Poop smear?

 The Mad Doctor of Mott Street; I think I went to him once.

This easily wins the award for Best Stuff Found On WordPress In, Like, A Bajillion Years. Behold a small snippet of the glory that is She Got Her Pap Smear WHERE?

R (my neighbor)….”I had to take my sister to the doctor last week. She is already 23 and never had a pap smear. Since, she is a virgin, the doctor did the pap smear in her behind”.

Me…”Her behind what?”…

The conversation continues…

…See, now she has angered me and I am resorting to using big medical terms like turd and poontang.

Figuring that this might get interesting, I make myself calm down.

Me….”Why did she have to go to the doc? Is she ill?

R…..”She’s suffering from lack of malnutrition”.

Me…..”Don’t you mean lack of nutrition?”

R……”NO!! The doc said lack of malnutriton. I was standing write there when he said it.”

Me….”Well, I gotta run. Got things to do. See ya around. Hope the ass-smear turns out OK”. (Couldn’t resist saying “ass-smear”. I’m such a smart-ass sometimes)

Gyno Exam, yo. What does it LOOK like?Sounds to me like somebody needs a new gynecologist. Or more intelligent relatives. What do you say? Did this woman actually get a poop smear instead of a pap smear, or is the woman’s sister just demented and dumb as a bag of rocks, so she eventually tired of trying to explain it to said sister and just made shit up?

But yaknow whut? There is a precedent. Warning: that link not safe for work OR lunch.

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PSA: civil city slam Vancouver

From Pivot Legal Society:

“Civil City Slam”

Tuesday, May 22, at 7 pm at First United Church 320 E. Hastings St, at Gore Ave.

This forum is being organized as a result of an initiative undertaken by 16 Vancouver progressive elected representatives, representing 3 levels of government, including MP Libby Davies; MLAs David Chudnovsky, Adrian Dix, Jenny Kwan, Gregor Robertson, and Shane Simpson; City Councilors David Cadman, George Chow, Heather Deal, Raymond Louie, and Tim Stevenson; School Board Trustees Allan Blakely, Sharon Gregson, and Allan Wong; and Parks Board Commissioners Spencer Herbert and Loretta Woodcock.

David Eby from Pivot Legal Society will speak at this event.

Read Pivot’s reaction to the appointment of former B.C. attorney-general Geoff Plant in today’s papers, including the International Herald Tribune.

Where is Ottawa?

Wednesday, May 23, at 7 pm – 9 pm at Unitarian Church 949 West 49 Ave.

“Stop homelessness for now, for 2010, forever.” Organized by the Carnegie Community Action Project in cooperation with The City Wide Housing Coalition.17 Members of Parliament from Vancouver and the GVRD have been invited to discuss what the role does federal government have in solving homelessness and housing crisis.

Come and say hello to the Pivot volunteers and staff at the Booth table!

HOPE IN SHADOWS: Can you help?

We are full-steam ahead in organizing this year’s HOPE IN SHADOWS photography contest, exhibition and calendar. Every year we need corporate sponsors, and this year is no exception. We are hoping to expand on the successful training we offered last year, but we need a few more businesses interested in supporting us. If you know of any company that has a policy of helping the community, please let Paul Ryan know. We accept all levels of sponsorship, from the purchase of a month by to in-kind donations. Please e-mail Paul at pryan at hopeinshadows dot com or call Paul on 604 782 2861 if you can help, even if it is just telling us about a company you think would be suitable, and we will contact them. HOPE IN SHADOWS now has its own website: http://www.hopeinshadows.com

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About Pivot Legal Society
Pivot’s mandate is to take a strategic approach to social change, using the law to address the root causes that undermine the quality of life of those most on the margins. We believe that everyone, regardless of income, benefits from a healthy and inclusive community where values such opportunity, respect and equality are strongly rooted in the law. 

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help! forums!

Yesterday was a typical day at the WordPress.com help forums. And, typically, I composed a rant to blow off some steam. Enjoy:

“Hi there! I’m an expert on web design, although I don’t know what a template is and cannot figure out how to use the search forum box, and I’ve only been here thirty seconds, but you should listen to me. There should totally be a way for people to post text in their blogs. They should be able to type something and have letter-shaped groups of pixels appear on their own unique webspace. What a shame WordPress.com does not allow this! I have posted a solution to this on my blog. See my blog for solutions. My blog is full of solutions.
Also, I’m not smart enough to leave a link to my blog. That is all. Think about my solutions!!!”

Gawd how I love clueless, knowitall newbies. Fresh meat.

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news flash: Paris Hilton is not appealing

Paris in Prison 

But we knew that anyway. The ass goiter has always bothered me, personally. CNN agrees: Paris Hilton is un-appealing.

Paris Hilton won’t appeal the 45-day jail term she was sentenced to earlier this month for violating probation, according to court documents filed Thursday.

A lawyer for the 26-year-old socialite notified Los Angeles Count Superior Court that she is abandoning her appeal, said court spokeswoman Katherine Roberts.

Hilton was ordered earlier this month to report to jail by June 5 for violating the terms of her probation in an alcohol-related reckless driving case.

Hilton initially called the sentence unfair, and lawyers representing her filed a notice to appeal the sentence.

She then switched attorneys and is now represented by drunken driving specialist Richard Hutton. Hutton did not immediately return several calls for comment Thursday.

Hilton will be jailed for about 23 days of a 45-day sentence and will be separated from the general inmate population, authorities decided after reviewing her case.

The shorter sentence reflects an expectation that Hilton behaves behind bars.

Oh, how little they know of her reputation!

She will be held in a “special needs housing unit” at the Century Regional Detention Center in suburban Lynwood, Whitmore said.

And, presumably, she will be chauffeured there on a shortbus.

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lolgoth #8: invisible colour barrier!

invisible colour barrier!

source

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