Category Archives: Blogging

rant o’ the day: engrish angst

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InsaneI love the “Next Blog” button on WordPress.com. I read the most interesting things that way. Today, after a far-too-long spell of nothing but missionary blog after mommy blog after missionary blog after mommy blog after real estate spammer, I came across the following, and let me tell you, it was refreshing.

In fact, it was so refreshing, let me tell you again.

It was refreshing.

There, I said it.

Well, it was.

I mean, how many “Gosh, Joe-Bob Junior is six months old today! I can hardly believe it, but it was his four month check up sixty days ago and I guess Susan’s mom says that makes it six months and Susan’s mom’s really smart. I hope I raise my youngsters like Susan’s mom. Susan turned out really cool. Not like me, lol, my mother would look at me and say “Your a mess” well i am, and i mean to lose this baby weight i WILL but it all takes time and meanwhile I am a BIG BEAUTIFUL WOMAN not some stick figure like those girls on the tee vee that Big Joe-Bob watches all the time,” can you really read without wanting to put your fist through the cathode ray tube and saw through your carotid artery with the shards of glass?

Not too many.

And along came this:

I want talk singlis and bad engrish today.

I grow so many fats. Now I like pig so fat like that. EEEEEEE. Last time I smile can see cheekbones, now see what? FATS. I go jogging jus now and I cannot run at all lor. My legs like make of metal like that.

Now I wan to slim down! ON DIET! But also mus exercise lor.

Anywayssxzxz, I sood be in GENTING NOW. But I in SINGAPORE!!! I HATE O’S AND PRELIMS!!!!!!!! dRiViNg mE cRaZyYyYy!!!!!!!

Yes, apparently they are.

But still, think about it. One of the things everyone slobbers all over Hemingway for is his unique use of language. And, really, it’s the only thing going for Dickens besides the broad appeal of mawkishness. This blog entry is, I suggest, as different from the run of the mill English you read as Runyon or Shakespeare, and possibly even Spencer.

And far more amusing.

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Henry Rollins, cyberpatriot

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Sometimes, there’s just no other words for it but “Baby Hewey-faced motherfuckers screwing over our country,” and no better messenger of the divine truth than Henry. Fucking. Rollins.

Selah.

Transcript coming soon. And yes, it must be admitted I got this from BoingBoing.

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Cthulhugami

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I hate it when BoingBoing is on something before I am. Once! Once in six months! Time for some affirmations.

My self-esteem is intact. I am worthy. I have the respect of the Cthulummunity and the admiration of my peers. Yes, I do.

And I’m not defensive, either.

Bloody hell. Here, several days late, is the brazilliant, step by step photodocumentation of the creation of the immortal Origami Cthulhu!

Sometimes I think the most merciful thing in the world is the inability of human fingers to call into being the greatest of the Great Old Ones. We live in an origami-versions-of-Elder-Gods-free world, and it is not meant that we should fold.

Cthulhu origami

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p0p#1 sez u b svd lol!

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Digital confessional

Let no man say the Catholic Church doesn’t move with the times.

Oh, it doesn’t generally change policies any faster than a glacier changes direction, but their marketing department is already all over Second Life, reaching out to those with no particular First Life (so no change there), and now from the Guardian (of the faithful?) comes news that the Vatican, heretofor known as rather a Slow Adopter (at least since that whole Savonarola brou-ha-ha) has gone all bleeding edge and announced that the C-list blogger known as “the Pope” will be sending daily text messages to the faithful.

No word on whether the service provider will be Virgin.

 

Again.

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In-N-Out

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Bad Clone

Alas, not the Godly American hamburger chain. No, indeed. In-n-out is my internet service lately. Blame Shaw Cable. Maybe it was the 24 Gawker Media windows I had open; perhaps the incredible hotness of the Herbal Essences guy melted the switches or summat. Things better get fixed before I teach my blogging class; very difficult to blog offline.

Not to mention that WordPress.com keeps logging me out and back in as another identity.

In any case, posting will be light until things simmer down. Either click the raincoaster randomizer on the right or check out my blogroll: it’s mightily pimped out!