The second in our continuing video exposé series on What Really Happened.
It’s that goddam Cheezburger cat!
I knew he was evil!
But who’d have thought he was working for the Empire?
Thanks to Gina for the tip.
Keep your eyes on the skies!
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uh, blog content.
Yesterday I unplugged for the entire day and read the only example of chick lit ever to fully engross me: the quite non-fictional Lindsay Moran‘s Blowing My Cover: My Life as a CIA Spy.
And it occurred to me: given that most women buy their own perfume, rather than leave it to some guy, why are there no perfumes that are marketed using the superhero archetype? Or the superagent one? I would totally buy something that made me feel like Supergirl or Emma Peel; in fact, that’s how I choose perfumes: by balancing alluring qualities with kickass ones, which is how I ended up with Chanel #19, Allure, and (in my dreams) Midnight Poison, DKNY Red, and Stella McCartney, all of which can be described as kickass yet fuckable.
Is it related that today I am wearing my cape? I should totally make an indoor cape, for blogging, just to put myself in the right mindset. Why should imaginary people have all the fun?
Seriously.
Also, it keeps the tentacles warm.
Shocking news from Guantanamo Bay, as reports trickle in that security has been breached, in several, very palpable ways.
Prisoners have been sighted in possession of, and actually wearing, contraband items which have obviously been smuggled in somehow, to purportedly the most secure compound on Earth. Ringed by the Caribbean Ocean, patrolled by endless US Navy and Coast Guard boats, continuously scouted by fighter jets and surveillance drones, nonetheless the Gitmo prison camp has proven as porous as cheesecloth, all the forces of the United States Military no more effective than the elderly, be-aproned greeters at Wal-Mart.
We’re talking Speedos, people.
From the AP, via the Guardian:
SAN JUAN, Puerto Rico (AP) – Guards at the Guantanamo Bay prison camp found two prisoners sporting unauthorized underwear, and the U.S. military is investigating to determine how they got the contraband.
Both prisoners were caught wearing Under Armour briefs and one also had on a Speedo bathing suit, items the military said were not issued by Guantanamo personnel or sent through the regular mail, according to a Defense Department letter obtained Friday by The Associated Press.
Army Lt. Col. Ed Bush, a spokesman at the jail holding some 340 men on suspicion of terrorism or links to al-Qaida and the Taliban, said more was involved than just an uproar over skivvies.
He said the appearance of contraband raised serious concerns about the potential for smuggling other items that could be used by detainees to harm themselves or staff.
“There is no room for error when working in a dangerous environment, and constant vigilance is of the utmost importance,” Bush said.
Sweetie, if they look half-decent in them, you can be certain that at least some of your guards won’t take their eyes off of them. They’ve been away from home for a long time.
So, how does that work: if we wear the baggies, do the terrorists win?
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It’s time for another episode of everyone’s favorite call-in show, and ohhhhh, by Shub-Niggurath, this is a good one! It’s not every day that you get to hear from Xenu himself! Wonder what Tom Cruise thinks of this?
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Why, you ask…to which I reply, ever been there? Here’s the must-see movie of the year, coming soon to a theatre anywhere but Toronto.
From the movie’s site:
If there’s one thing that truly unites Canadians it’s our national pastime of bashing Toronto. The first film on the subject, Let’s All Hate Toronto is a hilarious tongue-in-cheek road doc. The film follows “Mister Toronto” as he embarks on a coast-to-coats Toronto Appreciation tour, encountering “recovering Torontonians” and those who would be quite happy never to step foot in TO.
Is Toronto really Torauma, Onterrible? Yes, according to a “professional Toronto hater.” And in Calgary they finally discover the answer to a question that has boggled them for ages: why do all the trees point west? (“Because Toronto sucks that much.”)
Now, this all sounds fairly straightforward, and I, of all people, am not one to dismiss something that unites all of our great, yet divided, nation (really, only laughing at Conrad Black comes anywhere near close) but there is one little problem, one teensy thing preventing me from joining in the risibling and the ridiculizing.
What is this “Toronto” of which they speak?
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raincoaster 