Life & Style of the Great Old Ones

Rising couple the Nyarlathoteps have previously given our readers a peek at the stunningly exotic landscaping features they’ve installed at their new Miami mansion. Now come with us as they take us on an exclusive tour of the interior of their eldritch neo-Aegyptian hideaway.

Coffee Set

Their handpainted china, commissioned from a secret Asian workshop “somewhere on the Plateau of Leng.”

Alien Coffee Table

Their custom-designed bibelots tables from “the Dark Star beyond Aldebaran,” which is a label so exclusive it is one of which we at L&S have never heard. How exciting!

Angel of the Apocalypse

Their most unusual garden fixtures. This is their play structure for “the frolics” by which we take it to mean they’re planning on having many little Nyarlathoteps soon.

“Oh yes,” says Mr. Nyarlathotep (call me Abdul, he says to our interviewer, graciously) “We are planning to have many, many children, aren’t we, Shub?”

And his wife smiles inscrutably as she strokes one of their collection of sleek, black cats.

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Interstellar House and Garden

Nyarlathotep? Azathoth!The old Gloaming homestead of Miami has been given a glamorous new makeover since those exotic and exciting social dynamos the Nyarlathoteps rescued it in April of this year. The redecoration has spared no expense, and the charmingly distressed mansion is filled with those remarkable and seductively alien little touches that remind the owners of their former home. Eldritch-y!

They are from France.

And just wait till you see what they’ve done with the cellar!

Chihuly tree

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Calls for Cthulhu #6: Special Guest Star Xenu!

It’s time for another episode of everyone’s favorite call-in show, and ohhhhh, by Shub-Niggurath, this is a good one! It’s not every day that you get to hear from Xenu himself! Wonder what Tom Cruise thinks of this?

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Stacy Keach, Jedi Master Chef

Stacy Keach, Jedi Master Chef

Yes, Stacy Keach is a man of many talents. You may be familiar with him as an actor; you may have heard of his charity work; you may know him from his colourful personal history, but are you aware that this veritable Renaissance Man is also a qualified Jedi Master Chef?

Indeed, in the crowded ranks of celebrity Jedi Chef wannabes, only a rare few make it through to the revered rank of Jedi Master Chef. The years of training, the discipline necessary to wield a lightsaber or boning knife equally with not only a straight face, but a threatening one, the dogged pursuit of the scoundrel known as “Santa Clause”, and the ability to instantly recall the correct method for preparing non-weepy custard, are accomplishments beyond the ability of all but a rare, ascetic few.

Undertaking the way of the Jedi Chef is the choice of those remarkable individuals whose paths wind through tangled underbrush, dark valleys, and science fiction conventions.

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fan dumb

Sorry, Tuffy; the name is just too good not to steal – uh, recycle.

This story is stolen from the book I’m reading now: Starstruck: When a Fan Gets Close to Fame by Michael Joseph Gross who was, and is, a fan himself, so he aught to know.

On April Fool’s Day, 1934, when Ray Bradbury was thirteen years old, his family packed up and left Waukeegan, Illinois, for Hollywood, where his parents would search for work, and he would spend his free time outside studio lots with the packs of fans who collected autographs from movie stars. Remembering those days, he told me, “Of all of the people who did that sort of thing, I was the only one who had a dream of the future. I had a purpose for what I was doing. I was standing outside the wall of Paramount Studios when I was thirteen years old and I had a dream that I would jump over the wall and land inside and write a picture.”

About twenty years later, that dream came true. Walking down the red carpet with John Huston at the premiere of Moby Dick, Ray Bradbury was shocked to see, standing on the pavement, some of the autograph collectors he had known as a teenager. He left John Huston’s side and approached them, hoping they would recognize him. “I said, ‘I was that crazy boy who used to stand with you in front of Paramount.’ They said, ‘Oh yes, what are you doing now?’ And I suddenly got very embarrassed and didn’t want to tell them. There was this chasm that opened up between us, between what we had done together, what they were doing now, and what I was doing now. And I said, ‘I worked on the screenplay.’ And they said, ‘Did you type it? Were you in the stenographer’s department?’ And I said finally, ‘No, I wrote the screenplay.” And a strange thing happened at that moment. Suddenly their hands shot out, and there were half a dozen autograph books in front of me, and somebody handing me a pen. I crossed the border. I was not collecting autographs now. I was giving my first ones. It made me cry. I had made it over the wall. But none of those other people had made it over the wall.”

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