Princely Prostate Perfect!

Prince Philip sez cough, please

Prince Philip sez cough, please

Breaking…

so to speak.

Contrary to rumours and a front-page article in the London Evening Standard (what kind if standard is that? I ask yez) Queen Elizabeth II‘s superannuated boytoy Prince Consort Prince Philip‘s prostate is in fact and in actuality fully-functional.

From Reuters:

We now accept that the story was untrue and that he is not suffering from any such condition,” the Evening Standard said.

“We unreservedly apologize both to him and to his family for making this distressing allegation and for breaching his privacy.”

Although I understand there’s a woman in France who could have just told them.

Operation Global Media Domination: the Lolebrity Situation

TIA Yay! My baby took her first unassisted steps today.

Well, okay, I may have had an assist in there, but she got the goal all by her own self. I didn’t even notice till the second Gawker thread had 84 comments on it.

Previously, she’d been held up by my daily links from Ayyyy and the occasional act of charity from AgentBedhead, but this past week she’s gotten two links from CelebuWreck without my even begging or linkbaiting for them, so she’s starting to toddle along nicely for a baby, or so I thought.

Until today.

Until she hit a new high of 1662 1718 and counting, with 12.55 hours left in the day, thanks to the fact that (I think) Nick Denton doesn’t yet know I own lolebrity.

Referrer stats:

Referrer Views
gawker.com 207
gawker.com/5033577/wintour-daughter-s… 106
ayyyy.com 37
google.com/reader/view 9
wordpress.com 6
google.com/reader/view/?tab=my 5
agentbedhead.com/index.php/page/2 4
google.com/reader/view/?hl=en&ta… 3
ayyyy.com/category/britney-spears 2
ayyyy.com/page/3 2
ayyyy.com/page/2 2

I’m unsure whether it’s good to get a ton of hits just before I stick ads on it, thus inflating my going rate, or get them just after, thus assuring the ad company and clients of my worth; do I feel guilty or clever? Ah, this is always my dilemma!

Also: Double Gawker Media Whammy! direct link from Defamer today, stuck waaay down at the bottom of the post and good for exactly zero hits so far. I didn’t even link to the NYT, for which I got the “via”; I linked to Valleywag. Is there a Gawker internal spat going on that I don’t know about? I GOT on Facebook; what more do I have to do to get in the goddam fucking loop? Eh? I ask yez.

Scotty is Lost In Space!

Actually, no. It’s worse:

Scotty is slowly sinking to the bottom of the South Pacific in a fine grey cloud of ash.

My God, It's Full of Stars!

My God, It's Full of Stars!

Dignified and strange, in its own way, and somehow an almost-adequate substitute for the original plan, which was for the cremains of James Doohan, proud Vancouverite, former Canadian war hero, and the actor who played Montgomery Scott, Chief Engineer of the USS Enterprise NCC-1701, to be shot into space in a private SpaceX spacecraft. Goddam dilithium crystals!

The Falcon 1 owned by Musk’s private space exploration company, SpaceX, left the ground and stayed off it for 2 minutes and 20 seconds before second- and third-stage rockets failed to ignite. The whole thing, including Scotty’s ashes, plunged back to earth.

Well, back to the Pacific Ocean anyway. But nothing, particularly not the fate of a legend, is simple, and it seems there had already been a couple of false starts and a frantic search leading up to the ultimate un-ternment. For a man who claimed (falsely, but amusingly) that he was kicked out of the Canadian Air Force for slaloming his plane between hydro poles on a bet, the rolling swells of the unfettered tropical ocean are indeed the Final Frontier.

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Elvis is the Emperor!

I should explain.

I should explain, specifically, about the fangirl gene. I got the fangirl gene (I think The Sister escaped that particular fate, and much time and cash it has saved her, too, even though the first concert I went to was a Shawn Cassidy concert because my mother was damned if SHE was taking my sister to a Shawn Cassidy concert, but somebody had to; oh yes, and then there was the Starsky and Hutch phase she went through, and the Donny Osmond come to think of it but hey, Osmond could sing and there was precious little in the way of entertainment value in Wiarton, let me tell you OH and did I mention I asked Wiarton Willie to friend me on Facebook? We go back aways) from my mother.

My mother was the original Elvis fan.

It’s family legend, and probably truthful at that (rare in Irish families, it must be said, and it must be said, in fact, by none other than me) that when she worked at Eatons she told her boss she needed Tuesday off, because that was the day Elvis was coming to Ottawa and her boss said she couldn’t have Tuesday off, so she threatened to quit.

This is where I learned my work ethic as well, by the way.

She nearly divorced my father any number of times, the most serious of which was when they went down South for a trip and he did NOT take her to see Elvis, who was playing 20 minutes from where they were staying.

So, that’s where I get it. Apologies to (um, lessee…) Viggo Mortensen, Steve Jobs, Kenneth Branagh, Tony Blair, Bono, Kurt Cobain, Prince Caspian (circa Voyage of the Dawn Treader only), Mark and Jason from Battle of the Planets, Mister Spock, and the boys in The Wolves of Willoughby Chaseand The Little White Horse.

But I’m over that now.

No, really. Despite my occasionally slightly-more-enthusiastic-than-can-quite-pass-for-objective comments on Valleywag Steve Jobs posts. So over that.

In any case and anyway, here is something my mother would treasure: actual physical evidence that stars, or at least Elvis, transcend(s) time and space, manifesting here in a 2nd Century AD Roman bust:

Elvis isn't the King, he's the Emperor!

Geekaerobics with Elijah Wood

This isn’t a workout video, but it should be! This mashup of Yo Gabba Gabba and The Numa Numa Song (Dragostea Din Tei) would be an instant hit, whether released as a regular DVD or in specially adapted format for the WiiFit. We’ve all seen and enjoyed those videos, haven’t we?

So here is music geek Elijah Wood with the post-postmodern children’s television geek icons from Yo Gabba Gabba, prancing and dancing and even (apparently) moonwalking, a risky move that has been known to be fatal to street cred.

Enjoy?