Category Archives: Books

sign o’ the times. The END times…

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do not fuck with Cthluhu

kidnapped and tortured from ghostrazor

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Nancy Drew in pregnancy shocker!

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There goes the last of my childhood heroes. All I can say is, wow, that must have been quite the party. Can’t wait for the first grainy cellcam footage to show up on YouTube.

Nancy Drew’s impregnation

Actually, who am I kidding? Nancy had a stick up her ass the size of the Washington Monument. Trixie Belden was the cool one.

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Indiana Jones and the Call of Cthulhu: complete text

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Cthulhu motivational poster

What do you people think? Is he going after Cthulhu this time?

It’s just too bloody perfect, you know. The protagonist in The Call of Cthulhu was an aging archaeologist with a reputation for doing things his own way. With his trusty buddy, Inspector Legrasse, he crosses the globe, attempting to puzzle out the mysterious connection between a precious religious artifact, a cannibalistic cult of Louisiana swamp dwellers, and a vicious tribe of Greenland Esquimaux.

Blowing away forever all pretence to cool I may once have possessed, I have re-edited Howard Phillips Lovecraft‘s immortal Gothic tale The Call of Cthulhu, and placed at its heart a certain Midwestern academic who is, himself, no stranger to the strange.

Right-click, Save As:

Indiana Jones and the Call of Cthulhu: complete text by raincoaster

Also: Indy in a hat. Still hawt?

indy

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Join the Harry Potter Challenge

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Snape-a-go-goWell, get a move on.

We have, as of this typing, exactly 29 days before the July 21st release of Harry Potter and the Deathly Cold Hallows, the seventh and allegedly final book in the Hogwartian Mythos Cycle.

Which is, should you be a speedy reader, just enough time to get through all of the previous books, particularly if you read them before. If you read them before but you were drunk, it counts as reading them for the first time, for purposes of scorekeeping in this highly competitive international competition.

And no, watching the movies does not count, especially if you mostly just fast-forwarded and rewound and replayed all the parts with Luscious Lucius Malfoy until the DVD started to burn out on you.

For bonus points, you may also read the purportedly-but-not-confirmedly-false version of HPatDH which was posted on the internet last month. And you may do so here.

So what are you waiting for? Get to work!

GET TO WORK!

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V for Vendetta: The translation!

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For those of you who, unlike me, do not speak Alliteration, here is the great alliteration speech from the film V for Vendetta, where V introduces himself to Evey, SUBTITLED!