five THOUSAND things

five fingers

In groups of five. I kind of love this idea for a blog. Dan Pink‘s blog was Just One Thing, just one thing per day, quite often just one sentence. This is Just FIVE Things, five demented things. And we may not be so much about the numbers around here, but we are VERY MUCH about the demented. Passed along by the normally quite steady Timethief.

A sample of the fivefold delights of the 5ives blog:

Five things, besides “your ride,” that you might wish to “pimp”

April 5th, 2007

 

  1. your sideboard
  2. your clergyman
  3. your thoughts on transubstantiation
  4. your hypothalamus
  5. your ranch dressing mix

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quiz: who’s your celebrity boob twin?

I’m really rather surprised I didn’t get Padma Lakshmi’s octoboobies, but I didn’t. I’m also surprised Jessica Simpson is a 34D. She looks much more Russ Myersian than that, you’da thunk.

Also, I should get bonus points; my boobs are free range and organic. Hers are battery boobs, and only guaranteed for ten years, I think. And if you read US you know where they’ve been.


Your Celebrity Boob Twin:


Jessica Simpson

Who’s Your Celebrity Boob Twin?

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ten THOUSAND tentacles!

Well, plenty anyway.redwoods

It’s just under a month to my actual birthday and the virtual presents are already piling up under the ol’ raincoaster birthday tree.

First of all, the world is finally showing the lolgoths some love, with links from France, Germany, and the republics of laughing squid, loltapirs, lolbuffy, and lolnin. And WordPress.com top posts, finally; everybody is completely verklempt about the Marilyn/Dita thing. Even if they DID downvote it to minus two on reddit. Goths have no sensa huma.

Gawker used something I sent them, which is like the second time in history after the sure thing booze post from Cold Desert.

And today, they gave me this:

Padma

Seriously, does it look like she just whipped those out of her Wonderbra or what? I adore the fact that the lipstick perfectly matches the octopi. How cute is that? I can picture the makeup artist at the Dior counter, holding shade after shade up to the octo-hides…

Oh wait, I just remembered that octopi can change colour to match their backgrounds. Obviously these were slate grey or plaid or sumpin until she picked them up and then their little octobrains said OMG we’re totally clashing here, gimme a sec, and poof, perfect camouflage!

But topping even Padma’s ‘Pussies is the mighty, roaring tsunami of tentacles that Stiletto Girl posted for me over on her blog. Click and marvel at this amazing roundup; in true SG style, every single one of the octopi is completely starkers. Nekkid as the day it was borned! VVNSFAquarium! You’ve been warned!

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Knitting for psychos

These are so inspiring I may just take up needles again. After all, they’re long, pointy, dangerous items that you can take virtually anywhere; just the kind of thing I normally carry anyway. Timethief passed along the Knitting for Psychos page, which makes me wonder how she spends her leisure hours…is she the twisted genius that made the conjoined twins teddy bear(s)?

Knitting for Psychos

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Halifax: it’s in your lungs!

Now this, ladies and gentlemen, is the way you do a promotional video. Kicks the ass of that sad-sack wigger squirrel, don’t it?

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