And now for something completely trivial: a unicorn chaser if you will.
Looks like Britney‘s come to terms with the fact that her post-childbirth figure will never return to the sveltitide of her Oops I Did It Again days. This new version of her comeback hit Gimme More is even more scandalous than the stripper-pole-themed original, as all the dancers in this version are completely naked, save for a tantalizing dusting of powdered sugar.
Wonder how she sneaked THAT past the censors at YouTube!
(I always feel bad when I leave them out of the Ayyyy.com link roundup, because they always link back to us, but there’s only so much I can do with Jordan and Beth Ditto, ya know?)
Hello. Internet Gossip Bloggers. We are The Z-List Celebrities.
Over the years we have been watching you. Watching us. Your blog posts, showing our drunkenness, our nip slips, our public breakdowns, have caught our eye. With the rise of your blog traffic and general influence in the entertainment industry, we, The Z-List Celebrities, have decided that you must be destroyed.
For the good of your readers, for the good of society and, most of all, for the good of our failing shit-tastic careers we will systematically expel your blogs from the internet and dismantle your growing sphere of influence.
No longer will we be your birthday sluts.
No longer will TMZ’s cameras ambush us outside restaurants.
No longer will you draw cocks on our faces.
We recognize you as serious opponents and do not expect our mission to succeed in a short time frame. Regardless we will no longer tolerate you mocking members of our organization. Like Tara Reid for example, leave her alone. She’s really talented. Sure her tits are weird but she just needs the right part to showcase her abilities, You’ll see.
You have nowhere to hide. Because we are everywhere. You will have no recourse of attack because for every reality star that falls, ten more will take their place.
There are bandleaders in Brooklyn starving because of people like me. Thanks, Jack Valenti, for giving all Canadians the right to freely download music from the internet. I mean, I’ll miss the hell out of Dal Richards when he goes, but it’s him or this Slave 4 U remix, and one must have priorities!
Hacked and hacking, plus super bonus rotten weather meaning I have nothing better to do than sit inside and fret about my poor, dead blogs, the WP.com bug that is replacing all my P tags with DIV tags, and the 1400 people who came to this blog so far today looking for the sex tape of a drug-addled, quite possibly insane woman who is, besides, bloated and criss-crossed with track marks, methface, and surgical scars. Way to go, porn surfers. Your karma must be even more toxic than Britney right about now.
Plus, I’m really, really cranky. If only I could AFFORD some nice brandy, I might calm down. Well, anything’s possible, right?
But sometimes I do find something of moderate to severe amusement, and such is the following. For those of you who haven’t been reading People at the checkout line, Lindsay Lohan is probably the most talented of the Trainwreck Starlet Cavalcade currently lumbering through Hollywood, and probably the one with the most problems, except of course for Ms. Spears, who is in a class by herself (in so many ways). Lohan‘s father has been in and out of prison for at least a decade for a stunning variety of offences, and her mother is a notorious party cougar. Her sister is being moulded into the next sexpot, despite being 14 years old. And the boys? They’re not so pretty or potentially lucrative, so nobody cares about them.
And then there’s Perez.
Perez Hilton, the world’s most popular blogger (or, to be more specific, the author of the world’s most popular blog; everyone loves to hate Perez) was censored by YouTube yesterday, losing two of his accounts over claims he posted footage of Liza Minelli to which he did not have permission of the copyright holder. This claim appears not to be true, and his account has been reinstated, but he is, quite naturally, rather burnt about the whole experience and not thrilled with YouTube. He therefore went ahead and used a different format for his latest video about the troubled Lohan clan, a format which WP.com forbids us to use here on the ol’ raincoaster blog, but for which we have found a workaround.
raincoaster 