How do you spell “Hail Cthulhu” in Elvish?

Occupy Pumpkin Patch

GPOY: Occupy Pumpkin Patch

via Vicki McLeod

One does not simply walk into Gourd Door

One does not simply walk into Gourd Door

I had the best costume today, even if the mask didn’t fit very well.

V for Vogue

V for Vogue

The best part was that when people at, say, Starbucks looked surprised and alarmed (and they did) I just said, “Well, we TOLD you to expect us!” and they’d laugh.

Didn’t get the pumpkin carved in time (Elvish characters are a bitch to make without a proper Elven Pumpkin Carving Dagger) so I guess I’ll be eating a lot of curry, soups, and pie [holla, Oxford Comma] in the near future. And even though I had no jack o’ lantern and the porch light was out, I did get a few kids showing up: one four year old Super Mario, one six year old witch, a three year old um something vampiric I guess, and two older kids around twelve, one dressed in civvies and the other at least halfheartedly tried with a boy scout uniform. I rooted through the kitchen in desperation and ended up giving out all the apples. Super Mario Boy, “Oh goody, I LOVE apples!” By the time I remembered the lowfat caramel dip (what do you dip in it, Jenny Craig?) I was all out of Trick or Treaters for this year.

Then the cats and I spent four hours watching the fireworks in the park behind the house. Yes. Four. Hours. Every time there was a pause the black cat would freak out and start frantically pawing at the glass to make it start again. The bizarre thing is, it worked Every. Single. Time. The other cat expressed himself more directly, by expressing himself over the rug which is, thank god, machine washable.

In other news of unholy manifestations, I see that He is risen at last.

That’s right, bitches: Cthulhu is back!

Cthulhu is fit to be Thai'd

Cthulhu is fit to be Thai'd

As you can clearly see from these before-and-after pictures of the Chao Phraya river, He has returned…to Thailand. Great, do you have any idea how much the airfare will be?

HE could be a little more considerate, knowmasayin’?

Cthulhu as Nixon. He really IS evil.

Cthulhu as Nixon. He really IS evil.

Hump Day Unicorn Chaser: kittehs edition

a bitch slapper is essential equipment

a bitch slapper is essential equipment

It’s been that kind of a week. Ah yes, welcome back to Vancouver, self!

UPDATED TO ADD something I need to keep in mind on G+ as well as in meatspace:

I am NOT the Jerk Whisperer. Wait, I'm not????

I am NOT the Jerk Whisperer. Wait, I'm not????

Riot Dog will see your Caturday and raise you

Hell.

Riot Dog will take a bite out of the IMF

Riot Dog will take a bite out of the IMF

Did you even know that the Greeks have a kind of tradition of riot dogs? How awesome is that? On the other hand, a necessary precondition for a tradition of riot dogs is a tradition of riotry, which is not so awesome when it extends decades in each direction with no end in sight until both sides run out of money for ammunition.

via YourAnonNews and proof that Riot Dog is my spirit animal. He’s as as fluid of iteration as any “official member” of Anonymous, his yellow coat and floppy ears own his V for Vendetta mask and vastly more prevalent among the canine population than masks of any sort, really, which would look sort of silly; ubiquity confers effective immortality; you’ve gotta admit, that’s pretty intelligent for someone who isn’t even a border collie. Now all you cat people? Can just curl into a fetal ball and wait for someone to open a can for you, like always. Play them off, Keyboard Cat.

Freedom Now!

and it is everything you could ever dream of, my friend.

and it is everything you could ever dream of, my friend.

We’ve just had a few too many videos and not enough cats to keep the Nonymites happy around here, so … here you go. KITTEH!

Bonsai Kitten 2011!

bonsai pint kitten is a full 20 ounces

bonsai pint kitten is a full 20 ounces

Are you old enough to remember back in the days of Pet Rocks, when the biggest act in the world was the Osmonds and everyone and his dad (literally) collected Bonsai Kittens? Ah, those were the days (of Naugahyde and ponchos).

Sadly, after a brief but ubiquitous burst of popularity, the flame of the Bonsai Kitten‘s fame flickered and died, having only a brief revival once the Web had been invented and they could suddenly do mail order. Since then, they’ve been relegated to the back rooms of curiosity shops and the less reputable kitten mills of remote Mongolia.

All that is about to change, my friends.

Announcing the Self-Bonsai Kitten!

Isn’t that fantastic? Instead of growing Bonsai Kittens the old way, by hand, you can now purchase one of the specially bred kittehs who will auto-bonsai when presented with the proper receptacle.

No more this:

Bonsai Kitteh does not want to bonsai

Bonsai Kitteh does not want to bonsai

And we stumble gaily towards a world where everything, even our Bonsai Kittehs, are automatic.

The Seventh Seal Party Conga Line

The Seventh Seal Party Conga Line