Stolen from Gawker. Sure, Aleksey Vayner‘s video was so over the top as to constitute unintentional self-parody, but I’m all for piling on when you smell blood, and Vayner‘s been hemoragging ever since Dealbreaker got ahold of the damn thing and broke it worldwide. Wonder what he’s doing now? I expect the phrase “Would you like that Venti-sized?” figures large in his workday.
In any case, here is Michael Cera, former Arrested Development star, kicking sand in the eyes of the hapless Uzbek. I’d like to take this opportunity to point out that I was the first person to question whether or not that was him in the skiing section, a point obviously not lost on Cera.
What is it about French female singers? Last time I got this verbose over a music video was Vanessa Paradis’ Coup Coup, which was indeed a sweet little video, even if her voice was never going to set the world on fire. This time it’s Mylene Farmer, an unspeakably beautiful and delicate (and, apparently, immortal) redhead with a voice that would charm, if not the birds out of the trees, at least all the slackers off the sofa and to the window, and whom I first ran across on MuchMusic, our godforsaken Canuckistani music channel, and then a couple of years later at my friend Alain‘s place. He wanted to show me this amazing CD he’d gotten, all in French, from a friend of his who was a flight attendant. He was rather shocked I knew the songs, but who could forget Comme J’ai Mal? Both the song and the video, with Mylene transforming into an exquisite butterfly/moth hybrid are absolutely unforgettable, and it doesn’t hurt that she followed that up with California, one of the best, and most brutal, synopses of the SoCal experience in music. It kicks Hotel California into the dust, particularly if you know what the words actually mean, which is always optional in Hollywood.
And she’s a Canuck, too. We all look like that, honest.
But this is her comeback song, from 2005, and it’s called Fuck Them All. She hasn’t aged a minute, although something about her face screams really expensive work done, the voice is as amazing as ever, and so is the sense of theatre. Enjoy this Goth romance/feminist emancipation/war protest song. It just may be the most beautiful protest song ever filmed. Translation coming TK; I don’t trust my own French. Volunteers?
French lyrics and English translation over the jump, courtesy Mylene Farmer International Forum, which also has some interesting interpretations of the song. Follow the link for those.
Here’s a brief taste of weirdnesses I cruised or missed which didn’t make it into the ol’ raincoaster blog, for one reason or another. If it’s Santa-related or Squid-related, you can assume the reason it didn’t get into the blog has to do with the fact that I copied it to the hard drive at home before the cable went out and haven’t been back to get it. Otherwise, it’s the kinda thing where I looked at it and said Nah, we’ve had too many Darth Vader Sticks Up a Drive Through stories recently, and I just skipped it.
He-Man Sings Four Non-Blondes. The reason I didn’t post this is simply that I figured everyone on Earth had seen it, but I found out today that’s not true. So here it is. Break out the rainbow legwarmers and glow sticks and put on your dancin’ shoes!
In Cologne, a plastic surgeon cheated out of payment by two women using fake names gave “wanted” pictures of their enlarged breasts to police.
I’ll BET they were wanted!
Rich people getting ripped off on luxury items. You see these from time to time and every time I think: This is news?This is justice, baby!
The best of Dear Prudence. I’ve read it. There IS no best. Dear Prudence, please shut the fuck up.
Predictions, particularly by people who were wrong in the past, and who start their prediction stories by listing instances of them screwing up last year. What hurts most when I read these is realizing he was paid just as much for “I was wrong when I said Britney and K-Fed would have a girl” as “And today the Sudan was invaded by Ethiopia…”
Public opinion polls, particularly contradictory ones. If I wanted to know what the common people thought, I’d go to the bloody beer store and I’d ask them.
Praise be to Fark, which is a year-round source of insanity upon which I have come to rely. And some day I’ll even figure out how to register there. Maybe.
Inspired by the interesting contrast of Jesus Jones‘ and Van Halen‘s songs both called Right Now, I’m posting these: two songs, both called Hold On, both optimistic and arguably existential in different ways, and both outstanding examples of their genre.
I know this pain
Why do lock yourself up in these chains?
No one can change your life except for you
Dont ever let anyone step all over you
Just open your heart and your mind
Is it really fair to feel this way inside?
Chorus:
Some day somebody’s gonna make you want to
Turn around and say goodbye
Until then baby are you going to let them
Hold you down and make you cry
Dont you know?
Dont you know things can change
Things’ll go your way
If you hold on for one more day
Can you hold on for one more day
Things’ll go your way
Hold on for one more day
You could sustain
Or are you comfortable with the pain?
You’ve got no one to blame for your unhappiness
You got yourself into your own mess
Lettin’ your worries pass you by
Don’t you think its worth your time
To change your mind?
(chorus)
I know that there is pain
But you hold on for one more day and
Break free the chains
Yeah I know that there is pain
But you hold on for one more day and you
Break free, break from the chains
Some day somebodys gonna make you want to
Turn around and say goodbye
Until then baby are you going to let them
Hold you down and make you cry
Don’t you know?
Don’t you know things can change
Things’ll go your way
If you hold on for one more day yeah
If you hold on
Don’t you know things can change
Things’ll go your way
If you hold on for one more day,
If you hold on
Can you hold on
Hold on baby
Wont you tell me now
Hold on for one more day cause
It’s gonna go your way
Don’t you know things can change
Things’ll go your way
If you hold on for one more day
Can’t you change it this time
Make up your mind
Hold on
Hold on
Baby hold on
They hung a sign up in out town
if you live it up, you won’t live it down
So, she left monte rio, son
Just like a bullet leaves a gun
With charcoal eyes and monroe hips
She went and took that california trip
Well, the moon was gold, her
Hair like wind
She said dont look back just
Come on jim
(chorus)
Oh you got to
Hold on, hold on
You got to hold on
Take my hand, I’m standing right here
You gotta hold on
Well, he gave her a dimestore watch
And a ring made from a spoon
Everyone is looking for someone to blame
But you share my bed, you share my name
Well, go ahead and call the cops
You dont meet nice girls in coffee shops
She said baby, I still love you
Sometimes theres nothin left to do
Oh you got to
Hold on, hold on
You got to hold on
Take my hand, I’m standing right here,
you got to just hold on.
Well, God bless your crooked little heart st. louis got the best of me
I miss your broken-china voice
How I wish you were still here with me
Well, you build it up, you wreck it down
You burn your mansion to the ground
When theres nothing left to keep you here, when
Youre falling behind in this
Big blue world
Oh you go to
Hold on, hold on
You got to hold on
Take my hand, I’m standing right here
You got to hold on
Down by the riverside motel,
Its 10 below and falling
By a 99 cent store she closed her eyes
And started swaying
But its so hard to dance that way
When its cold and theres no music
Well your old hometown is so far away
But, inside your head theres a record
Thats playing, a song called
Hold on, hold on
You really got to hold on
Take my hand, I’m standing right here
And just hold on.
This got started in the comments section of another post, but it seems to me more than deserving of its own post; it is far more important than Saddam Hussein’s last words. I started to watch the Daniel Pearl video, then I stopped it and did not go on. But I have read all kinds of banned documents, including the manual of Afghani Jihad, and I think I would watch the Steve Irwin video if his family would allow it to be released, so why I draw the line here but not there, I am not really sure I know.
What is it about French female singers? Last time I got this verbose over a music video was 
Here’s a brief taste of weirdnesses I cruised or missed which didn’t make it into the ol’ raincoaster blog, for one reason or another. If it’s Santa-related or Squid-related, you can assume the reason it didn’t get into the blog has to do with the fact that I copied it to the hard drive at home before the cable went out and haven’t been back to get it. Otherwise, it’s the kinda thing where I looked at it and said Nah, we’ve had too many Darth Vader Sticks Up a Drive Through stories recently, and I just skipped it.
Sudan was invaded by Ethiopia…”
raincoaster 