I’m talking about, because after all, we’re all adults on the internets and we have been around a turn or two, didn’t just fall off the novelty USB device truck, we’ve had it in the ear before.

So. Goatse And The Eight Phases Thereof: a photoessay

A phenomenon known as “goatse” has taken the internet by storm, in what has become the fad from hell that just won’t die. Don’t know what goatse is? It’s a picture, go look it up, can’t miss it. Unfortunately, no one can be told what the goatse is…you must see it for yourself….

And when you do…

The first phase

Phase 1: Shock
“OMGWTF!” *MINIMIZE……*

 

all the way to:

Goatse phase 7

Phase 7: Enchantment
“Only on teh intranet! What a delight!”

 

And beyond!

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makeover for raincoaster

Me! ME! ME! ME! ME! MEEEEEEEEEEE!

Well? What do you think of my new look?

Aw, who am I kidding? I love it and don’t care what anybody else thinks, I’m sticking with it. This is a sentiment with which I am intimately familiar, having been a fan of olive green and iridescent purple nail polish since before Madonna wore black. Mind you, the only reason I wore nail polish is that I bought it to paint my lead D&D figurines, and figured I might as well do something with the leftovers.

This blog makeover, however, has a much more elevated history. The preternaturally gracious (and flirtatious) Southern Belle Stiletto Girl became possessed by the spirit of anarchy and empowerment and gave me the CSS upgrade for my birthday, so the look of the blog was mine to tinker with. With which to tinker. Whatever.

But I was a-skeert.

Cue the highly evolved, naturally talented, supernaturally generous and, apparently, workaholic devblog, who emailed me out of the blue, saying more or less, “Hi, I know you like dark themes, and thought you’d like this one I found. It won’t work on WP.com, but you’ve got the CSS upgrade and I don’t mind adapting it so it works perfectly with that, so how would you like me to do that for free?

Uh, ch’yeah!

Et voilà!

Now watch me break it.

Template is the beautiful Dark Ritual (like, seriously, how fucking perfect is that?) by Arcsin.

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WordPress is blocked by Turkey(s): a blogger’s revenge plan of action

Turkish Flag

And here is why (all links my own):

Dear Sir,

We have applied to you to remove the unlawful statements regarding my client Mr. Adnan Oktar (who is the author of the books written under the pen name Harun Yahya) in your blogs. The number of our attempts to inform and warn you regarding these defamation blogs must have been at least twenty, many times through your support page, a couple of times to your legal department and we even sent a regular mail to Mr. Matt Mullenweg. Most of our attempts were unanswered.

These defamation blogs contained slanders to some of my client’s friends as well. They also applied WordPress.com support with their official ID cards and a representative directed them to write to the legal department. So they did but again no response from legal.

So we have become obliged to apply to Turkish judicial courts to stop this defamation executed through your services. By the decision of Fatih 2nd Civil Court of First Instance, number 2007/195, access to WordPress.com has been blocked in Turkey.

The organization, which is led by Edip Yuksel, responsible for these defamation blogs in question are currently up for crimes such as “building an organization to commit crime” in Turkey. The sites of Edip Yuksel, http://www.yahyaharun.com, http://www.19.org, http://www.calinmisgenclik.com and also the blog under your site with the user name http://adnanoktar.wordpress.com have been blocked by Turkish judicial courts in Turkey before(by Gaziosmanpasa Civil Court of First Instance, dated 06.04.2007 and decision number 2007/130 D. Is) . We have also sent you the official documents on this judicial decision in one of our applications to you.

Since Edip Yuksel and his crime organization could easily start new blogs in your site, they had even launched a campaign in opening defamation blogs regarding my client and had explicitly expressed this organized endeavor in his defamation blogs:

In order to make people hear our voice, let everyone start new blogs from websites such as http://blogcu.com or http://wordpress.com and let them copy the posts on those blogs and paste them to their own. You can start several at once, if possible. Please remember that the name you will give to the blogs, should be related to Adnan Oktar or Harun Yahya in order to find them quickly through Google search. If the names are already taken, you can solve this problem by using characters such as “_” (Adnan_Oktar) or numbers such as AdnanOktar100, Adnan_Oktar_50.

The aim of all of these blogs that he and his organization starts, was to insult my client. All of them were completely full of slanderous statements. There are still some sites left open -not accessible from Turkey, but still accessible abroad – :

http://adnanoktar.wordpress.com
http://adnanoktarveislam.wordpress.com/
http://fitikado.wordpress.com

http://oktarbabuna.wordpress.com
http://adnancilar.wordpress.com/
http://adnanoktarveislam.wordpress.com/
http://whoisharunyahya.wordpress.com/
http://adnanoktargercekleri.wordpress.com/
http://quiestharunyahya.wordpress.com/
http://harunyahyaarabic.wordpress.com/
http://safsataciharunyahya.wordpress.com/
http://savsatalaracevap.wordpress.com/

The below are taken but still empty:

http://adnanzedeler.wordpress.com/
http://kodadiabi.wordpress.com/

As we have requested before:

WE DEMAND YOU TO REMOVE AND PROHIBIT ANY BLOGS IN YOUR SITE THAT CONTAIN MY CLIENT’S NAME ADNAN OKTAR OR HIS PEN NAME HARUN YAHYA OR VARIOUS COMBINATION OF THESE 4 NAMES.

Yours sincerely,

Attorneys of Mr. Adnan Oktar (Harun Yahya)
Atty. Kerim Kalkan / Atty. Ceyhun Gökdog(an (Istanbul Barr register number:
27405)

Address: Darulaceze caddesi, Bilal Is Merkezi, A Blok, D:5. Okmeydani Sisli
Istanbul
Telephone: 90 212 220 31 20
Fax: 90 212 220 74 21
E-mail: rotahukuk@rotahukuk.com
ceyhungokdogan@istanbulbarosu.org.tr

Now, I made a suggestion. I rather hope it gets taken up by other bloggers around the world, preferably on NON-WORDPRESS.COM platforms. People using self-hosted WordPress, people on Blogger and Blogspot, people with LiveJournals, and people who reinvented the wheel and built it themselves.

It is this:

I put out a call for all bloggers, on all platforms, to make silly jokes and bad puns and hey, some defamatory statements about anal-retentitiveness while we’re at it about the apparently both well-connected and thin-skinned ADNAN OKTAR or his pen name HARUN YAHYA.

This will cause Turkey either to extend the ban to ALL blogging platforms, including mainstream newspapers such as the Guardian and the New York Times, or to drop their block against WordPress. Such legal actions have to be asserted in all cases, or they must be dropped.

What say you all?

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i has a muneez

i has a mueez

Hey, this “working for a living” thang has an upside!

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the Sodomobile pays a visit to Fred Phelps

Michael Moore and his merry band of fags pay a visit to the homophobiest preacher the US has ever produced. Stolen from here which is a site I got to because Alexa told me someone on that page linked to my blog…which no-one did. The innernet works in mysterious ways.

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